I am 25 years old and struggle to cope without alcohol. My relationship is on the edge due to this.

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I have been drinking since I was 13 and any social occasion I cannot relax or attend without drinking too much. I drink more days of the week than not. My current girlfriend who I have been with for 9 months has had enough of my actions. I used to be a drug user and ever since meeting her I have completely stopped that. I am in love with this person and really want to stop drinking and make things better. I just dont know how to. It is my last vice. 

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  • Posted

    Hi Sam

    you are probably the same as 60 pct of men.... But men never speak about it.

    if your addicted to alcohol go to drop in,  if your more worried that once you drop the alcohol you will not have a release and be able to party anymore then deal with that. sometimes ppl mistake having a drink and a party as being a alcoholic,  if you have been drinking since a kid as have I you have probably had some of the best and the worst times of you life on booze!   Recognising it now is good,  but don't mistake that your life will be resolved without booze!  Balance is the key kidda, and I have always struggled with it, but giving up a habit will not change who you are, in fact if you are doing it solely for your missus it will do you longer term damage mentally.   Your growing ip mate that's all, don't depress yourself about it,  find a even balance and still enjoy your nights out,  once you make a problem of things you then have to get rid of it,  I suspect at 25 the world is settling down around you and you can't be party boy anymore.   Don't mistake growing up as a addiction,  you need to find a even balance and then continue if you can't find the balance seek a bit of help but don't question what's going on,  your one of he boys and the only boys still boozing it all weekend at 60 are the damaged.

    also remember your missus was prob a party animal with you at some point,  but girls find pleasure a lot easier in growing up becouse that's all they want from when they are born.  Your normal mate,  make it not a problem but still look forward to a good p*** up! 

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  • Posted

    Hi Sam, sorry to hear that your relationship is on a thin line and that you're struggling with alcohol. I was in a similar situation with my ex fiance of 4 years, I thought she would moan or nag or get on my back, I never realised how much I took her for granted and how much she cared enough to try to stop me. I did leave her and I thought it was for my own reasons, but really it was the alcohol that lead us to that point.

    I'm 11 days sober today (Similar age to you) and feel great, no desire to drink what so ever. The only way I found I was able to make the step and stick to it was to be completely honest with myself that I was an alcoholic and it had to stop, I told my family who didn't know (the ex-fiance was the only one who really knew) and made an appointment to see my doctor.

    Different people have different ways I guess, I can only share mine. I would recommend you tell someone you trust, who cares about you and doesn't know and make the commitment to see the doctor. You just need the ball to start moving, commit to an appointment and stick to it, hopefully someone who cares will keep calling you and checking up. I say someone other than your girlfriend as it's probably easy to manipulate your girlfriend and lie to yourself if you've been talking about it for a long time.

    I wish you the best of luck and congratulations on stopping your drug usage.

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  • Posted

    For some reason my earlier post is getting moderatedwink hope they let you see it cos I feel it may help. Just trying to say don't wory mate your going through natural progression from party boy to family man wink
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  • Posted

    Hi Sam

    I know-how you are feeling.I am only o n day 24 of being 'dry' or sober a n d I feel good. Hang in the r e. I d k nth know where you live but I'm in. South lanarkshire Scotland and I saw a poster in doctors surgery for an alcohol & drug self referral nhs service and called for a n appointment mid Feb. They contacted me a day later, we arranged an appointment.

    I was so nervous but hung onto the fact that I was at the end of my tether, I was really ready to stop, I was knackered, hated what I was becoming loved my husband too much to lose him.

    I felt so embarrassed talking to the 2 nursing specialists a bout my drinking but they didn't judge. I told them I was ready to stop not cut down. They advised me about medical detox, medication, support etc. I needed to go through a medical detox to avoid fits etc.

    One week later (1/3/15) I began my detox. We started with blood pressure, breathilse test then they gave me medication and high potency vitamin b & c injection (injection for 5 days). Detox lasts 8 days. I take thiamine& vitamin b complex everyday but more importantly I take a drug called CAMPRAL three Times a day to stop cravings. It works.

    I think I need more help though to make it permanent. I've been referred to psychiatrist to try ANTABUSE. This is a different type of 'deterrent' it can make you very I'll if y out take ANY alcohol. Will let u know how it goes - appointment t o morrow.

    If you can't find an NHS organization like the one I found, call nHS DIRECT TEL NO. 111, ask them or let me know what Part of the country you live in and I will try and help you.

    You are too young for this, your In love, but you will need help, support and reassurance and something else to fill the time spent drinking. You gave up drugs you CAN give up alcohol.

    Hope this helps. Talk soon?

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    • Posted

      HI Haggis.

      YOu can do it!! Great story and great detail and keep going since IT IS WORTH IT!! Did it 2 yrs 3 months ago and regained respect from my family. Keep us posted and all the best to you.

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  • Posted

    Hi sam, I understand exactly how difficult it is to stop, however I do not think that you are near the point of no return...giving up drugs is a tremendous achievement..well done...

    You can become alcohol free with help... I had a really, really, really awful alcohol problem that very nearly killed me....I weighed 5st10lbs and I was only two weeks away from having a heart attack, I had severe liver, kidney, stomach, and nerve damage causing feeble limbs ( I could not even stand ) I also had what I feared most...shrinkage of the brain...

    Twelve years on, I am alcohol free, every sign of damage has completely gone, ....

    I have the most amazing family who never gave up on me, my children saw me crying every single day and they, my brilliant husband, and my own family were heartbroken and terrified that I would die..

    I was lucky. I was put on a section THREE...four times and being held in a mental health hospital literally saved my life...I also made many good friends, and had a wonderfully caring psychiatrist and specialist nurse who became a close personal friend...

    I found it difficult to a very long time ( especially if we passed a pub in the summer ) but I felt so healthy both physically and mentally and the best thing, I actually like myself once more..

    I wish you all the luck in the world, don't end up like I was..alcohol hidden in compost heaps, all over the garden, under the mattress, under floorboards and many other crazy places, I could never remains where I had put them, I would in the garden with a torch as I drank every single minute. I was awake..

    You can do it, you stopped a terrible addiction, you are a young man, you have your whole ahead of you, you will feel so proud of yourself as you deserve to, I am I think very fortunate in one way, after ten years of being sober, I can now have two pints on a Friday night, with no cravings whatsoever....I hope that you will have a happy, healthy, and a totally fulfilled life of happiness and healthy living....good luck young man, big, warm, and lots of hugs to you...take care,..Deirdre xxx

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  • Posted

    hi Sam - fair play to you for recognising you have an issue with alcohol- stopping is quite easy, its staying stopped that is really hard sometimes- but it can be done - it gets way easier with time- life gets alot better- it certainly did for me- i pi....d away half my life before i copped myself on and got help- dont make that mistake- i found going to an addiction counsellor a real help - some go to AA- everyone must find their own path - best of luck - disregard what andyy 33 posted toltal c....p if you didnt think you had a problem you wouldnt be here asking for help - well done again-
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  • Posted

    HI Sam

    Just wondering how you are coping these days. Still struggling with driking or trying to cut down. Try to remember how different life would be: not waking up hung over or with a head ache and not having spent a fortune the last month. I actually finally have a little bit of money in the bank  and not overdrawn. Wait to hear from you and all the best to you since it is not easy to cut down....

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  • Posted

    Hi Sam just wondering how u r getting on i have had a drinking problem since losing my dad and a big part of life l/year so so difficult wish u all the luck x
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  • Posted

    Sam get on Antabuse. All my relationships have failed because of my drinking. One tablet a day and you CANT drink. It saved my life. I was a chronic alcoholic at points drinking seventy shots a day. I've now been sober for close to three years and although I'm still single, my life is on track. Please try it.!
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  • Posted

    And remember, once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. We just choose not to drink. I learnt it the hard way. My parents were alcoholics and I became one as well. I tried reducing my drinking, AA but I could never stop. I could go weeks but once I picked up a glass the following month was an entire blackout. I'd wake up in hospital after having heart attacks. Antabuse stopped me. I was a heavy drinker at 15. An alcoholic by your age. Now I'm 32 and im sober constantly. All thanks to one pill a day. It's not cheap but at least now I'm healthy with memories instead of losing months of my life to blackouts and the horrible effects of detoxing cold turkey. I miss my wine, but I don't miss the sweats, shakes, seizures and severe pain of withdrawal. 
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    • Posted

      Well done Anette and you are a very braver girl and should have a pat on the back every day that you wake up. 3 yrs and no drinking is so impressive. Keep going since you are an inspiration to us all    smile
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  • Posted

    Hi Sam. I can totally relate to what you have said and sorry to hear that your relationship is in turmoil. Always remember, impossible is nothing. At least you have shown the intention to quit drinking, that is a great initial step. I have a friend who had faced a similar situation two years ago. He was so much into drinking that it spoiled not only his personal life, but took a toll on his social life as well. His partner got fed up with his addiction and the relationship had looked to be on the edge. But then with constant guidance and advice, we were able to force him to take up treatment. He went for a one year alcohol abuse treatment at Bellwood Health Services in Toronto which transformed him completely. Not only did he overcome his worst fears, but also it strengthened his relationship. Hence it’s never too late Sam. The most difficult part is to take the first initial step and trust me, things will fall into place. All the very best to you.
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