I am desperate, 2 Bartholin cysts for 2 years!! 😳

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I have had a bartholin cyst on each side for over 2 years. Over 1 1/2 year ago I went in for it, was put on antibiotics (which failed) and the cuts have never drained, no can I get "wet" for intercours!!!!!

That is 1 1/2 my partner is in happy, and I am in pain during sex. I have a 6 month old, and am pregnant with my second, and am very upset because my on/gyn refused to do ANYTHING while I was pregnant. And just told me to suck it up and use lube.

Now that I am pregnant again I am VERY depressed over the bartholin cysts, I have two . one more infected then the other, it will drain yellow and bloody stuff while in a sitz bath with me pressing on it. But the other side only drains clear mucas while being pushed.

Neither side get "wet" while being intimate, and both sides swell up to a large walnut size after sex.

They are mildly painful, and EXTREMELY effecting my life!!!

I'm so scared I will never get wet again, and that nothing will work. No matter how much I drain then in a sitz bath, they always fill back up and I never get wet while aroused. I am very desperate

1 like, 15 replies


15 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Sunburnt, 

    That sounds terrible!  one is bad enough, never mind 2, and being pregnant! 

    Have you had the marsupulisation procedure on both? Or did they just drain them but the incisions were left to close over again? 

    I had a marsupulisation last week on one side and it's completely drained, if you've not had that done, I'd recommend they do it after you've had the baby or before if they can.  

    Of course they make no promises that they won't come back, but we live in hope that if the area is stitched open that it will stay that way and allow the gland to permanatly drain.  Maybe you could do with a longer course of antibiotics to fight the infection if you're getting yellow puss draining out with blood? 

    I'm so sorry to hear this, it sounds very furstrating and tiring for you. 

    • Posted

      Thank you for the quick reply!!

      I have not had this procedure done, honestly in fear that I won't be able to get "wet" while being intimate with my partner. He already is unhappy as it is, and refuses to use lube.

      I called and made an appointment shortly after posting, will be my 5th one. And I hope this different obgyn will actually do something.

      Might I ask, after the marsupialization, were you able to produce the "wet" while being intimate?

      Were you unable to prior, with the bartholins?

    • Posted

      I only had my cyst for two weeks before it grew so large that I had to go to the hopsital so I'm not sure on the impact for lubrication as yet, however I don't invisage there being much difference as the marsupulisation procedure makes a new opening for the gland so that it can drain not only the fluid from the cyst, but for the lubrication too.  

      Personally speaking, the focus should be on getting you well and back to normal and not worrying about whether your partner will use lube or not.  It's hardly a great difficulty for him, you are the one in discomfort.  

      I hope you get some help from the ob/gyn.  It sounds like you are constantly infected and the glands are unable to drain properly themselves.  Let me know how you get on.  Good luck! 

      PS - where are you in the world? 

    • Posted

      Thank you so much Amy!

      Yes, it is very frustrating since he claims to be the one that has to deal with it not me (eyeroll)

      I am in the US ☺

    • Posted

      I'm sure someone will be able to help you with it. 

      I can imagine that would be very frustrating, you're probably much too nice about it, I'd definitely be telling him who was having a more difficult time of it wink 

      Good luck, let us know how you get on tomorrow. smile 

  • Posted

    I just got rid of mine yesterday by taking serrapeptase a natural enzyme for inflamation. It worked immediately for me. I did read that you're not supposed to take it while pregnant because there hasn't been enough study on effects during pregnancy. Ask your gyno about it. Good luck!
  • Posted

    First off - you need a new gyno. How rude of them. 'Suck it up'. Clearly they don't suffer from a BC and never will.

    I had a BC for 9 years.. With a 7 year break between occurances. I got my first reoccurance after 7 years in March this year & had a marispulation. After all the cysts, I never had an issue lubricating.. Although I only had one gland effected, I don't see it being a problem if both are effected. Even after surgery (I'm now 2 months post surgery and no reoccurances) I am still able to lubrate during sex.

    Your husband needs to be far more supportive. The only problem he has is that he isn't getting enough sex and if that's what is making him so unhappy, then he needs to wake up and realize that his wife is having a difficult time and sex is the smallest blip of the radar of life. I don't get why he is so against bottled lube.. It's lube!

    I suggest if they get too big and painful, to go to the hospital.. Even though you are pregnant they may be able to drain them both under local.

  • Posted

    Hello.. So sorry tto hear of the pain you are going through, this is a very hard thing to go through.. This is a very sensitive area for a woman, just as a man has sensitive areas too. A man wouldnt want to go through anything that would be painfull to his sensitive area, so your husband has to be patient with this situation. It can take some time to get ride of completly. My question to you is how often do you do your sitz baths?? I have been going through this since aug 2014, as of the past few months I have been good. You need support, talk to your husband explain your feelings listen to his.. This is something you have to get through together, it will help if you support each other.. Since you are dealing with this and it is a big pain, sometimes hook him up with some loving. It will make him feel great and you as well because you are understanding his needs too. But it is a two way street he has to have some compassion for you situation too.. Good Luck....
  • Posted

    Oh honey!!! I feel your pain! I have had flare ups 9 times since new years of 2014 - and I am SOOOO sick of this - and it totally affects my intercourse too sad

    Like, where does this come from?? How to prevent it?? "Just unlucky" is all the doc info - blehhh!!! The stats on this is only 2% of women get this, and even a lower amount of women who get it on BOTH sides - BULLS**T!!! I am getting it on both sides now too. And I am 106lbs, have no kids, and cecrtainly don't live in a gutter someplace. 

    I still have one on my left side right now. I can feel it there when I take a shower, and it gets angry sometimes when I have sex too. I am so insanely paranoid about a flare-up, I get a hot compress any time I can. 

    I take a clean hand towel (not a wash-cloth, because you can rotate parts of a hand-towel), wet it, and put it in the microwave for about 20-40 secs. Or I nuke a big mug of hot water and continuously dip the towel and put it on me when I can lay down (dry towel under your butt). Also I have one of those rice bags that you can heat up and put in the microwave and I can hold it there over sweatpants (cotton is best so things can breathe) if you cant be naked, but the wet version I think works best. 

    I have also been taking sometihng called "Sepapeptase" - a vitamin supplement - research it because you are preggos, but I don't think it has any bad effects - since I have been taking it - sometimes one, sometimes up to 3 times a day when I feel it swelling - I have not had a super bad flare up. 

    After sex, take a warm washcloth and wipe around everything there right afterward. And if you feel any swelling or irritation, get a hot compress out right away and just sit with it for 10 mins or so on the area. And remember - a bartholin glad in JUST barely inside your treasure-area - it is NOT your labia (the part of your vag that is doing the swelling), so make sure to try and get that hot compress as close as you can to the area. 

    Another weird thing I read is about "helping to get the juices flowing" - ok this might sound gross and rediculous - but ok, maybe, just maybe - try a few masturbation sessions? Because trying to have actual sex when this crap is going on can make us totally self-concious and affect that part of us anyway, right? One member here talked about doing that to make an abcess burst - yikes! I can't imagine getting rocked up enough when THAT is happening, but I can sort of understand trying to "make juices flow" while/before/after a hot compress or a sitz bath... hmmm, right? 

    If you are going to use lube tho, I would reccomend using WATER based lubes as opposed to OIL based ones like the ones you find at the store. Also: my OBGYN was a friggin idiot and I went to a new one who told me half this stuff after suffering from my other one for a year - so don't think your doc knows everything. "Use lube???" Yeah - maybe try another doc... 

    I am considering a procedure called "marsupialization" - look it up for Bartholin cysts. From what I read, that shouldn't have any affect on your being preggos or anything, especially if your delivery is months away. They basically just numb you up and put a stitch or two to make the gland hole bigger. I'm so sick of it myself, I can't wait for my insurance to kick in and get it done. 

    All the best blessings, my friend!!!


    • Posted

      I got my first left bartholins cyst May 14th and it gave me a dull pain in my area for two weeks, after waiting it out my cyst grew and it got very uncomfortable. So I went to the gynecologist and she drained it and left an incision to help it drain. Since the draining I'm feeling a little better but it seems I still feel a slight dull pain in my left side down in the area. It still hurts just a little if I stand very long. I'm so scared to get back to making love with my husband in fear it will agitate it and cause a recurrence. I'm having so much anxiety and it makes me feel nauseated thinking about this. What are the chances the Bartholins cyst will come back right away especially due to friction? The doctor said I can go back to normal activity. She said for now she thinks she felt a little bit of the cyst still there but shrunk down.

      My husband is so patient and talks about other options we can perform without actual sex. I appreciate that but I do want to try to have a very gentle sex, but then again I'm scared to death to agitate the cyst in the slightest. My anxiety is bad because my gynecologist said my choices are to continue with the draining If it gets big again or endure an outpatient surgery and remove the cyst. I'm afraid surgery will interfere with my sex in the future. Plus I hear if you remove a cyst there is no guarantee that it won't come back or another new one might form. It's so frustrating and upsetting dealing with the pain of the cyst. I was already on antibiotics for two weeks and my gynecologist said the infection cleared up.

      So my question to you is, What can I expect within the next two months of June and July? I have been consistently doing the warm sitz baths and the warm towel and rice

      heat pack. I take motrin for the pain. I really don't want the surgery. What's the odds that with home remedies I will heal? It makes me feel so hopeless and weak and self concious. Any advice will be much appreciated.

    • Posted

      I had mine drained 4 times. Not cool. Had the marsupialization surgery where they basically make the duct "stay open". Not fun. A year later...here she comes again-Miss BC-had the entire gland and duct REMOVED. Not cool. Not fun. Left me scarred down there and my beautiful vagina. Changed. Forever. I still have problems with it and was told the gland and duct are very small and the surgery is in an area of high blood loss, so it is apparently easy to leave a piece of the gland in there. I have been taking serrapeptase and it has seemed to help. I am very blessed to have a wonderful husband. He is very understanding. Loving. Kind. I may have surgery to try to get the small piece and possibly fix my broken vagina. I hope you are more successful than I.
  • Posted

    I have had a BC on only one side for 5 years. The first time I went immediately to the ER and had it lanced, which I had done again three times within about three years. Then I had the marsupialization which worked for about 9 months and when the damn thing still came back, I then had the entire gland and duct removed. Unfortunately the gland is so tiny it is not so easy to get it all out....so occasionally the tissue will "swell" but I have found serraptase to work amazingly well!

    I can not imagine having them both engorged and while pregnant AND while my husband still insists on having sex while this is occurring. What a selfish child he must be. You are too good for him. It is not helping the situation to have sex especially if they are infected. I never have had a problem getting wet after my BC....or even since the entire gland and duct was removed I still have plenty of juice. My husband just wanted me to feel better. Please tell me you will have someone else, a doctor, look at you BCs. There is absolutely no reason they can't take care of it while you are pregnant. You may have to endure a few mins of extremely painful shots in your area, but then you will be numb and they can take care of it. I really feel for you. I promise it can be fixed and your baby will be ok. But any man wanting or willing to hurt you just so he can have sex....is NOT a man! Think hard about how you want to show your children how you care for yourself...because children learn what they see. Good luck. My thoughts will be with you and your family. You are blessed to be a mother. 💚

  • Posted

    Hi sunburnt,

    Don't stress. If he won't make sex more comfortable for you by using lube, then don't have sex with him. It is probably the sex that is prolonging the issue. Go to the docs and a stronger antibiotic if it's safe for pregnant. see a different gynaecologist and get a soap free wash for the vagina. I have heard people say they pop them themselves but I am not sure this is a good idea. Just have lots of hot baths. I was lucky mine went away but I did get bad thrush from the antibiotics. I hope your condition improves soon.


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