I AM OUT OF CONTROL AND VERY DOWN

Posted , 8 users are following.

Well I have hit rock bottom again. I had a cake table at a fayre last Sunday which hardly sold anything and no cake order forms filled in. 

Only good thing my dog won smiliest face!  I have not been able to stop drinking and hubby is fed up with me. took car keys off me until today quite rightly so. Have a fayre in 3 weeks, new job to start on Monday and she needs care and so does her hubby, and what do I do, a new start and I mess up. Raided the penny jar just to go get a bottle of wine but no money now as hubby has taken my cards off me.

I have counselling on Weds so have to be dry as they will not see me without me being so.  Why do I keep doing it to myself. xx

0 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Kathy, I hope you are ok. I recognise this situation very much and I hate to hear that you are feeling rock bottom. Just because this has happened, doesn't mean that everything is ruined or tainted. Keep the faith and just focus on each day as it comes, rather than keeping a clean slate.

    Good luck.

  • Posted

    I know how much you feel like crap.  I know the feeling will pass and there will be some justification as to why it is ok to drink again.   I don't know WHY this happens to us other than it is a mental condition.

    Where you drinking SINCE Sunday?  If so it is really important to take some vitamins if you have them and to drink some fluids incorporating at least 1 sports drink for the electrolytes.  Eat small bits of food....soup always makes me feel a little better after a big binge.

    Focus only on not drinking for TODAY....that is all you can do...try not to put so much dread on yourself about the past because you can not change it....Your not weak you have a condition and this particular condition takes everything from you if you continue to fall prey to it.....so fight with all you have and know that you are NOT ALONE.

     

  • Posted

    Hi Kathy....oh lovey. I know exactly how you feel.....believe me....you are an ANGEL compared to how I was.....

    It is not the end of the world...you are a decent person who suffers from a problem. The same as many others of us.....

    We torture ourselves with guilt, with every mouthful don't we....is there no way that your counsellor could come to see you at home ? That takes the pressure off a little....I had a wonderful alcohol nurse and psychiatrist.....

    Like any other illness, we deserve to be treated with understanding and respect...MY hubby was the same, which actually made me worse...I know that he and my whole family felt utterly helpless....do not beat yourself up...you have not ruined anything...you have a new job..well done....we all do silly things at times, we are only human.....

    Please lovey, try to think of this as just a blip...pick yourself up and carry on again and again.....you are worth as much as anyone other person, and you always have been. And always will be....be honest to your hubby and alcohol worker when you are struggling...it is not that you are weak or bad.....keep your chin up lovely lady....every day is a new one ...and a new start....no matter how many times it takes....in my thoughts and hearts.....

    There are very many good people on here ( missy ) is excellent for advice and encouragement.....hugs, hugs always ...xxx

    • Posted

      thank you so much, will try best, but feel rubbish at the moment. no I have to see counsellor 12 miles away nobody near here, which I feel is wrong but nhs for you. Can go private but absolutely broke so cantxxx

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