Hysterectomy concerns

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hiya Lafies thanks for all your help and advice on my first post to you lovely peeps.

I'm still concerned and have a few more questions that li know you will help me with ,although personal so here goes.

I'm really worried about losing my sex drive it any feeling during sex? I'm so sorry to ask as I know how personal it is. I have been reading stuff on the internet if women who say not to have an hysterectomy as its a very bad decision especially for the bedroom department, this is really really bothering me and won't have the surgery if this is the truth.

The other problem I have is I don't want to gain weight and also read that you can gain up to 3 stone in weight, Dirry for all the questions but I feel I have knowhere els to go and I need to know everything about it before I go through with this surgery it's a big thing after all . Thanks ladies xx

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    You don't lose your sex drive and if you put weight on its only from over eating 
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    • Posted

      You are so wrong.  Go do some research on the internet.  It is just wrong to blame the patient when it has nothing to do with them personally but is a direct result of this surgery, in my opinion.
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  • Posted

    Hi 

    I felt very differently from Lyn. My sex drive plummeted and when I started to have sex again it felt different. I was very wary and didn't enjoy it. It has taken me 6 months to get some sort of feeling back. My husband has been very patient. All I can say now is that sex is different to what it was before.  Enjoyable but not as much as before.  As regarding weight I have put on about a stone. My shape has changed and I struggle to get it off especially around my middle. In saying that it's been great having no periods and I do not regret my decision. 

    I would say that if you are having problems and hysterectomy will,solve them then to,go for it. 

    Good luck

    lee x

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    • Posted

      Remember-I am not a medical professional and this is all my opinion.

      I already addressed the sex thing elsewhere but I want to write about your shape.  It has changed because 1) loss of hormones  2) severing of the support structure that gave you your former shape.

      I hate to break bad news but only a tummy tuck will get rid of that belly shape.  (weight gain is normal after this surgery and almost impossible to lose and I bet you weren't told.  It was never mentioned to me along with a laundry list of side effects that take years to develop.

      Try this: 1) lift up that belly (or "apron" as we inflicted with it call it) with your two hands right underneath it.  Then take your hands away.  Notice how it just drops like dead weight.  This is because its support has been permanently eliminated.

      2) Try to suck in your belly.  I used to do that all the time before my surgery trying to give my core muscles some exercise.  If I suck in now, nothing happens nor do I feel anything except the muscles running down my sides.  Again, without support, the belly cannot move.  I feel a big hole in my middle, nothing else.  Only a tummy tuck can change the shape and get rid of that apron.  And that is considered cosmetic surgery by the male dominated establishment and if you don't have the money to have one done, then I guess we are out of luck.

      Again, this is my experience and after doing tons of research.  You might want to google "cannot lose belly after hysterectomy" and look at post after post of women in the same boat as we are.  I wish I could roll back time....

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  • Posted

    You are right to be concerned.  Everything will be changed after the surgery.  Most women gain at least 35 lbs. (2.5 stone) or more and cannot lose it no matter what since it is tied to the hormone imbalance caused by the hysterectomy.  Solution (and some thing a lot of doctors don't want to do) is to get some kind of hormonal replacement and hope it will help.  Do not believe anyone who tells you it is because of the way you eat and exercise (or don't).  It is directly tied in with the surgery.

    Many women will lose or have a greatly reduced sex drive.  If ovaries are taken, it is castration.  This is why animals have this type of surgery because it greatly reduces their ability and drive to reproduce.

    That said, in my case I've found that a lot can be done with imagination.  When I started having sex again (and still not with full penetration as not only am I scared of vaginal bleeding, but the vaginal cuff shortens the vagina by at least 1/4 inch and often more) the first try was a disaster.  It was like my body was looking for those lost organs.  Gradually I began to use my imagination and pretend everything was the same.  Of course a partner who is willing to experiment while you are doing this is a big help.  The mind is a powerful thing.  Try imagining whatever might get you aroused and over time it might work.

    Sorry to be so explicit but there is no way to talk about this without being somewhat graphic.  I think we are all mature women here and can discuss the issue openly.

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  • Posted

    Goodness what a lot of doom and gloomy answers you have been given, yes your sex drive may (or may not) go for a while and you may (or may not) put on weight, I put on a stone, I dieted and lost it again within a few months exactly as it would have happened before my hysterectomy, it's all a small price to pay to sort out the problems you are suffering now, I agree with Lee when she said things are different and she doesn't regret having the op, neither do I, mind you I had cancer so didn't really have a choice, I would have bled to death by now otherwise. Talk to a professional about your concerns, they will reassure you.

    Good luck

    Phoebe

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    • Posted

      Thank you for replying, phoebe.  I am 3 years out from the surgery.  My weight gain has exceeded 35 lbs. and no matter what I do it keeps going up.  Intensive research across the internet indicates this is very, very common.  Some have gained upwards to 50 lbs. despite intensive exercise and healthy eating.  The weight gain caused one of my knees to have constant pain due to the extra weight bearing.

      I have a laundry list of what happened during the ensuing years: Varicose veins

      Constant constipation 

      UTIs

      Pain throughout my torso that is elicited by just a light touch.

      Extreme dryness

      Extreme mood swings

      Suicidal thoughts

      Cognitive difficulties

      Serious depression 

      Unexplained weight gain unresponsive to diet/exercise

      Huge growth of breasts - and I mean HUGE

      Constant backache from the “jelly roll”-a drop of the abdomen from the cutting of suspensory ligaments and muscles.

      Vision problems with extreme dry eyes

      Panic attacks

      Occasional loss of balance

      Sexual difficulties 

      Nerve tingling and pain

      Severe pain in both lower legs from calves to ankles with no obvious source

      Joint Pain

      Sorry for the spaces, I copied it from a document for a lawyer.

      Again through research, it is being discovered that here in the US doctors are fabricating cancer diagnosis in order to make $$$.  From your description, it sounds like there was no doubt about yours, but mine ended up first no, then yes, then no, then yes.  A tiny, tiny spot on the endometrium.  Treated could have consisted of freezing the spot or even medication.  In fact, doctors in some large medical research facilities are now giving patients the option of the above.  When I asked one doctor why they just take everything out, the answer is "It's the gold standard".  Well times have changed and so should treatments.  They don't remove an arm if a spot of melanoma is found.

      It's just that so many women are never told the full consequences of what will happen.  And I think we deserve to hear it all, not one side.  Didn't do my research beforehand and many scare women with that C word.  A lot of this is due to the advent of the DaVinci Robotic system.  It is a huge, expensive machine and doctors are encouraged to use it, thus bogus diagnoses.  A vein was nicked during my surgery and it starting to bleed out, unknown, until it was so much it actually erupted through a steri-strip and went all over the nurse, the floor, etc.  

      All I'm saying is that too often I see women being blamed for their weight gain etc. when it is not them at all but the major changes caused by this surgery.  The day they take the major male parts from men who have a spot of prostate cancer is when I believe that men and women are treated the same.  

      No one here is giving the other side of the coin, and it angers me to learn of the BS that some health professionals are given.  One can just Google "weight gain or breast enlargement after hysterectomy" and it is amazing what turns up.

      And I haven't even mentioned the greatly increased risk of heart attack after hysterectomy.  It gallops through my family and now I must live with the #1 killer of women.  Not arguing with you and appreciate your writing.  I just want to try and even the playing field, as the phrase goes.

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    • Posted

      Goodness you have really been through the mill you poor thing, I have been incredibly lucky, I had a vaginal hysterectomy not done by Leonardo (da Vinci) I am agoraphobic so had to go to a cottage hospital near here (34 rooms only), since my op I have Never had to take pain relief, that was right from coming around from anaesthetic, the only problem I have had is constipation which is a pain in the b u m quite literally 😃. I agree with you when you say that you aren't told everything beforehand but, we are not all the same and whereas you have obviously had a horrendous time of it most people I have spoken to haven't, I do hope that poor Anne Marie isn't quaking in her boots.
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  • Posted

    Hi

    I think i must be one of the lucky ones.

    Had hysterectomy on 13.4.15 and have lost 12lbs since then.

    Don't get me wrong its not been easy going, i exercise and i watch what i eat.

    My sex drive has not changed one bit and in fact the sex has been better due to the fact i'm not bleeding and in pain all the time.

    I can see what Lost Hearts is getting at but end of day its your body anyone who eats less calories than they burn will not put on weight.

    I also have 2 friends who have had hysterectomys and yes they started to get the belly but they then decided they didn't want to go there so dieted and exercised.

    I also did lots of research about hysterectomies and menopause. On most websites it does state a woman can put on 13 - 18lbs going through either but noted the word can, not meaning you definitely will.

    Its not all doom and gloom and the fact that i can go where ever, wear what ever and am not spening a fortune on sanitary products definitely outweighs a little bit of careful eating and exercise.

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