Husband (possibly bi polar) out of no where asked for divorce

I'm not even sure where to start. I guess I just need support and validation for what I'm going through as I was blindsided and hit with all of this out of no where.

My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years and have been together for 6 we have 2 kids (1 step daughter to him ,1 baby together 9 months old). I personally have been struggling with post partum depression, anxiety, and rage, but other than the normal usual stuff associated with post baby and that type of mental health stuff his and my relationship have been great like usual (we are VERY close and are best friends and love spending time with eachother and typically communicate quite well.) . I had and have been very depressed and didn't notice much strange behavior from him (I was just informed he told someone close he was struggling with depression over the winter and after), but I did notice he was a bit down. So he was in a wedding party as a best man recently just over a month ago it was just a trip up north with a group of guys half sober half not (my husband at the time had over 2 years of sobriety not with great support or a program, but he was sober). after that trip he came home excited about all the new friends he made, he decided to take up golfing and seemed refreshed. then he told me he smoked like 2 packs of cigarettes while on the trip (we both had almost 2 years of not smoking) I was not upset, I was supportive and he didn't smoke anymore after that.

inbetween that time and the wedding (about a month) he started reading a book about time management, vowed to do better at home with cleaning and taking care of stuff, and helping me with the baby since I had been struggling so much (previously working full time from home while taking care of 2 kids, 2 dogs, cooking, cleaning, etc. by myself with PPD). He started eating better, working out again, going for walks every morning (good stuff!!) working was going great (new job he was adjusting to and had a rocky start, but he was feeling more energized about it). I was having a lot of anxiety one weekend and took some of it out on him, we talked and said we needed to make some changes, having a pandemic baby left me and us very isolated and we have not been on a date in a VERY long time probably a year and a half. so we were talking about what we can do to make that happen.

a week later is the wedding he was in, I could not attend due to us deciding because our son had not been baby sat yet we didn't want to leave him for so long and at bed time. same with the rehearsal dinner it was late and I stayed home with the baby. the rehearsal dinner he told me he would be home at 9:30 or 10 pm he didn't get home until almost midnight (this has been a recurrent issue with us. he says I will be home at X time and he doesn't come home until 1-2 hours later). we fought and talked and went to bed. next day was fine, then the next day was the wedding he got home and I had realized that he didn't call to talk to our son and say hi, goodnight, how are you at all that day so I was very upset with him and we fought really bad that night about him not having his priorities in order. the next day we barely spoke and that night he said he wanted space and said I've been treating him really badly and wanted to go to his dad's house. I asked him not to go and just to sleep on the couch and I said I was so sorry and took some time to think about my actions. the next day things seemed okay in the morning we talked and seemed okay. later that evening he told me he doesn't know if he wants to want to work on our issues and he is really upset with me and he wants to go to his dad's for some space and he is thinking about getting a divorce (this is something he has always and recently stated he never would want or do) I had a panic attack due to the sudden shift and what he was saying and he stayed that night. I took a look at my behavior over the last couple months and wrote him an amends and worked with my sponsor (I have 9 years sober). so he went to his dad's for space, but said he wants to come home in the morning and at night after work to be with me and the kids because he still loves me he wants everything to be "normal" just he needs space at night. he disconnected completely from me and had very weird behavior (saying he was going out to eat with his dad at a very late hour not coming home in the morning at the time he said and he seemed off) I asked if he had been drinking and he told me no. a couple days later I ask him to come home to take care of his kids, dogs, house, responsibilities, etc. I suggest him sleeping on the couch or in a different room, he says no. I make my amends he appreciates it it went well. we were supposed to go out on a date also to reconnect as a couple, he wasn't feeling well so he cancelled the next day we were supposed to go. I got home to get ready for our date and he tells me he relapsed and was drinking those couple days I had suspected. he also said he isn't ready to go on a date. okay fine (I'm being mindful of my responses since I know I have not been great due to my PPD).

The next day we reevaluate him coming home. he says he does not want to come home still he needs another week. I reluctantly agree (what am I going to do he doesn't want to stay) he also decided he wasn't going to come over to our usual family party on the 4th if July because he didn't want to see me.

a couple days go by and he has refused to read any articles about PPD, He refuses to discuss our marriage and our problems, and we are talking and he won't even look at me, then I ask what he wants if he is even trying to work on coming home he tells me he wants a divorce. he says he has been unhappy in our marriage for years (we haven't even been married for 2 years) so I go through a timeline with him and he says he's been unhappy with me for a year (a year ago was mid pandemic, and I was also pregnant he also NEVER said anything about being unhappy or with us having issues so I'm not sure what to believe). I asked where thus was coming from and he said he has been unhappy with me and he knows it isn't fair. I ask about counseling and working on our issues, he refuses and says he is just done there is nothing he wants to do. I suggested we watch our wedding video and he was emotionless about it. and when I see him it is like there is no one in there the only time I see emotion is when he sees my son and even that is mostly hollow (so not like my husband he is an amazing and loving husband and father).

he is living with his dad right now (who has been divorced af least 4 times and who enables him compeltely) so I'm afraid he is being fed divorce encouragement from him. he currently works with my dad (and was working to be a partner in the company) and my dad noticed the last month he loses track of what he is doing, he will start one task, and then move onto another one and will go to the store with a list of items needed buy 1 and then proceed to go to the store 5 times during the day. I have gone back and looked at our text messages and Facebook interactions over the last few months and have messages from him telling me he never wants to be without me, how I am the love of his life and the most important thing to him now suddenly he wants a divorce with no attempt at fixing things. everyone in my family and people I have spoken to are SHOCKED at what is going on. also he had an "episode" like this when we first started dating he stopped taking medication (for anxiety and depression) and started drinking and broke up with me while he was spiraling. he has not been diagnosed with bi polar, but some of these behaviors seem spot on and he is 25 which I know is a common age for these things to come about.

just looking for any support, help, advice, as I am worried for him and he has completely pushed me away and I don't want to lose my husband. if he truly does not want to be with me I will live with that, but it is just not him and I don't know what to do.

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