I am 14 year old and i've been depressed for the longest time and anymore i feel worthless

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I am 14 years old and I have been really depressed since about a year or two ago. i am bullied at my school and i feel so worthless to my parents and teachers. I always try to pay attention in class but my mind gets caught up in other things like my thoughts which most of the time are negative, my grades are dropping i am usally an A/B student but latey since my depression has gotten worse i barely have the energy to get out of bed in the morning and i dread school and socializing sometimes ill get a burst of energy and feel good for a couple of days then its back down to the low and most of the thime its even worse than before. The only time I think i am truly sorta happy is when i am with my three best friends who understand but they all are in the same boat as me. About a year ago I had really bad suicidal thoughts and I started to hurt myself because it seemed like the only escape from the words and all the things i thought then my family found out and they sent my to a therapist who tried to get me to admit that i had tried to kill myself which wasnt true i had thought about it but i never went through with it but now i really wish i had. I just started high school and everything is so much worse i feel so useless i never talk to anyone usally unless i know them or i have to. i always head to the back of class and if people ask if anythings wrong i just lie i feel like i if people saw what was really happening then they would just make fun more. i feel so helpless i feel like its useless to go on breathing but for some reason i do. My parents dont get it they just say that my grades are unexceptable and i should be better they say that im just not the same but they never ask whats wrong or even try to listen they are to caught up with thier lives. my mom works all the time and my dads a pastor the last time i got low they said the reason was because i wasnt being a good enough Christian they never even tried to ask what was wrong my sister was the one  who convinced them i needed help but i cant do that anymore i just feel useless and stupid for not making them happy but how can i make them happy when im not happy. i know that my life could be a lot worse but i feel like im living a lie like noone ever sees my face just the mask all the time and everyday i feel like i cant ask for help because everyone says if you do that youre looking for attention but i need to do something i can barely go around school without feeling dead

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  • Posted

    Hi Melanie, I sorry you feel like this, Its not your fault and is very common but no one seems to talk about it in the open much. Have  you spoken to a doctor? 

    Have you spoken to the school about the bullying? Do your parants know about it?

    I'm glad you have reached out to us and I think there are many people on here that can help you better than me who may reply. For now, do what you can, try not to worry and keep talking as it helps.

    Also are you in the UK? If so please phone child line, they are really nice and will help you.

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  • Posted

    Hey Melanie....I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time.....its easier to let it out than to keep it in....stay strong....you worth much more than u think.....try to talk your parents.....eventhough how hard it is.....and pls don wait for them to ask and tell them....and to those bullies....I was bullied before and what I know is that u have to stand up to them....tell a teacher u trust or the principle....tell them that they are disturbing u....be the voice for everyone....and try to get a group of people who were also bullied to come together to tell the teacher.....there is strength in numbers....never give up.....and plus no matter we are a christian or not.....all of us have problems...and ya I am a Christian and I was bullied to.....but that's what I did.....it was hard but all worth it.....but no matter what never forget....God is with you....he loves and want to help....let him help k....stay safe....Jesus loves you
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  • Posted

    Hello Melanie, It's so sad to know a beautiful young lady like you is going through so much heart ache and pain. You have so much life ahead of you and I know how depression and anxiety can affect people. I suffered it for many years, but I learnt how to help myself. I live in the UK and i went to relaxation classes and chatted to people who could relate to my problem. Then I started meditation and then became a spiritual healer and a qualified Reflexologist. Don't get me wrong I still have my bad days, but I have concord the way to deal with them. Sweetie please try to talk to your doctor and ask if youvcan have help, also be put into relaxation classes and speak to your head teacher and explain what you feel like you have on here. There is a beautiful world out there and it's waiting for you to explore it.
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  • Posted

    Dear Melanie, I am so, so sorry that you are struggling through this on your own... I think that your parents attitude is disgraceful, and the schools also, your difficulties should have been picked up much, much earlier...... you must go and see your GP, write everything you feel ( how you have here ,) you Must get some help in some form... have you a teacher that you trust ENOUGH to talk to ,if so, then please, please do it....

    The Samaritans are also there to talk to at any time, as of course is childline. .. you must get help as soon as possible , one of our sons went through exactly the same as you are,,, unfortunately he became very poorly and had to be admitted into a clinic, at the age of seventeen, we knew he had a problem from the age of fourteen, we went to his school and they were amazing in every way, they offered all the Help they could, at the age of fifteen he refused to attend school, luckily they fully supported this...

    Your parents must !!! Talk to your teachers and your GP with you, if they will not help, you Must, must get help from somewhere now.... my heart so goes out to you, you will be in my thoughts, please don't leave this, you so deserve to be happy xxx Deirdre xxx

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  • Posted

    you have come to the right place here as we have all been there at some point in our lives so completley understand unlike when you try to explain to someone who hasnt experieced it just looks at you strange 

    first go to the school head they must take the bullying serious 

    keep in touch on here as there is always someone here and you can even private e.mail with someone who you can connect to you are not alone smile

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  • Posted

    Hello Melanie,

     If you are a christian remember one thing from the good Lord. He said, Ask and you shall receive! Raching out for help is the answer. There are people who do understand what you are going through. Once you mention the problem to the teachers in your life, they will provide guidance and help you deal with the atrocities you are going through. Bullying is a common problem these days. There are solutions to your problem. Once you mention what you are going through to your parents they WILL be sympathetic and support you. Especially if as you say that your father is a pastor. He will realize that satan is tormenting you in your life. He will pray for you and that will make a diference in your life. Once you have the support of your parents they will be less judgemental towards you. It is the bullies fault that you feel so terrible. It's not your fault. I personally  developped bi-polar illness after brain surgery in 1991. As soon as my wife found out about it she said "I can't stand being around you any more. I want a divorce." She didn't give me time eto heal. YES... there are many judgemental people in this world. But help is just around the corner once you seek help. About myself, thanks to a great therapist, I overcame my depression. Once you are referred to a good counsellor you will be able to fend for yourself. You willl be given good defence habits to deal with the bullying. I will say a prayer for you Melanie. I hope that others do the same. There is strength in numbers. There is a saying in the Bible which goes like this... Where two or more are gathered in my name (Jesus's name) there is Love. Trust in His Love. God bless you in the future.xxoo

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