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I am really not feeling well at all. I am struggling to carry on. I don't feel like myself any more. I've tried to make myself better but nothing is helping. Bad thoughts are getting worse because I don't want to feel this way any more. I don't want a future with me being like this.
I don't know what to do. I tried to get help. I spoke to a helpline and they suggested I called nhs 111 to see if they can put me in touch with local crisis team. I'm scared to do this though. I don't know what will happen. I don't want them to send me an ambulance.
I have called 111 in the past and they decided to send me an ambulance when I know I didn't need one. The ambulance came, they did lots of tests on me, but physically I was fine. It made me feel like a time waster, but I knew I didn't need an ambulance. Then they left.
I don't think going to my doctor again will help, I feel it would just be 5 minutes, talk about different medication, then I'd be sent on my way.
I don't know what I can do, and I'm just getting worse. It's impossible to think about anything else.
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