Husband Doesn't Understand

Posted , 4 users are following.

Hello.

I've dealt with anxiety and panic attacks since I was 14. It started with a phobia of throwing up and then it was just a phobia of something wrong with me or I was dying.

I haven't had one in a long while. And I had a control over it until I got food poisoning recently. I had a panic attack last night and I was all anxious so I woke my husband up at 11 at night. He seemed irritated that I woke him up. I really just needed him to help calm me down and talk me through it. Instead he told me it was just anxiety. And just the way he talked about it make me feel alone in it and that I was stupid for talking to him about it. And I'm still upset about it today. He came home from work and he knew I was still mad about it and he told me to get over it.

I don't know what to do. I feel so alone in it and that I can't come to him now for it. When he does stuff like that I feel like it pushes me away from him. Any advice? Clearly talking about it won't help.

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • Posted

    hmmm im sorry that happened to you. has it always been difficult to talk to him or confide in him? please don’t feel stupid that you tried to talk to him. It’s only natural that a wife would go to her husband when she needs support and vice versa.

    thats important in a marriage.

    have you ever told him how it makes you feel when he does that?

    So what I’m saying is when you talk to him, put the emphasis on yourself and how it makes you feel. That way he won’t get defensive. and he might think about what he said to you.

    do you have any family or friends you could confide in? That would be very helpful for you. if not, and he always makes you feel that way, you could get some counseling for yourself and how to deal with this. It always helps to have somebody to talk to who will listen to you. Take care of yourself!

  • Posted

    Hi Alena. I hope you felt better now.

    I understand how this feels when somoene dear to you do not understand and you wish you can make them. The truth is sometimes they just need to be educated on what and what not to say to a person having anxiety and depression.

    When i first have anxiety and seeking help , i get my family members, colleagues and best friends to sit down with me and explain to them. At the same time tell them what helps me calm and what not to say when im having an attack.

    It took them awhile but after that , they have been nothing but the best support system.

    Maybe you and husband can have a dinner date while talking about this.

    Hugs x

  • Posted

    I am sorry that this happened, Alena.

    You know, no matter how much people around you try to have empathy and understanding, they don't always know how to deal with these situations.

    I understand that you may have felt abandoned by him in some way, but I don't think he meant any harm.

    I think you should try again to talk to him openly and talk about how vulnerable you feel in these moments of crisis. If up to this point the dialogue hasn't worked, try a different approach. Maybe a three-way conversation with an expert or watching an informational video together.

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