1. Community
  2. Infections
  3. Genital Herpes Simplex

How to tell your partner about hsv

Posted , 3 users are following.

Takenc
Takenc

Hello, I was diagnosed with hsv2 a year ago. I was going threw depression for almost 6 months because of hsv. Now depression has come back and I met a guy and we have plans to be together and have a family together. I haven't told him about what I have because I feel it's not necessary yet sence we don't have any sexual contact. I just need someone to help me on how to tell him that I have this. Am terrified to tell him because he's one of the sweetest guys I've ever met. And before going into a relationship with him, I would like to let him know my condition first. What if he rejects me? It will hurt me so bad and wouldn't want to be in a relationship ever in my life. Please help !

0 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus Takenc

    Posted

    Wow, how long have you been dating? You guys are talking about the future and having a family, yet haven't had sex yet, so just curious! If he's genuinely that serious, then he should be understanding, so your disclosure will be revealing.

    I haven't had to disclose yet, but those who have just wait till the right time and occasion, then have an honest talk, armed with facts, maybe even website links and/or printouts. It might help to refer to it as the cold sore virus, or in the case of HSV2, something like (or similar to) the cold sore virus, rather than using the word herpes.

    Mention the low transmission stats (especially female to male) and your willingness to take other precautions (meds, condoms). Try to keep things causal sounding. If you make a big deal out of it, he may, too, which you want to avoid. Good luck!

    • Takenc
      Takenc FelizCastus

      Posted

      Thank you so much for your help. We are not gf and bf yet but we're trying to. You think I should just tell him now ? It's so nerve racking. The feeling of rejection is so hurtful.

    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Takenc

      Posted

      Hard to say about the timing! Too soon and too late are both not ideal. I guess when it's time, it will feel right to you. Make sure you disclose in a neutral (i.e., non-sexual) situation and private environment with no chance for distractions.

    • Takenc
      Takenc FelizCastus

      Posted

      Yes your right. Tell him like it's somethin natural. The stigma it's what's killing it

  • Livelife
    Livelife Takenc

    Posted

    I haven't had to disclose because I'm still with the person who gave it me, but my very close friend has to do it regular (she likes casual sex)

    and she says the best way is to just come out with it, no beating around the bush no crying no telling him he can leave if he wants just say 'before we take this any further I think you need to know something, a year ago I got herpes'

    • Takenc
      Takenc Livelife

      Posted

      How did you find out you had herpes? I remember when I was told I had herpes I was so devastated my whole world drop to the ground. And it was exactly a year ago when I found out. And for some reason depression is coming back 😢

    • Livelife
      Livelife Takenc

      Posted

      I just went and got a swab test haha, I've only had it a few months but I'm over the depression haha x

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.