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So, I’ve had HS for over 20 years. I’m in my late 30’s.
I have tried EVERYTHING now and nothing works. Antibiotics, surgery, immune suppressants, diet etc etc
I was always slim and never smoked.
Basically, I want to give up. This last year it is worse than ever. And I hate it. Really really hate it. The pain, the continual humiliation, the constant degeneration.
Endless counselling, CBT, even pills do not work. Why? Because it is objectively disgusting. There is no other way to look at it: It looks terrible, and smells putrid and it will only get worse and worse. I know the coping techniques, ‘mindfulness’, being kind to yourself... but all that is undone when i look in the mirror and see the rankness of my HS riddled body.
I don’t know why I’m posting. Perhaps i’m tired of the upbeat clap trap i’m fed from professionals. Perhaps to make people realise the abject pain of it. Perhaps because I want to give an explanation about why, sometimes, I just want to not go on any more. Perhaps because I desperately need help.
I hate that I have become so weak but I don’t know what to do.
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