I am into my 7th week of depression
Posted , 3 users are following.
I have suffered from depression on and off for many years but this time it is very severe. I have been taking citalapram and propranolol for afew years but i felt as though they had little effect and i had no emotion so my gp changed me to trazadone and propranalol. These made me ill,i could not keep food down everything was spinning,forgetfulness basically i felt dreadful. At this point i was still going to work but i asked for ammended duties. then after 2 weeks things got worse and i had to see gp he changed medication to setraline. Basically now i have been off work for 3 weeks i have zero motivation. The only thought i am having is running away i have it all planned in my head i am just going to go with my son leave my husband and book into a hotel room. I even plan to leave my phone and draw money out of bank so no one can trace me. I am sleeping my life away. My husband doesnt understand. I had to book emergency appointment with gp yesterday and i asked my husband to come with me. Myself and my husband explained how bad i have been.The Gp reassured me this is normal and is just the meds please advise?
2 likes, 11 replies
Blu02 marie1970
Posted
louise22367 marie1970
Posted
marie1970
Posted
DawnDedee marie1970
Posted
Hugs
Dawn, USA
DawnDedee marie1970
Posted
It holds me against my will, presses me down when I want to be up. When these spells occur to me, despite my excellent anti-depressant, I have tried everything I can think of to get out of the bed and my frame of mind.
What works best for me is to do something for someone else. I force myself and feel like I am choking with lack of motivation, but if I do something for someone else, a kind of magic does begin for me.
Hugs
Dawn, USA
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marie1970 DawnDedee
Posted
I want to feel myself again.Β
Yes i have no reason to run away from my husband he adores me and is wanting to help me through this.
How long have you suffered Dawn?
DawnDedee marie1970
Posted
Dystymia is my diagnosis, a low level of depression always there, like carrying a low grade fever with no cure.
Now I am 56 and have done everything possible to help myself. Therapy, lots of antidepressants, read every self help book I could get my hands on and read the Bible and learned of spiritual wars in our universe. The one thing that helps me the most is to force myself to serve another, to do a selfless act on behalf of another.
I raise my 3 lovely granddaughters and this helps me for I have lots of ways to do for them. No medication can fill in all the gaps of the complexities of mental health. We must help ourselves manually also.
What better exchange could there be? Helping others helps us too. During the inevitable down 4 and 5 day stretches when I also do not shower or get off the couch and stare up at the ceiling wishing I could push up against what is pushing me down, I explain to them what depression is, feels like, and I try not to stay there too long.
I so understand your struggle. We just have to keep kicking to the surface even if there seems to be nothing motivating once we reach the surface. And do not beat yourself up Marie.
Hugs
Dawn
marie1970 DawnDedee
Posted
DawnDedee marie1970
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We might always suffer, but we can also triumph! And guess what....I am now going to take a nice bath because helping you in even a small way lifts me up!
Hugs!
marie1970 DawnDedee
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Digsby marie1970
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I hope that you are beginning to feel a bit more motivated despite all that has happened to you. It sounds like you have found a real kindred spirit in Dawn. She is a very wise lady! While waiting for the medication to kick in, I have benefitted from seeing other people's suffering and trting to reach out to them in a positive way. Our own pain can give us deep compassion for others, and sometimes this gives a meaning to our suffering (although no one would choose to go through the depths of despair). It sounds as if your family are supportive, although even our nearest and dearest can get frustrated with us. You are definitely not alone in wanting to run away until you feel like your "normal" self again. it's good if you can take a step back from work at the moment, so that it is one less pressure to think about on your road to recovery. Be gentle with yourself and don't expect to run before you can walk. You will get there, one step at a time. Don't give up hope. You are uniquely special and life is worth living. Perhaps counselling can relieve you of some of that emotional pain that you are carrying. You don't need to bear the burden forever, but you may need professional help to be able to let it go.
Good luck & very best wishes,
Digsby
xx