Hypochondria/cardiophobia is ruining my life!
Posted , 25 users are following.
Hello everyone I've posted before about suffering from palpitations and nocturnal panic attacks. For the past 2. 5 months I'm waking in the middle of the night screaming for help. I know it might sound ridiculous but it's not planned it just happens. Needless to say that my heart is racing and i have this strong feeling I'm about to die from cardiac arrest. I've tried meditation, xanax, magnesium supplements beta blockers. They haven't resolved my problem.
I've been to 5 cardiologists and 4 of them told me it's just panic. The fifth though insisted it could be inappropriate sinus tachycardia. I've talked to a friend who's a neurologist and he insists it's POTS. All my ekgs (I have like 35 of them), holter, ecgs suggest short term incidents of intense sinus tachycardia it's usually around 150-175 bpm while my blood pressure remains low.
I've recently made the mistake to Google my symptoms and I visited a website talking about arrhythmias. Even though my 48 hour holter did not suggest any of them I'm gravely scared I might get a lethal arrhythmia called Ventricular Tachycardia. My doctor laughed when mentioned it to him. But every time my heart races I'm scared it's going to switch to a ventricular rhythm (due to tee fact that my heart beats really really fast) and I'm going to die right on the spot. Its the worst, most debilitating phobia I've ever had. Does anyone know if its possible to get ventricular tachycardia? My exams show I'm a healthy yet very anxious 23 year old girl. I'm a bit underweight yet I don't drink and I don't smoke.
1 like, 24 replies
Italia06 penel9704
Edited
the title implies it all...hypochondria. it doesn't sound like POTS either and this typically occurs from reclined to standing position and then symptoms usually resolve once you lay back down. if you're waking up to a panic attack from a dead sleep then it certainly appears to be anxiety induced. you've given us all the physical symptoms with your age, above all, is certainly in your favor along with being underweight. yet, nothing about what might be causing this vicious cycle of worry/hypochondria/physical symptoms like anxiety or stress.
i used to wake up out a dead sleep in panic attacks. worrying about my heart rate would cause tachycardia so intense it felt like my heart was going to pound out of my chest. elevated blood pressure with tachycardia would be worrisome especially if high, but yours is low. this would suggest panic attack(s). ecgs in particular would've spotted something seriously wrong. if your worried about your heart go see a cardiologist and get a nuclear stress test.
has this always been an issue with you? have you gone through major life changes recently...school, job, relationship etc...? none of our business but is valid with regard to symptoms coinciding with life events. anyway, it appears you are a very anxious healthy young woman. good luck.
penel9704 Italia06
Edited
Thank you for your reply. The truth is I've always been anxious. However a couple of years ago I suddenly suffered a panic attack. It was the second month after I had moved to a bigger city to go to college. Perhaps that change caused anxiety. But ever since that time I've become super aware of my heartbeat and I try to monitor it 40 times a day. When I'm completely relaxed it's usually around 65-75. But when I get anxious even slightly it jumps right up to 100-110. I'm scared of exercising because I don't want my heart rate to elevate even further. I know it's irrational but last time I was at the gym (5months ago) I got lost in the moment and started sprinting on the treadmill while I was listening to some upbeat music. Then I randomly checked my pulse on the monitor and it was 180.i got super panicked. The trainer had to calm me down explaining it was normal and that maybe I overdid it.
The problem is no matter what people say (including my therapist) I only get temporary confirmation. After a couple of days or even hours I start to worry all over again. I literally had to take a year off college to deal with it, because it is practically impossible to join classes anymore.
Italia06 penel9704
Posted
now it's starting to add up, especially going off to college. this sounds like a typical case of health anxiety. 65-75 relaxed heart rate indicates a very healthy heart. yes your train of thought is irrational, but it's what epitomizes health anxiety - irrational thoughts. work as hard as you can to take the daily edge off. i'd continue to exercise as difficult as it is. maybe look into your diet. is it high in refined carbs? sleep has a major impact as well. again, exercise...go on long walks if sprinting gets the heart rate too high to where you panic. be rational with yourself when you do go on long walks and it's easy for you and your heart rate doesn't spike.
above all, if you have interests you enjoy continue to do them no matter how difficult. personally, i became so exhausted with worrying i got to the point where i didn't even have the energy to worry anymore. this is where i saw progress. i was so mentally drained i didn't care anymore about the odd symptoms anymore. i had developed a 'if i die - oh well' mentality which lead to less panic. this occured naturally on it's own as if my body had had enough. a month or two goes by then i realize that my physical symptoms were nowhere near what they were...and many days didn't notice them at all in such a sort period of time. i had thought the worst when it came to serious conditions and with a drastic change in my symptoms it became obvious those conditions weren't likely and it became glaring how irrational my thinking was.
again, continue to force yourself to do stuff. go on long walks. keep up with your interests. you'll eventually realize anxiety is entirely plausible in your case and that it's capable of manifesting many unpleasant symptoms beyond comprehension in many cases. it appears you'll get past this. good luck.
hypercat penel9704
Posted
You need to stop monitoring your heartbeat constantly as this is only feeding into your anxiety. You have had the tests and you are fine. Instead of googling Dr Google, where you can go from a mild headache to dead in 3 clicks, research health anxiety online instead. There are lots of great videos on YouTube for dealing with your symptoms.
Also recognise that heart disease is much more common in those over 50 due to smoking or other bad lifestyle choices, or just because your heart can get less efficient with age generally.
david76205 penel9704
Posted
it sounds like mega anxiety and i would call a psychiatrist to help you as the cardiologists are not going to know what to do to help you. sounds like a little OCD as well. but you will be fine once you call the psychiatrist. we all over think and over analyze our symptoms. you are not alone and medication can help you curb this anxiety. its not an over night fix but it WILL help you. so you are on the right trail, just not the right path. call a psychiatrist ASAP. you may not be able to see one person to person for awhile but phone and video conferences are available for some psychiatrists. if it gets really bad in the mean time, use your xanex. depending on the dosage (no more than .5mg) you can double up if you need to. it will most probably make you extremely tired but it will stop the panic.
stephen60834 penel9704
Posted
With the amount of cardiac tests you've had, you should be almost 100 % clear of any cardiac issues. This does sound like health anxiety.
I recently had 6 ECGS, Cardiac Enzyme Test, Full Blood Count, blood pressure checked and blood sugars... Everything all came back fine. The big one for me was the cardiac enzyme test, as its super sensitive and if something was wrong with me heart, it would show up there! Thankfully, I'm at peace with the idea that my heart is fine. I trust the healthcare professionals.
My experience was triggered by squeezing sensation in my left chest. Apparently, I could have costochondritis or GERD... Ive noticed the issue has lessened since I started to eat a little healthier, drink plenty of water and exercise. Also, try calming techniques like mindfulness. Maybe even try dietary choices to help anxiety like chamomile tea or CBA oil.
I hope you're able to break this circle you're in. It can be horrible but you'll be fine.
MILAO penel9704
Edited
Hi, I am also 23, female and suffered the same as you.
Last year i was carted ff via ambulance TWICE due to suspected stroke/heart attack.
Needless to say after being admitted into the hospital and COUNTLESS tests I was cleared of both. I went through testing with the NHS and privately. I saw 3 Neurologists because I was convinced I had a stroke and would collapse and die from a stroke any moment. I had 3 brain scans done because I could not accept it was just anxiety. That was almost a year ago & I am still here alive & kicking.
After this happened to me my anxiety became so extreme. I would wake five times a night, heart pounding, vision blurred, tingling, screaming & crying for an ambulance declaring i was having a heart attack or stroke.
I lost two stone, could not function, never left the house, fell into a deep depression and became mentally unwell. I would have panic attacks 5 times a day and during the night.
I would jolt awake for two hours (hypnic jerk) before eventually falling asleep only two wake again a few hours later with a full blown panic attack.
I developed muscle twitching, muscle jerks, migraines, fast heart rate, insomnia, blurred vision, tingling and more.
This was purely all down to ANXIETY! Because i was so scared of having some sort of stroke or heart attack my body became chronically stressed and my nervous system went haywire. I eventually began to reduce the anxiety and slowly my symptoms began to fade.
I am not "cured" and i still experience occasional anxiety specifically health related but I am doing heaps better. I even purchased an at home ECG machine because I was so worried about my fast heart!!
Honestly, if you have been cleared by all of these doctors you need to listen to them. Trust me when I say anxiety can cause an insane amount of symptoms and a fast heart rate is EXTREMELY common! Your nervous system is on high alert 24/7.
My heart rate when anxious can reach 135bpm them return to normal 75 when not anxious!
When working out my heart is 175 when running. Totally normal.
If i go from sitting to standing it goes from 75 - 100
All normal.
Honestly there are so many people in your position, you arent alone!
penel9704 MILAO
Edited
Thank you so much for your reply. The problem is my parents are not supportive anymore. They believe I do that on purpose and that really hurts deep. I woke up today at 4.50 am and my heart rate was 185. I thought I was dying... My mother started yelling at me. She started accusing me that I'm doing it on purpose. It was so hurtful! My heart rate accelerated even further. Because of all those words she said to me. I really want to leave this house but it was initially my mother's idea to move back to my parents home so we could fight it together. Unfortunately they're fed up with me. I partly understand them. I'm too sick of my self. Therapy only offered temporary help. I don't know what to do anymore. My parents don't support the idea of going to a psychiatrist. My aunt works in a psychiatric ward and she told my mother that psychiatric medication is a vicious circle. I'm at the point where I'm homebound. I can't even get out for a walk. My heart rate accelerates even at the slightest anxious thought. In the past I also contemplated suicide but then I got it off my mind. I guess I'm too scared to die. Anyways I'm sorry about this ramble. I just felt the need to spit out some portion of my pain.
david76205 penel9704
Edited
Well, parents sometime dont understand. And this is a problem that happens a lot on this forum. And because you are a minor, you can not do anything without parental consent, so this must add to your anxiety and i am so sorry for that. It maybe worth seeing a therapist, you and mom & dad, so the therapist can explain to them that anxiety is a very real disorder and they are not helping the situation by not supporting you. Grown ups tend to listen better to other grown ups especially if one is an expert on the subject. But before you take this any further you got to try and get them back on board. Remember, its not your fault and you did not ask to feel this way. It happens, its life. I dont know what to tell you if you cant get them back in your corner. Your options are limited as you cant see a doctor and get medication for anxiety without their approval. Your anxiety is only going to get worse if you dont address it now. I have raised 3 boys all with ADHD, and they lost their mom three years ago to Alcohol and drugs. They broke down a one of them I had to put into a hospital for two weeks to address his anxiety problems. And then subsequent out patient therapy for months. It really helped him and i am proud to say he has fully recovered and doesnt need meds. But i never once doubted him. Did you give your parents a reason to doubt you? or was it just the impact of all the different tests they paid for with negative results? Sometimes parents have a hard time admitting their child is sick, in the brain, or otherwise. They think its a refection on them and their parenting skills. You need to convince them that this is about you. I think this would be easier with another adult on your side to help you explain to them. Maybe a grandparent or aunt who is sympathetic to your pain? Anyway, you are not going to die, and you are not alone. So write back when you can and let me know how you are making out.
MILAO penel9704
Edited
You are welcome. I used to come on here a lot during my worst times, it really helps to speak to others who are going through/gone through the same thing. Not everyone is going to understand you, especially not those who have never experienced mental health. Anxiety is complex, remember anxiety is deeply connected to the nervous system. Right now you are fearing your own body (mainly your heart) so your brain zeroes in on your heart because you are perceiving it as something to be fearful of. So now, your brain is hyper aware of the heart beat. You then become panicked which then in turn switches on your fight & flight response which then gets the heart pumping. Believe it or not this would have saved your life back in hunting times, you would be more equipped to fight or flee from the danger. Its a vicious circle, the more you fear your heart rate the more it will speed up. You have to remember all those times you "thought" you were going to die..you are still here! It did not kill you. All of those doctors have confirmed you are healthy. Having anxiety especially health anxiety causes hyper awareness of bodily sensations, I feel every tiny movement in my body EXCEPT when I am distracted or busy, this speaks volumes. Honestly I know first hand how awful and isolating it can be. You have to live in the moment and realise that you are here today, make the most of it. None of us know when our time is up, you just have to try and live one day at a time. One advice I wish i had given myself last year is to know that nothing lasts forever! So even though right now you are struggling it WILL get easier believe me, time is a healer!
brooke32889 penel9704
Posted
I’ve been going through things similar to what you described. it is getting worse. i have also always had a little fear blood clots, but now that is becoming almost has become a regular part of my constant panic. Ive called 911 on myself multiple times, they tell me im having a panic attack. i have noticed that even the smallest amount of caffeine (like a couple sips of coffee) will sometimes be enough to give me a bad thought and panic will likely ensue. im in nursing school and im pretty sure im getting worse the more i learn. my last bad episode, i ended up talking myself down by telling myself over and over, it is my hormones making me feel this way. i think some people have a stronger internal response to fear than others. hope you are able to gain some reassurance soon!
nicole21657 penel9704
Posted
If any of you are (which it seems to be) a hypochondriac like me. you will have a million times googled your symptoms and felt like you FINALLY found your cause only to have your doctor tell you that's not it. I didn't know there was a thing as "health anxiety" but it seems i have exactly that.
I am a normal weight 26 yo female and have had anxiety that has morphed and manifested itself very differently since 2014. first social, then claustrophobia, then GERD (burping fits caused by you guessed it anxiety) and now in 2021 I am terrified of having a heart attack or stroke so much so that I cant find it to take simple allergy medication, birth control or lexapro (anxiety med) due to the miniscule upped risk in side effects.
I also often wake up screaming in the night and dont remember it the next day. I had truly never pinpointed that my health anxiety was causing this much stress but to hear you say you suffer from night terrors too really solidifies its cause. It seems a LARGE majority of commenters here are women in their twenties which can be no coincidence.
For anyone who has similar struggles, do you feel your discernment of reality is a large culprit? For instance I fear my perception/ imagination is so out of control that I cant watch scary movies, sleep in the pitch dark, or do any hallucinogenic drugs (weed) because it seems my brain cannot distinguish reality from imagination.
it is beyond calming to know people similar to me struggle with these issues. If you read my whole message thank you ❤️
cheryl83358 penel9704
Posted
im going through similar symptoms and worries. ve had all the same tests and nothing has shown up except episode of sinus tachicardia and told its brought on through Anxiety. your not alone ans i think we are getting ourselfs so wound up over it that its making it 10 x worse. having said this it doesnt help thinking negative constantly
liz77777 penel9704
Posted
im going through this at the moment as well but it is now leaving me paralysed in a chair! literally nothing reduces the anxiety
em2000 penel9704
Posted
wow its so weird to hear other people going through this... I'm also in my early twenties female. After getting Covid with my family and watching my pass out from a panic attack thinking he died, I've now developed such awful health anxiety. It started during finals week in college and I felt overwhelmingly that I was going to die and my heart kept having palpitations, racing, etc.. I ended up having severe panic attacks every night for weeks screaming and crying, having my heart beating so fast, feeling like someone was standing on my chest it was so painful, shaking, unable to think, everything felt like a blur and I wasn't connected to reality. My parents ended up taking me to the hospital as I wasn't able to calm down. I wasn't sleeping or eating. I lost 10 lbs and got charged $500 for the ER visit where they just gave me hydroxyzine and an EKG. My boyfriend luckily had connections in the hospital where he works so he showed a cardiologist he knew, my chart (my hospital is notorious for patients dying/receiving the wrong treatment) and he said that my heart was slightly inflamed which shows up in people who are recovering from covid or underweight. Now I am worried about having a heart condition or deep vein thrombosis although I have no symptoms other than palpations. I ended up getting gastritis from the stress of it all which only made me panic more that something with my heart is actually wrong since everyone told me my stomach hurting was just anxiety. I feel like such a burden going in to the drs as I know there are others that need the treatment over me. I also don't want to be known as the crazy hypochondriac and not be taken seriously if something actually is wrong. I'm facing my fear tomorrow and flying on a plane to visit friends and I'm terrified of getting a heart attack/stroke when I'm no where near a hospital and unable to get help if I need it. Sorry for the vent but I just want you to know that you're not alone. It helps to start identifying what you think about in the day that could trigger these thoughts and combatting them with facts. Another phrase that really helped with my anxiety is saying that "I am okay in this exact moment/second and if I'm not okay, I will get help." Time is your best healer in recognizing that you haven't had anything wrong with you this whole time. I also try to make peace with death as a special experience that connects me with the rest of humanity which I will only experience with myself and I trust myself to care for myself mentally when I go finally go through it. I hope you can get through this! You are definitely not alone and I appreciate you sharing your story as it's validating to someone going through something similar.