Husband distancing himself from me, what can I do?

Posted , 4 users are following.

I'm not officially diagnosed yet, but with all my symptoms it's looking like I have Lupus. I'm getting worse all the time and am praying for a cancellation so I don't have to wait 2 1/2 months to see my doctor. In the meantime I feel like my husband is distancing himself from me. I don't want my health problems to come between us. My problems feel so intense sometimes maybe he doesn't want to add his own worries to mine? (It's actually nice to hear about his day and be able to show compassion to him!) On top of which he doesn't seem to want to be intimate with me anymore. I'm sure I understand his reasoning, he doesn't want to hurt me... But, maybe I'm too emotional these days or feeling insecure because I've gained 80 lbs on 3 years, but it feels like he's not interested in me anymore. Whenever I want to be close to him, physically or emotionally, he clams up and literally pushes me away. It feels like I'm dying. And it feels like since he can't cope with that possibility he's trying to let go of me sooner rather than later.

What can I do?

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Kathryn,

    1st of all try losing the weight that you have gained, I too struggle with my weight and I know how it makes me feel. I have joined w/w and lost a stone so far. Try not to focus so much on your illness take small steps everyday that will help you feel better about yourself. You can still do stuff in moderation.  Talk with your husband about what he is feeling right now, and assure him that you will be ok but some days you may need him to step up and help out.

    Regards,

    Mandy

  • Posted

    The feeling of rejection must make you feel even more distressed than you already Do, having to cope with your symptoms.

    You need to focus on your health. In order to do that, it's essential you surround yourself with positive loving and understanding people.

    Having a husband that's withdrawing his affections is only going to hinder your recovery.

    Please do not underestimate the effects that stress has on your wellbeing.

    Express your inner fears and concerns with him and be aware that his response MAY not be one that reasures your uncertainty.

    Do you have anyone in your life that you can go to for support?

    Take care of yourself first...x

  • Posted

    Hi kathryn,

    My heart goes out to you and your situation, but worry and stress will not help your health. If you end up being diagnosed with a chronic health condition, you're going to need all the support you can get. For now you and your husband should talk and be honest about both your feelings and concerns as well as his.  If your husband loves you, he'll be supportive. 

    Best wishes

     

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.