I am depressed, hopeless, feeling immense self-loath. Please HELP me?
Posted , 5 users are following.
There are points in our lives from where there is nowhere left to go, all paths seem closed up. I am 19 and feel like killing myself, but am aware that it will only add to the problems.
I have been a ace student throughtout school. So, my parents have always expected a lot from me. the problems began when i couldnt get into my choice of univ (the best one) , but still landed a decent one which wasnt my parents top choice at all. I decided to give another try to that univ but that didnt work out either. moreover i ended up failing in a subject, something that my parents arent aware of yet. i wasnt sailing well at univ but i pulled myself slowly at pace with others. my parents werent too cool about low grades and compared me to other kids. they expect me to get top placements like X/Y's son/daughter. but the truth is i have lost all motivation that i once had, to study, to excel at everything i do. still i give it my best just so i can make my father proud once again.
I have several guy friends, mostly by chance and not some preference of guys over girls. My parents are super-conservative . therefore i dont share these stuff with them. lately I got involved with a friend(trustworthy) of mine and my parents found out about this. now they are super mad at me and accusing me of shaming them and breaking their trust . they have stopped sending me to univ and are threatening to marry me off to some stranger they'll chose for me. I have no choice in the matter, whatsoever.
now, i want to share what my mindset is . I love studying and i have a million aspirations like any other kid. I dont have interest in relationships and i treat sex as an itch . I tried it just to gain a perspective and did it only becoz i knew that person wont ever break my trust or try to abuse me. the only thing i care about is building my future and making my father proud. but there is no way my parents would understand this. they are hardcore purists about the whole sex issue. they think i have become loose, i have no love for my family and no morals.
I love my father. anything i am today is becoz of him. he has always fulfilled my wishes/demands even before i expressed it. my mother has had a tough life bringing us up. i cant love them enough. my last and only wish is to make available every single luxuxry they have sacrificed for us. but they have refused to listen to a word i say.
how do i convice them that this is not a solution but an endpoint. its not easy to change the mindset of a person in a lifetime. i am just a child to them and they just wont listen. help me?
0 likes, 8 replies
boing333 sush98509
Posted
You feel no sense of worth in your life because your life has been lived for other people, and when those other people don't listen to you, neglect you (if you like), give you everything superficial rather than emotional support you need at this time, you have nothing of your own to take comfort in and support yourself.
My advice? Live for yourself; create something for yourself. When you have that, you'll have a reason to live and a foundation to build on.
sush98509 boing333
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boing333 sush98509
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Vickycam sush98509
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boing333 Vickycam
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Bouncyville sush98509
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marieC sush98509
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It is difficult to disappoint those you love, but you must be true to yourself, even if it means that they are disappointed.
It sounds like they are Asian and believe in arranged marriages. It is against the law to force you into an arranged marriage without your consent, if you live in the UK, so I hope they don't try to carry out their threat.
I am not Asian, so it would be difficult for me to advise you, if they are, as they have beliefs and traditions that I do not share.
Many teenagers experiment with sex and although it may seem shocking to those who do not approve, most come to no harm and it sounds like you can take it or leave it. What's done is done.
Your parents are upset, but in time, they may realise that you do not wish to disappoint them and that you love them. Then they may listen to you. Could you write a letter to them? Would they read it or would they tear it up? Is there anyone who could mediate for you with them?
I hope you will go back to Uni, but if not, perhaps in time you could resume Uni, even if it is through the OU. Vickycam managed to do that.
Good luck. It is hard going to go against the set beliefs of your parents, but you may have to do that if there is no other way and make an escape.
richard89308 sush98509
Posted
Richard