1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Sertraline

I am into my 7th week of depression

Posted , 3 users are following.

marie1970
marie1970

I have suffered from depression on and off for many years but this time it is very severe. I have been taking citalapram and propranolol for afew years but i felt as though they had little effect and i had no emotion so my gp changed me to trazadone and propranalol. These made me ill,i could not keep food down everything was spinning,forgetfulness basically i felt dreadful. At this point i was still going to work but i asked for ammended duties. then after 2 weeks things got worse and i had to see gp he changed medication to setraline. Basically now i have been off work for 3 weeks i have zero motivation. The only thought i am having is running away i have it all planned in my head i am just going to go with my son leave my husband and book into a hotel room. I even plan to leave my phone and draw money out of bank so no one can trace me. I am sleeping my life away. My husband doesnt understand. I had to book emergency appointment with gp yesterday and i asked my husband to come with me. Myself and my husband explained how bad i have been.The Gp reassured me this is normal and is just the meds please advise?

2 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • Blu02
    Blu02 marie1970

    Posted

    Try to hang on in there marie, these meds can take a while to kick in.... you'll be there soon and feel so much better 😃
  • louise22367
    louise22367 marie1970

    Posted

    Sorry to hear how ill you are feeling.while I was going onto sertraline,i too had the same idea of running away from it all and booking into a hotel with my children.i can assure you that it does get better it's just a matter of time.my husband didn't understand and was getting frustrated.He thought I would be better after being on them a couple of weeks but it doesn't work like that.you can feel a lot worse before it gets better.You will get there arrowbiggrin
  • marie1970
    marie1970

    Posted

    Thankyou for reply it,s so hard when you are locked away in your bedroom. I have zero motivation and nothing makes any sence. It,s like waiting for magic to happen but will it. I don,t have a root cause for it my life is good. I am findinf it very hard to understand.
  • DawnDedee
    DawnDedee marie1970

    Posted

    Marie, is there something about your husband, your life with him that makes you want to run?

    Hugs

    Dawn, USA

  • DawnDedee
    DawnDedee marie1970

    Posted

    Marie, I just read your other post and realize your husband is not the problem. I too have spent too much time in your same condition. I have a few really good reasons right now to feel so depressed, and I know what you mean by waiting for magic to happen so that it will pull you up and lift you out from the grasp of the beast, depression.

    It holds me against my will, presses me down when I want to be up. When these spells occur to me, despite my excellent anti-depressant, I have tried everything I can think of to get out of the bed and my frame of mind.

    What works best for me is to do something for someone else. I force myself and feel like I am choking with lack of motivation, but if I do something for someone else, a kind of magic does begin for me.

    Hugs

    Dawn, USA

    💛💕💙💕💜💕💚💕❤💕💛💕💙💕💜💕💚💕

    • marie1970
      marie1970 DawnDedee

      Posted

      Yes this really makes sense to me but its very hard to understand why this is happening. Today i thought my son was bringing one of his friends home that has never been before and i new his bedroom was very untidy and that i looked terrible. I had not been showered for 4 days so i have been showered and i have given his bedroom abit of a once over. I new that i could not let him down but inside i still feel worn out.

      I want to feel myself again. 

      Yes i have no reason to run away from my husband he adores me and is wanting to help me through this.

      How long have you suffered Dawn?

    • DawnDedee
      DawnDedee marie1970

      Posted

      I have suffered my whole life as far back as I can remember, actually my first memory was when I was 9 years old. And I know it was caused by living in a home where I was unwanted and physically and emotionally abused. So I went untreated or diagnosed until in my 20's.

      Dystymia is my diagnosis, a low level of depression always there, like carrying a low grade fever with no cure.

      Now I am 56 and have done everything possible to help myself. Therapy, lots of antidepressants, read every self help book I could get my hands on and read the Bible and learned of spiritual wars in our universe. The one thing that helps me the most is to force myself to serve another, to do a selfless act on behalf of another.

      I raise my 3 lovely granddaughters and this helps me for I have lots of ways to do for them. No medication can fill in all the gaps of the complexities of mental health. We must help ourselves manually also.

      What better exchange could there be? Helping others helps us too. During the inevitable down 4 and 5 day stretches when I also do not shower or get off the couch and stare up at the ceiling wishing I could push up against what is pushing me down, I explain to them what depression is, feels like, and I try not to stay there too long.

      I so understand your struggle. We just have to keep kicking to the surface even if there seems to be nothing motivating once we reach the surface. And do not beat yourself up Marie.

      Hugs

      Dawn

    • marie1970
      marie1970 DawnDedee

      Posted

      Thankyou so much I too have suffered for many years. My parents broke up when I was 10 years old and my emotions were all over. I got a boyfriend from 13 years and was with him for 13 years he was an alcoholic (now dead) I had to walk away after many years of trying to help him. We were also married. I spent 3 years on my own and met the father of my child I was also put through a lot with him. I stood by him whilst he spent time in prison. He got out and I fell pregnant I sold my house and bought a business. He abused me mentally and still does 11 years down the line. He ripped me off financially I left him at 7 months pregnant. I could go on but one struggle after another. Sometimes I ask myself is it all my fault why do I deserve this. Now I rely on medication to block out some of the bitterness I just want to forget it. I think I am always going to suffer sad
    • DawnDedee
      DawnDedee marie1970

      Posted

      Your life sounds like mine. Left home with damaged emotions that I was not even aware of because I thought the life I grew up in was normal. One abusive man after another....but since 2007, I have carried my maiden name after carrying a man's last name. Since I was 18, and I feel EMPOWERED. Once and for all, I am determined to believe in myself and find myself out of the shadow of the definitions others have placed upon me. And there is nothing wrong with a late bloomer. Read biographies of famous extraordinary people and you will find that they often began late in their lives because they had to overcome many seemingly impossible obstacles. If they can accomplish, so can we!

      We might always suffer, but we can also triumph! And guess what....I am now going to take a nice bath because helping you in even a small way lifts me up!

      Hugs!

  • Digsby
    Digsby marie1970

    Posted

    Hi Marie,

    I hope that you are beginning to feel a bit more motivated despite all that has happened to you. It sounds like you have found a real kindred spirit in Dawn. She is a very wise lady! While waiting for the medication to kick in, I have benefitted from seeing other people's suffering and trting to reach out to them in a positive way. Our own pain can give us deep compassion for others, and sometimes this gives a meaning to our suffering (although no one would choose to go through the depths of despair). It sounds as if your family are supportive, although even our nearest and dearest can get frustrated with us. You are definitely not alone in wanting to run away until you feel like your "normal" self again. it's good if you can take a step back from work at the moment, so that it is one less pressure to think about on your road to recovery. Be gentle with yourself and don't expect to run before you can walk. You will get there, one step at a time. Don't give up hope. You are uniquely special and life is worth living. Perhaps counselling can relieve you of some of that emotional pain that you are carrying. You don't need to bear the burden forever, but you may need professional help to be able to let it go.

    Good luck & very best wishes,

    Digsby

    xx

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.