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I am a 60-year-old female just diagnosed with genital herpes.my partner of 17 months tested negativemy partner of 17 months tested negative how can this be possible?

Posted , 3 users are following.

dawn07330
dawn07330

I don't understand how this could be possible because we have only been together with each other and no one else for the past 17 months. Now I had an outbreak and tested positive. I am 61 years old in June. Only three partners in the past 42 years. How could he have tested negative when we have sex on a regular basis. Oral and vaginal. Should He be tested again in another month or three months. He wants to break it off. I feel awful. And unwanted.

0 likes, 14 replies

14 Replies

  • cartercali
    cartercali dawn07330

    Posted

    If you have only had 3 sex partners in the past 40 something years then you should be able to figure this out fairly easily ..

    And if your current boyfriend doesn't have any visible sores then they can't do a swab test and a swab test is the most reliable diagnosis .

    A blood test can take up to 6 months for the virus to show up in your blood stream ..

    Then again It could've been one of your other partners & the virus has just been dominant in your body for so long ..

    Don't feel bad sweetie ...

    If he wants to break it off then let him go ..

    He should definitely get tested again within the next 3 months and again in another 3 months .. He probably does have it he just hasn't shown any signs of it

    When did you have your outbreak and how long did it last ?

    • dawn07330
      dawn07330 cartercali

      Posted

      Diagnosed 5 days ago. Still sores appearing they heal over and then move elsewhere. On 1 gram of Valtrex twice a day and using expensive cream. I did develop flu like symptoms. I told him to get retested but in the meantime he is distancing himself.
    • dawn07330
      dawn07330

      Posted

      He does have some sores but his dr said not enough to acquire a sample.
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus dawn07330

      Posted

      A PCR swab would catch it. Sounds like he was possibly having a recurrence and gave it to you. Were his sores before, after or at the same time as yours?
  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus dawn07330

    Posted

    How was he tested (IgG, IgM, other) and did he show you his results?
    • dawn07330
      dawn07330 FelizCastus

      Posted

      He said he doesn't know and he threw it out. I know I'm angry about this i'm supposed to see him in a couple days I will confront him again. I even explained to him about the incubation time and I said to contact the CDC if you don't believe me please. I know he cares. Like an ostrich with his head in the sand
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus dawn07330

      Posted

      That's very convenient of him! The thing with the IgG test is that if he had herpes all along, then it should be positive. The 3-month window period (not incubation) only applies in the case of new infections.

      Your outbreak sounds like a first one. How were you diagnosed? If you haven't done so already, do the IgG (not IgM) antibody test asap. If you only caught it from him recently, you will still be negative for IgG due to test window. If positive, then you have had it for at least 3 months, but there's a chance you are negative for the antibodies, in which case you can prove that it came from him.

    • dawn07330
      dawn07330 FelizCastus

      Posted

      Thanks for your information this is very helpful for me to understand but unfortunately he does not want to talk about it so I am confronted with this by myself. I feel so neglected and dirty. I just cannot believe this is happening to me. I have been depressed lately under a lot of stress in between jobs and I lost my mother last year.
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus dawn07330

      Posted

      I'm sorry to hear that, and it's not nice at all with him acting the way he is. If I were you, therefore, I would go and do the IgG antibody test for both herpes types *now*. IgG only. If you are negative for IgG, and there's a chance that you are, then he is your giver and you can throw his attitude (and more) right back at him.

      I do not trust his so-called test, because he conveniently can't remember the details and allegedly threw the results away, but why would a person do that if they're negative? Surely, you'd want to keep the results as proof. Did he even test at all? I seriously wonder. He has sores, you also said. All red flags, imo.

      The window to still test negative for IgG antibodies, assuming you never had herpes before, is small. Although people advise 3 months for conclusive test results, some people start having detectable IgG antibodies earlier, so I would do it within a couple of weeks of your outbreak. You still didn't say how you were diagnosed and by which means, or which type you have. Do you know?

    • dawn07330
      dawn07330 FelizCastus

      Posted

      I had the IGg test and it was positive. Also culture was positive. Lots of sores on me. I went to my gynecologist and also saw the CDC because I went into emergency the second time because my symptoms got worse and I had a fever and extreme body aches. My doctor was concerned that this was going to go into my bloodstream and make me very sick. I was negative for syphilis and gonorrhea and HIV.
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus dawn07330

      Posted

      Oh, in that case, you already had it at least 3 (maybe 2) months prior to the IgG test. Interesting that your partner had sores, though, and why he'd throw out his negative results without showing you. Not sure what to make of that.

      If it isn't from him, then it is possible that you have carried herpes since before him and either failed to recognise previous mild outbreaks (with this one being much worse for some reason) or simply didn't have a first outbreak until now, which is possible but only in around 10% or so of cases.

      Is it Type 1 or 2 that you have? Either way, I hope you get better soon, as it sounds like you had/are having a horrible outbreak! Also, your partner should retest at 3 months. Take care!

    • dawn07330
      dawn07330 FelizCastus

      Posted

      Type 2. But my question is can a person be negative but be a carrier? Just wondering.
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus dawn07330

      Posted

      If tested by IgG, only around 2% of cases aren't picked up. If tested by other means, then there is more of a chance that it was missed. That's why I was wondering which test he had done.
  • burninglove
    burninglove dawn07330

    Posted

    Yes all too convenient that he tested negative but somehow lost the proof. You are clearly having a first outbreak. My guess is he has it, has had it, and is distancing out of guilt for having infected you and the fact that you could probably successfully sue him. His past testing and past prescription history would tell the story, and would come out in a legal action. Plus it looks a little more convincing if he acts like he's the victim here. I have seen this kind of thing happen over and over again. I would encourage you to not be fooled or bamboozled. Trust your instincts. Do your homework. And talk with a lawyer.
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