How to tell people/friends you're depressed?
Posted , 5 users are following.
Hi friends,
Let me say that this is possibly one of the most difficult "disease" to overcome in life. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety for the third time in my life, and people who have never experienced it just can't understand the pain we are going through. The everyday ongoing battle just to stay alive and not give up. It is so hard. I was wondering how did you tell your friends or people(if you had to) your problem? I am asking because they can see there's something wrong with me, I am a total mess, I can't function normally. But on the other hand, as I said, if you tell them upfront you are depressed or have a chemical imbalance in the brain they just wouldn't understand.They never experienced it.It is also therefore a bit shameful for you to tell them because of the society's stigma of being it a "mentall illness".
1 like, 7 replies
wayne1962 sara65420
Posted
Hi Sara - i hid my depressive disorder until my mid forties when I finally had to do something about it. Throughout life I had what I considered "normal" days where I would not be anxious under impending doom perhaps 3 or 4 times a year. I functioned with a job and a social network. No-one knew I was depressed, though some did think i self medicated with legal drugs like booze. When I finally admitted to myself what was wrong and sought help, i was beyond caring what anyone else thought. I was honest about what was wrong. Some "friends" shunned me. Some people - those who did not know me - acted like I might be dangerous. Yet others, with cruel and disruptive agendas, accused me of being violent, threatening and a danger to those around me - without any proof because it never happened. I was staggered at how police and other authorities believed the lies and the horror they subjected me to - horror that nearly cost my life. In conclusion, i consider one of the biggest mistakes of my life was admitting my sometimes debilitating illness and seeking help for it. It was the most harrowing journey of my life. My advice to you is to only tell those you can totally trust, if you tell anyone at all. This disease is a lonely and grey existence. It can be damaging to try explaining it to those who will not accept that mental health disorders are real. I am wondering if you are being treated for your condition? Whether there is a counsellor/psychologist you can explain this to? Meanwhile, hang in there, and use sites like this to connect with people who understand and are survivors of Mental Health Disorders. The other thing to say is that, in the end it doesn't matter what others think. It's how you are coping that matters. Best of luck to you Sara.
sara65420 wayne1962
Posted
Hi Wayne,
I must say your story shocked me. I can't even imagine what you went through and how hard it must have been coping with these horrible accusations of people, "friends" when you needed support the most. I am so sorry to hear that. Did you overcome your depression?
Thank you for asking, I am getting treated, started two days ago going to therapy(psychologist) and taking medication so I hope for the best! I have my next therapy session on Monday so I will ask about this.
wayne1962 sara65420
Posted
Hi again, Sara, how kind of you to respond, and I apologise for the shock my story has caused. I must say that my situation was most unusual and that the those who attacked and slandered me all over the show had done similar things to others over many years. Yes, it was absolutely horrifying how they - and authorities - shoved me to the lip of the cliff, firstly because that's the sort of monsters they were, but then needing me to crack/explode/suicide so they could say 'I told you so - he was crazy,' but ultimately they failed. It didn't help the depression - in fact I was hard pressed to complete a sentence for some months after and do have a post traumatic disorder thanks to them all, followed by a heart attack in 2013 which I blame them for. My depression, on the other hand, is a life-long matter caused by an emotionally/psychologically abused childhood. I have handled that by forgiving my abuser and learning to listen when others mention past abuses. It is heart breaking to see how much suffering is out there made worse by those who revel in and gleefully exacerbate the pain of others.
Meanwhil, Sara, good on you for taking the bull by the horns. Things will get better. Hang in there.
Hakuna_matata sara65420
Posted
Hi Sara I'm sceptical at the best of times I trust nobody,
Never have never will you see with knowledge comes power the more a person knows about you the more they can hurt you it's how I live my life
The problem is it's very lonely not being able to be who you are in like three people in one I'm a certain person to my friends another to work colleagues and yet another to any partners I have,
None of which are the real me it is rather what they need me to be does that make sense no body knows of my conduction god forbid I never let the three lives intermingle never cross any boundaries that may jeapidise the personas I live
Yes it lonely altho it's also safe I don't know what people think of me outside the environment to which I'm know I'm must be quite the mystery to them
I protect myself like this depression is hard to deal with at the best of times I don't need any outside influences that'll make me feel worse I have a journal I write in when I feel low it helps me feel like I've spoken to someone and eases the pressure it also allows me to deal with one thought at a time when I cry I cry alone no-body would know and I wouldn't want them to know sometimes I think you live a lie so long you become the lie it's a lifestyle for me now it's what I do in my DNA if you like.
You can get through things alone your strong enough believe me if you chose not to do that then as Wayne has said think carefully on those that you can trust before you say anything consider the journal idea it really helps as does finding and making time for yourself to do things you enjoy just for you try to be a little more selfish if you like xx
Take care here to talk if you need xx mike x
sara65420 Hakuna_matata
Posted
Hi,
I see your point, telling someone could just give them more power to hurt you. That being said, I believe they won't do that if they are your real friend, but that's something really hard to trust today, who is your true friend and who isn't. Do you get treated for your depression?
I keep a journal where I write when I feel really sad and it's good you do too
Hakuna_matata sara65420
Posted
Hi Sara I would love to be treated properly
My case is very unique I was dating a nurse your files are kept at hospital etc she used information to gain a great deal of control and paranoia on me so you see I can't go to the Drs because she will know why I went I reported her she came up with a cock and bull story they accepted she said she went on but only to find out my date of birth
Hey they need nurses right the reasoning behind her story makes no sense as we were dating but they accepted it all the same
I was once prescribed fluoxetine so I just but them now from America and have them posted to me but I crash a lot later the last time shamefully being night before last god only knows why I am still here I read that 50 tablets co-codomal would be enough I took 160 30/500 woke up yesterday sick as a dog today fine nothing at all wrong with me I'm cursed I think
david15680 sara65420
Posted
Hello friend,
I hid it for years. Behind being the clown, being overly sarcastic, being falsly ego-centric, and for a few years in my 20's with drinking. The few times I made myself vulnerable early on, I was betrayed. I was alienated. And then abused in 2 relationships, one even to the point of her beating me nearly to death because out of despeartion to not be alone I connected with an abusive drug user. I never used drugs myself, so I don't know what the attraction is to that, but it made her violent.
I kept it to myself, both the darkness and the abuse.
I met a new woman a few years ago, we got married in August. Had a miscarraige the previous year. And since then, things have not been good. The miscarriage set off something in me, it pushed me down, made me sad. The getting married was supposed to rebuild our relationship, but instead it seems worse. I have a stressful job. I am not doing what I want to do in my life to be happy, and it at times makes me depressed even more. I get quiet. Emotional. SHe says "needy". I really just want a warm smile and a hug, but her response has been that MEN are supposed to be tough and strong.
So, long answer, I don't know who and how you tell anyone other than people like us, because the rest of the world sometimes takes advantage of our ailment, which makes it feel worse.
I'm so sorry you are battling, your struggle to manage feels a lot like mine. So I guess we can take comfort in the fact that we are not alone?
I am here for you friend. Be well