I am a terrible drug addict.

Posted , 8 users are following.

I started taking drugs when I was 9 with cannabis. First tried heroin at 13 (which I thought was dope!). Started speed, ecstacy and crack and heroin at 15 was on heroin for about two years then went onto speed for around three or four years. Cannabis constant throughout. Esctacy constant too. Then met my lovely girlfriend at 21 and have kinda split up with her at 32. I am currently smoking cannabis daily and taking cocaine pretty much every other day. I work and I function but i'm getting a bit sick of this life. I also work part time as a drugs driver (getting constant free drugs!!!) and realise that's pretty stupid but the whole life is so entrenched I wonder if i'll ever be free or even want to be.

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15 Replies

  • Posted

    It is fun to be high and I was for a long, kong time but what is even better is being completly straight. I didnt find Christ and I didnt go to a treatment center I woke up one day and said to my self, "thats it" and believe me it was great. Another high I had at one time but lost it and now it's back. I dont even drink. I'm not going to tell you what I was into because it doesnt matter Mark. Here is what I think you should do if your serious. STOP EVERYTHING including drinking. Give it six months and stick with it if your not a pussy! Just do it my friend and I know you will see a whole new you and experience things that you never knew existed. It's a real trip. I have been straight for 14 years now and have direction in my life with my wife and three kids. I'm smiling right now Mark becuase I know you will do it.... Keep the faith buddy!
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  • Posted

    hello ,i think if u stop coke ,only weed isnot a prblm . the serious is that you are risk while driving with drugs ... just for curious what mean drugs driver .. u are the person which deliver the ordered drugs from net? 
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    • Posted

      Yea thats right, stop the coke and just smoke weed and if you drive dont do coke. What kind of idiot are you? Thats like saying I drink a half gallon of Vodka every day but I bet if I just cut it back to a six pack of beer I will be just fine!  Mark, just stop all of it or at the very least do it for six months. If you listen to these JACKWAGONS you will be right back to living a life of using every day. Write back so we all can hear what you decided to do and I hope you get your sh*t together bro.
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    • Posted

      To the both of you thanks for responding. I'm currently at the end of a four day coke bender and feel completley f***ed. I can't really talk in any essence about driving anything about but I also work in a normal job as well (in fact i'm a manager!). It's all a pretty crazy setup. I think tomorrow a big sleep is in order, wipe the blood of my nose and have a big think!
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  • Posted

    It's not a crime to say you enjoy the drugs or the highs. I miss the drugs and I'm not afraid to say that but am I glad I stopped - YES !. I lost 15 years of my life to drugs and have been clean for just over two years , but yes ! I still miss them sometimes.They'll definately be days when you're feeling down or just feeling bored and you will crave the sanctuary of feeling numb or chemically uplifted but you have to find a way of dealing with these feelings without relying on the crutch of drugs. Pushing yourself into something new is a great way of coping. If you like the high of cocaine then take up something that gets your'e adrenaline going ? Try geting a natural high out of life , you'll meet new people , have a goal to work towards and who knows what follows after that. At times you might think " why bother stopping " if your'e currently " holding it together " but I haven't met anyone yet who goes through a lifetime of drugs without some major repecussions.I hope you do decide to quit , it really was the best decision I made for myself ( even during the bad times ) Good Luck !
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    • Posted

      Pootle, I understand when you say you are not afraid to admit that you miss the drugs.  My drugs of choice were painkillers, Endone and Tramadol.  I was taking them to medicate my anxiety.  It's been five weeks since I gave them up cold turkey and went on antidepressants and I can tell you now if someone offered me a box of Endone I would not hesitate to take them just to get a break from the anxiety.  I know I'm still in the early days but how did not cope with the anxiety and depression?
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  • Posted

    You've had many many years of drugs fun, give it up man! I know its hard but maybe seeing the real world for a while will do you good and get your head on straight before you take a funny turn. Good luck to you! x
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  • Posted

    Well----What have you decided to do Mark? Pootle 71 really has it together and her post was very good. I feel the same way as far as when I was doing drugs it was fun and I really liked it but being straight is way better..... It's a life choice for sure and if you dont stop right now thats your decision but like I told you before dont be a pussy. Be completely straight for six months and see what I am talking about. You dont want to end up looking like your 80 years old when your 50. LIFE IS A TRIP WITHOUT DRIGS OR ALCOHOL. People at these drug treatment centers are only concerned with their budget and most dont have a clue what the hell they are talking about. I know personally people that work at some of these centers and just because they were once addicted to drugs they are now experts at getting your money and could not find another job anywhere! and couldnt care less if you come clean and in fact they hope you dont because it means more cash for them. It's true! Do this yourself if you have the balls buddy. Let us know how your doing. Keep the faith my friend.
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  • Posted

    Mark, just when you do give eveything up be prepared for the depression that comes afterwards so you don't spiral back into addiction.  Have a plan set as it will take a while for your brain to re-set and for you to truly to start enjoying the natural high that comes from living a clean life.  I think it is the depression that comes when most people get clean that causes most addicts to re-lapse.  I speak from experience.  
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  • Posted

    MARK???????? What happened? Another bender?
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  • Posted

    Mark .... Firstly you CAN do it if you set your mind to it. After having a simular experience to you I can say that herion/methadone is the hardest drug ive ever had to come off. So well done for getting past that part. Ive currently been on just methadone for the last year and I find it rules every part of my life. I stopped smoking cannabis up until about 3months ago which has actually made the whole getting clean off the methadone a lot harder but it just clicked one day that I have totally had enough of drugs ruling my life. I have stopped doing ketamine, pills, acid, everything that you can think of in the past but always for someone else's benefit but it was never far from my mind. I realised this time with getting clean from methadone and herion that it is totally different because I truly want it and am determind to do it. Sure every day is still a struggle but when I think back now to how bad things were I could never go back. If your anything like me with an addictive personality then you need to cut everything that associates with drugs out of your life, change your phone number, move if you can just keep yourself distanced from it all until you feel strong enough to fight it head on. Positive thinking really does go along way and just totally change your routine, something new and in time it will get easier. Much luck
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