Posted , 5 users are following.
I just found out I have HSV2 about 2 months ago from my cheating ex husband. I have a new boyfriend and he really wants to do oral on me. I'm very skeptical about letting him. He's accepted the fact he will probably get the genital herpes but I don't feel like I want him to get it in his gorgeous face. What do you all do in this situation? Is oral out of the question?
0 likes, 16 replies
We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.
Guest Hatefulex2008
Posted
Well, herpes could be transmitted very easily. Even when you do not have an outbreak it could be transmitted by kissing. I have HSV1 and my boyfriend knows but we still do oral and everything else, luckily he hasn't gotten it. Or if he does, he's never gotten an outbreak. Honestly for as long as he knows the risk, you've done your part by letting him know.
Hatefulex2008 Guest
Posted
I get that I've done my part. I just don't like putting him at even more of a risk. It makes me sad I guess that we can't enjoy eachother without the thought of passing this on always in the back of my mind
FelizCastus Hatefulex2008
Posted
Actually, it would be better for him to get it orally rather than genitally, as oral HSV2 rarely ever recurs and is not nearly as infectious as the genital form or even oral HSV 1. HSV2 doesn't like the oral region as much either, so he may not even get it there, but there's always that risk.
If he is negative, you should consider daily suppressive therapy and condoms for maximum protection, plus no sex of any kind when you think you might be getting or having an outbreak. If you were recently infected, you are more infectious now and for the first few months to a year, so the meds would be even more helpful.
Hatefulex2008 FelizCastus
Posted
We tried condoms both him and I aren't fans. He's ok with contracting the virus. I'm the one that isn't so ok with it. It's his body and his choice however so I will live with his decisions. He just keeps talking about wanting to give me oral and I don't want to pass it onto his mouth. I'm reading conflicting things about it so..I said shoot why not ask the people who know. As far as anti virals my doc isn't in board with me taking them every day only when I have a break out. I've gotten natural things to try however. Thanks for your response!
FelizCastus Hatefulex2008
Posted
Only the daily meds reduce shedding and thus transmission risk, so I'd find another doctor if you really don't want him to get it. At least that's one of the two main risk reduction methods you can do, since you both don't want to use condoms. Natural supplements are essentially useless when it comes to reducing shedding and transmission, so they won't help in that regard. I'd be more concerned that he's going to get it genitally than orally, tbh.
YoureNotAlone Hatefulex2008
Posted
Hatefulex2008 YoureNotAlone
Posted
Oh I know how bad they hurt and he was with me every step of the way with my very first OB. He saw the pain. I think he's dumb for his decisions but they aren't mine to make. He's a grown man and knows his own head so..
maddy5683 Hatefulex2008
Posted
i wouldn't think oral would be out of the question. i have read that if he contracted it in the genital area he is less likely to also get it in the facial region. i have spoken to my doctor so much about this and he said if there isn't an outbreak there is a very low risk for everything. if he is happy to contract the virus and knows the risk he is an amazing guy and i hope i find someone like that one day!
as long as you know not to have sex when you have any signs of the bumps recurring and if you really want to have sex make sure you use a condom, he may never get it.
Hatefulex2008 maddy5683
Posted
He is amazing! I hope you find someone like him too!! Thank you for sharing your docs wisdom. My docs secretary told me my results over the phone and that was it no discussion about anything. So I'm learning what I can from people who have it and google. There's so much conflicting information out there!!
maddy5683 Hatefulex2008
Posted
aw thank you!
it's okay when my first doctor told me i had it she legit said take the valtrex that's all you can do and gave me a print out of information... i balled my eyes out as soon as i left crying to my mum and we have a family doctor and she rang him straight away and he was like wtf don't think it's a bad thing at all. he said its more common then so many people realize but because no one talks about it no one knows.
he said he has couples a lot older then me (i'm 22) that are married and the female has the virus and he doesn't have it. he said as long as you take the valtrex when you have the outbreaks and wait till the heal to have sex you will honeslyy be fine just live your life. i'm not sure if your taking valtrex but i would try it while you have your outbreaks if your not already. he told me to take it 3 times a day for 10 days during the outbreak so if you like maybe do the same if you have one
my doctor honestly made me feel normal again after hearing everything he had to say.
i hope one day this social stigma around herpes doesn't define a person as being "disgusting" or s**t like that.
i try and look at it that i'm not dying i'm not going to die from it it's just a virus that might hardly ever recurre and they say the first is always the worst and our body helps fight it off more and more over the years. xxx
Hatefulex2008 maddy5683
Posted
I agree with you about society's stigma towards it. I've slept with 4 people and I'm almost 38. All of which have been long term relationships. That by no means catergorizes me as a slut that society makes us out to be. She gave me valtrex I'm just afraid to take it because some of the side effects don't sound so appealing and I'm the type of person if a side effect is listed I'm going to get it lol. I haven't told anyone other than my closest friends. If I told my parents they'd go ballistic. So far I've only had just that one OB so hopefully it goes dormant for a while. Take care!!
maddy5683 Hatefulex2008
Posted
i'm the same i don't sleep with people usually unless i'm in a relationship with them and the one time i decide not to i get herpes (karma) haha.
people said so many bad things about valtrex and the side affects but i honeslyy have had none!! maybe give it a try on your next outbreak and if you get a side affect stop straight away. i had only one painful blister and within less then a week of taking valtrex it has gone!! healed completely! honestly i think you should give it a go, you never know until you try really.
my mum has been so so supportive my dad would kill me haha and i'm too scared to tell my friends haha so we are in a way different there but good luck with everything it's always good to feel like your not alone in this situation. ! xxx
Hatefulex2008 maddy5683
Posted
Mine came from my ex cheating husband! Nice eh? You think because you're married you're safe..nope!!!
Maybe I will give the Valtrex a try. It's nice to know I can come here and talk to people who understand what I'm going through!! Take care!!
FelizCastus maddy5683
Posted
Hatefulex2008 FelizCastus
Posted
My doctor didn't give me a picture at all. The receptionist called, told me my results and that meds were being called in and that was it. I'm learning as I go.
FelizCastus Hatefulex2008
Posted