HS dating and sexual relationships.
Posted , 32 users are following.
I am so glad I found this site. I feel comfort in finding some support from people who are experiencing the same pains as I am. I've never talked to any friends or family about living with this condition. I am 25 years old, (began to show signs of hs at age 9) and am still painfully embarrassed and ashamed of this condition. I am lucky enough to have a milder form with mostly scarring and my "boils" I guess you would call them, aren't ever big enough to need surgery although they can become extremely painful at times. But regardless of how mild or not mild my case is, I have not allowed myself to seek real romantic relationships with men because I am afraid of what they will think of my body. I have tried having sex a few times before but I have never fully enjoyed it because the whole time I was diverting his hands away from any affected areas and scars of my body... it's hard to get in the mood when you're not comfortable with your body. It all started in my under arm, moved to groin, and in the last two years has made its way under my breasts. My breasts were my favorite part of my body at one point, but now I can't even feel comfortable with that anymore! My confidence is completely shot due to the fact that I'm depressed, have body image issues, sexually frustrated, and lonely. The list goes on and on thanks to HS. I've always tried to keep a positive attitude about it because I knew that I had to live with it for the rest of my life, so I tried not to get down on myself and not focus on relationships but instead focus on being happy with myself regardless of what I see in the mirror. Lately though, it's been rough for me. all of my friends have gotten boyfriends and i just want the same. I don't want HS to hold me back from finding love and having a family someday. Sex gives me anxiety. Nakedness and the thought of being intimate in the morning during daylight hours gives me anxiety! Something so simple and I'm sure unappreciated by most people. How do I break it to the guy I'm dating that I have this problem without scaring him away? When do I bring it up? Do I bring it up or wait til he sees it for himself? Are there any HS dating sites?? That's a great idea actually. I've always thought I'd never end up alone because someone will love me for me (HS and all), and I really hope that's the case. Any personal stories about finding love and relationship advice would be much appreciated. Please help I'm in the dark here.
Peace and love
9 likes, 16 replies
Ineedhelp1 roby03434
Posted
Hi there! I had also been living with this secret until I met my boyfriend a couple years ago, I didn't know I had this condition I thought it was an STD so I opened up to him and told him I didn't know what I had, he was very supportive through it all... I ended up telling my sister about it too and we went from Doctor to Doctor until I finally saw a dermatologist who didn't say it was HS but prescribed me DORYX which I hear a lot of HS people use, anyways to answer your questions if he loves you he'll understand... This is not contagious it's a skin condition, you guys can learn to live with it. If you're not comfortable with touching then let him know and he'll make you comfortable if he doesn't understand that's his problem it's just a skin condition, I do understand how hard it is though getting back into the dating game it's very embarrassing and I also try hiding down there when it flares and I won't let anyone touch! It just takes a good man to understand.