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I am so depressed. I want to check out but I can't. I have my family that needs me. I just want the pain and fear to stop. I feel as if I am a prisoner inside my own body. I have never felt this much sadness and pain ever. I am at my breaking point. I don't sleep because the anxiety attacks scare. I wake up when I do sleep drained from fear, my heart goes a mile a minute and I sweat. My thoughts race, my body hurts. I hide this from my kids they need me to be strong for them. I am so afraid of myself. I want to stop the hurt but I can't. I envy the people who have suicide as an option. Their pain has stopped I have to live on. I am seeing a therapist. She says it's along road but it will get better. I don't see it. I am in a very dark place. It's like being in a dark cave with no flash light.
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