HSV-2 only: Who else, and how often do you have outbreaks?

and then I said I would quickly get tested too in my home country. I was so worried I caused him the condition and I also wanted to get clearance to make sure I am fine too, because we are going to meet up again next week, and we both wanted to recover in time for our meeting. We chatted and always laughed about how devastating it would be if we couldn't have sex when we met.

I did the comprehensive std screen for the first time in my life. I had perhaps twice kind of infections like chlamydia / yeast infection when I was younger, but never did such a comprehensive one with 10 different STI and STDs included. Waiting for the test results freaked me out totally because I was thinking of the worst possibilities since I have never done such a test before and had 3 BFs before this current BF. I shared how nervous I was with my BF and he was always very encouraging and loving. He said no matter what the result was, he would be there for me and would love me the same.

The test result came back positive for HSv2. I felt so calm and fine with doc as she told me the result, it's condition and how common it was. But when I stepped out and broke the news to my BF, i teared up and cried immediately as I felt so sad for him. I felt like I was not good enough for him anymore and I felt our sex life could never be normal again. But he was still extremely encouraging on the other end, and he laughed it off, and says it's not a big deal, as long as it doesn't have lasting harmful effects to our health, it's not a big concern and even if he gets it from me he doesn't mind. I love him so much, and the more understanding he is, the sadder I feel. Though he has accepted me as I am so instantly, I was the one who couldn't accept myself, and I could not endure any thought of myself passing the virus to him. I keep thinking of different scenarios of how this would affect him later on, esp if we were not going to be together in the end since we live in different countries, I never want him to be facing this all alone. All these thoughts of thinking and rethinking how it would affect him if he got it, and how I could not have proper sex with him when we meet next week, really saddened me and sort of drove me into an internal depression. Can you imagine how both of us has been waiting for months to meet up, thinking all naughty thoughts of how we would spend our time together, and suddenly, I can't let him have oral sex on me anymore? Dental dams, what are all these things I am reading about! I just can't imagine anyone would still be in the mood for sex using dental dams or oral sex with a condom. I feel a kind of humiliation that now with this condition, we are to be reduced in our sex lives and the saddest part of it all is really to snatch the experience of sexual enjoyment away from your partner. He loves giving oral sex but now I won't let him cos I love him and don't want to put him at risk? I'm still sorting this part out as I have not told him how I truly feel, as I don't want to be such a burden over chat. I will share with him when we meet face to face next week and I'm sure I will be all in tears. I only told him so far, let's put away our previous expectations of my meet up and lets only expect that he would see me, that's for sure. But anything else, let's see first. He's been so sweet and he replied he only expects me, nothing more or less. I hope to update with how it would turn out next week. I really don't know.

Life seems so sad and truly hsv2 is more of a physiological than a physical illness for me. I couldn't find strength to engage in proper conversations with friends or family as I find my mind drifting away to my own world of problems and negative possibilities. Until I came here! Suddenly I feel such a release somehow and I sincerely hope more sharing can help more people out there.

I was diagnosed only 4 days ago and was shocked because I never saw any sores on my genitals ever. But after reading all the medical websites and trying to recall all my past years, I probably understand now and put together a few scenarios when I could have probably started having it. Still don't know whom I got it from though since my past BFs were really long ago, perhaps about 6-8 years ago I probably had a breakout my first time.

1. I remember a period of time I felt v itchy at my vagina area (top surface area). I didnt suspect anything except that I thought I shaved and hence the hair growth process was causing the itch. I think I survived one week of it because I didn't see any doc or applied any medicine and life got back to normal.

2. There was another time (another year) I was just sitting on the sofa one night, suddenly I felt itchy bites around my tummy area. I checked and looked and there were a line of bites around my tummy, and also a few bites nearby and another few bites towards my back. There were v itchy and I thought for the longest time they were bed bugs or some bugs which was in the sofa. I was prone to bug bites hence I thought it was it. I did online research and they also said usually bed bugs bite in one line, and they love around tummy area - so I was sure. But now upon looking back, I really don't think so now, that would mostly likely be a prodome of an outbreak. But that was a very painful experience because the bites didn't go for 2 weeks and I remembered seeing different skin specialists to help. Put ointments but nothing healed, and got worse. The pain got so bad i couldn't even touch the bite areas at all. Sometimes any slight movement of my body would cause great pain. And sometimes there would be a very sharp nerve Attack from those areas. It was a nightmare. But one day I recovered. It must have been somewhat like one month. I recovered, there are still some faint scars left on my tummy, getting lighter by the year.. But only past two days I think to myself those weren't bug bites at all. If we could have identified earlier, and took anti viral meds for faster recovery then we wouldn't have to suffer that much. But all is great now

3. Other two occasions I had were just a little single pimple or a little skin lesion that recovered quickly in 2-3 days. Nothing big.

4. I experienced another prodome at the most recent skin lesion, which was last month. I was walking towards train and suddenly I felt an extreme itchiness on both of my inner thighs, and a tingling Hot sensation. It was itching so so badly but I couldn't be scratching my inner thighs in public, so it was really hard for me. I got home and saw 5cm bug bites red lines on both of my thighs. I immediately concluded as bug bites out of nowhere again, and was really frustrated as I felt mini tiny bumps beneath the skin as I rolled my fingers over the "bites". They recovered in 4 days (I applied bites medicine and it helped to ease the itchiness).

Now after reading up after I got my diagnosis. All these things became so much clearer to me. It seems I had gotten hsv2 for so Long probably nearly 10 years now, life was very normal and happy for me up to the point I got diagnosed. It really is our mind that decides what kind of life we get. A diagnosis shouldn't change who we are and how we had enjoyed our life so far. Wishing everyone all the best and Chin Up all!

My BF had white discharge from the Gono infection, and doc took that discharge as well as urine tests to check. Doc say he was negative for hsv and I'm so glad it didn't get to him. It has been nearly 5 months since we last had sex so I should think he is safe. I hope so.

Do you know from your reading or research if guys have it any easier during outbreaks? I'm just imagining the worst if it happens to him 🙈😣...

Anyways yes I came out negative for Gono and Chlamydia, syphyllis, candida, yeast and HIV ... So it was only hsv.

FelisCatus are u able to share what you know / what it means when they say hsv2 is linked to HIV? It means we are more prone to get HIV if we do come into contact with a person suffering from HIV? Would like to make this more clear so we know how to protect ourselves even better since more we are more exposed. Thanks so much.

To ask something personal - I mean we are all talking about our private parts so personal enough already! 😂 If you were to find a partner would you ask them to have a full sti test to see their status before sleeping with them? I balk at the thought of doing that, not only would I have to tell them my horrid situation but also then insult them by asking them to do that! In Ireland people generally sleep with each other after a few dates, I personally wait a little longer but people don't wait for months or anything... So within weeks of meeting someone you've to tell them all about this and then ask them if they've possibly got HIV - what a conversation to have!

Yes, HIV is via blood and sexual fluids, so condoms should protect. Regular boxer shorts area skin without lesions and which is not otherwise compromised should be okay, but mucosal skin with or without lesions is not, even without herpes (during sex, such skin is more likely to incur microscopic tears). Condoms are the way to go in that case, whether you ask about one's HIV status or not (which is a fair enough question to ask, imo, if nothing else).

Anyways after what u said I think it's Super important to ensure the partner really knows for sure they have checked and gotten clearance for HIV. Cos we really wouldn't know if he has an ulcer in mouth or if we have in mouth and then we could get it via just kissing cos its passing of bodily fluids? So eventhough its not at genital area, but we could pick it up that way? 😳 Sorry for ignorance, but does it count that way? Sorry I sound so paranoid, don't want to over scare ourselves, but I just needed clarification too. I think we need to protect ourselves much better. I think prior to my diagnosis of hsv2, I just have not been exposed to enough education on stds totally, no one ever told me there were so many other kinds of risks that could be so prevalent, apart from HIV which sounds not so common.... Thanks Felis and all. 🙏🏼❤️