Husband type 1 diabetic

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my husband was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in February / March, he is 45yrs old and a chef. We have so far managed to keep his blood sugars between 4 and 7 most of the time, the doctors etc seem happy with that. The problem now is he has become bad tempered with both me and our dogs and, even worse at work. He won't walk the dogs with me, he doesn't finish anything he starts eg we have a Motorhome which he started taking up the carpets and putting down Lino plus fixing a hole I accidentally put in the roof. Both jobs are left half done, he says he will do them but doesn't. I'm not a wife who nags I will ask twice then do it myself, trouble is I can't do these jobs myself. Last year we went away most weeks, we take the dogs and head off for a couple of nights, this year we've been away twice last time just before Easter. I don't know whether he feels ill or tired or what else could be wrong and he either doesn't know or won't say. If it's his health that's the problem then I'll sell the motorhome and stay home it seems a shame to pay insurance on it but only use it a couple of times a year. I'm hoping someone with experience of Diabetes can give me some insight into how he might be feeling.

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  • Posted

    I do feel for you. My son was diagnosed 10 years ago.  It is so difficult to know what is going on if the person concerned is not a communicator.

    Luckily, my son has an office job so chooses how much physiical activity he takes.  Could I suggest joining JDRF wwhich keeps you in touch with research that is going to find a cure.  Ttthey do an enpppormous amount of fund raiiiising which puts you in touch with local families with the same problem.  Also, some health authorities run week long courses in which clients learn to adjust thheeeir insulin doses to the amount of actiivity they do and what they eat. The courses are called  Dose Adjustment For Normal Eating(DAFNE)

    Best wishes, Ann

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    • Posted

      Hi Ann, sorry I haven't replied sooner I don't want hubby to know I've asked, he is so moody I'm not sure how he would take it.  He doesn't want to join any groups, doesn't want to talk, just seems to have stopped everything. I'm disabled not severely but I have problems with tiredness and mobility so I can't go out on my own plus we live in an area which is right next to the M6 yet there is one bus a day which returne after three hours making life difficult. Since his diagnosis he hasn't wanted to walk the dogs, go to the shops or go away for a few days. I can go for a short walk with one dog, maybe two but over the years we've acquired five, all wonderful dogs, very easy to manage but they need to get out. On top of that the Motorhome is sitting there costing money. We had a row yesterday because he's been past over for promotion again, it's all due to his attitude toward people. On top of that he's accepted a demotion to breakfast chef with a cut in salary and no chance of going away excep one week in October. His reason for accepting this is that he doesn't want to work with another chef because he doesn't like him, how childish, I'm afraid I lost my temper with him. On top of that it is two years today since my dad died, I asked him to book the day off months ago so I don't have to spend the day on my own but he hasn't bothered as usual. We are supposed to be going to Mull in September into October to see our eldest, our Grandson and newborn Granddaughter , because he didn't book the time off last year when we got back from Mull he can only have a few days!

      i am so sorry Ann, I've really gone on, take care x

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  • Posted

    I wonder if he is frightened!!  That can make some people react in this way.  It is a very frightening time when you are first diagnosed and can take some considerable time coming to terms with this condition.  Maybe he needs to talk to someone else about this condition.  Maybe your surgery can offer him a desmond course where he can meet others with this condition and learn that it is okay to live on enjoy life even with this condition. He will be taught how to deal with many aspects of diabetes and for a while he may need a little extra consideration and understanding.
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    • Posted

      We tried to get him to go to a Desmond course but he wouldn't have it. We have people we both know who have type one but one of them has scared him, it seems he listens to that one more than those who are positive. He is going to get himself sacked if he doesn't settle down, they are very understanding at work, they are a family firm who say their staff are part of the family and so far they have treated him that way, but he is threatening to punch colleagues they won't put up with that for long. He has been told he needs to lose weight but he refuses to try, he won't exercise, he keeps eating bread like it's going out of fashion then complains when his sugars are up. On top of the diabetes his Granma has  told him his grandfather and all his brothers died of heart disease plus his own brother died at 33 of heart disease. I'm trying to help and I refuse to nag but I am running out of ideas and patience. Thank you for listening, I think I'll try again this afternoon to get him to go to Desmond or maybe speak to a friend of mine who is a diabetic dietitian but she works in a different area for the same trust.

      Thanks again

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    • Posted

      It is so difficult when it is your husband.  Maybe you could have a word at the surgery and get them to help you and maybe talk to him.  The anger is definately some people's way of dealing with something that frightens them.  You are right he needs to deal with all of this as soon as possible before it affects his work.  I think he needs to talk to a dietician or diabetic nurse. Good luck I know this will not be an easy time for you.  We are all here on this site to help anyone and to help ourselves so if you need to off load feel free.
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    • Posted

      Thank you Chrisy I will try the surgery, we've seen a dietician but it was very strained everything she said Dan already knew, he is a chef so knows food and what he should and shouldn't eat.

      thank you for your help x

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    • Posted

      Now I think I get it.  I was a cookery teacher.  In my experience Chefs and others in the trade usually love food.  Like to try everything and do not like to restrict their intake.  I feel for him.  I had to fix my attention on other aspects of food so I began to teach about healthy eating and cooking healthy food trialling different things.  I often find myself though in the kitchen wishing I could wiz up a batch of cupcakes all nicely iced with buttercream.  Had to work out other ways to satisfy that urge. x
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