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I am so disappointed in myself

Posted , 8 users are following.

Jackie_1964
Jackie_1964

I am so disappointed in myself I detoxed as a inpatient in the middle of June it was a two week detox which I was really ill I fitted and was taken in a serious Condition to a general hospital I was in intensive care and my organs were shutting down as my liver is seriously damaged but I am still here Thank god telling you guys my story I have posted in the past on this forum so some of you might know my story but after all of what I have gone through and even been told not to drink alchol ever in my life I slipped up on sat and been on a bender for three days it was the aniversary of my father's death and now I can't stay of it I drink a couple litres of cider and a bottle wine a day I don't know what to do I know I should not drink but I just can't stop please any advice pkease

2 likes, 17 replies

17 Replies

  • olivo
    olivo Jackie_1964

    Posted

    You KNOW you messed up- and you CAN  now get back on track, all is not lost. You are human, read your own post, it is so dangerous for you to keep drinking if you were that ill,and think of this, - your father would hate it if his anniversary was the cause of you drinking again and endangering your life- Think of him x
  • RHGB
    RHGB Jackie_1964

    Posted

    Try your GP if they are any good. It is going to take some tough love if you want to live.

    I had an enforced detox last year whilst in hospital for a stroke. I too was in a bad way as far as my organs were concerned. I fell off the wagon in June,it was my 50th birthday and my 20th weddding anniversary and a year since I got out of hospital (almost two months).

    The alcohol recovery people were useless, so I went cold turkey, it wasn't easy, I didn't get out of bed for three days, but I wasn't quite ready to die, but I did feel like I was dying whilst doing cold turkey - this may not be for you, your organs may not be up to it. You could try tapering off.

    You need to stop now, try your GP first, they are probably your best hope.

  • PaulJTurner1964
    PaulJTurner1964 Jackie_1964

    Posted

    People so have slips. You came here which shows you have the insight to seek help. Keep coming because there are alot of people here who can give you some support.

    You need another detox by the sound of it. Go and see if your GP can help you by referring you urgently to somebody who can help. It sounds like you may need to be detoxed in a specialist clinic or in hospital rather than at home.

    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964

      Posted

      The word 'so' above was supposed to be 'sometimes'
  • vickylou
    vickylou Jackie_1964

    Posted

    Jackie I'm so sorry you are feeling so terrible. Certain things like anniversaries  are reminders of what we've lost in life, and the temptation is to blot out painful things through alcohol. Just because you've relapsed doesn't mean you can't try again. I know how it feels when you've been doing so well to only see negativity and guilt. Tomorrow is another day. You know you've been told not to drink again and your liver is damaged. If you can't stop drinking, try knocking off the wine and just have the cider. Ok the last three days you've been on a bender, that's not a lot of time spent 

    drinking if you look at the bigger picture.

    well done for coming back here and telling us what's happened. It take guts to do that. Excuse my asking you this, but are you the lady whose brother is your carer and who kept bringing his mates round drinking and supplying you with alcohol? Many apologies if that's not you.

    Get up, dust yourself down, and start all over again, as the saying goes. Keep posting, you know you won't be judged harshly as we've all done the same at some point

    • Jackie_1964
      Jackie_1964 vickylou

      Posted

      Hi Vickyou to your question yes I am the same lady and thankyou for your advice I have got my support worker coming today I will tell her everything I was not going to as I feel ashamed I have let everyone down that as worked with me to get me to the point when I was not drinking but after some advice on here this is not somthing to leave alone I know that now take care x
    • vickylou
      vickylou Jackie_1964

      Posted

      To get back on track, you need to be open and honest with your support worker. You've opened up on here and told us, so just say the same to him/her. No need to feel ashamed or embarrassed, just be honest. Try and remember it's your health that matters and it won't be anything new or stuff they've not heard before. Take care
    • Richardt
      Richardt Jackie_1964

      Posted

      Write down all your feelings and problems and hand it to your support worker, or GP as humans its difficult to explain ourselves well, Especially when in distress,
    • vickylou
      vickylou Jackie_1964

      Posted

      Hi Jackie

       

      How are things going. Please let us know how you got on with your support worker. Was she able to help you

      thinking of you. Take care, and remember you can't change what's happened, but you can, with a lot of hard work and help, strive towards a happier life and a longer future

    • Jackie_1964
      Jackie_1964 vickylou

      Posted

      Hi Vickyou I have told my support worker everything she getting my alchol councillor to come and see me plus my consultant is going to visit to so I will see what they advice then it was hard telling her but I know it's the right thing to do now thankyou for your advice x
  • Richardt
    Richardt Jackie_1964

    Posted

    Its common to relapse , he long have u been drinking before u were hospitalised do u live alone, he old are u , this information helps so people can help u, we are all here for a reason on site, do u suffer from depression, cheers hope to here from u.
  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 Jackie_1964

    Posted

    HI Jackie,...oh bless you....don't be hard on yourself....it is very hard to give up ...I was like you, I was detoxed many, many times....four times ...on a section four in a mental health hospital....

    many times at home with my amazing, wonderful alcohol nurse.. who became a friend...( she now works with the liver transplant team. ) on behalf of alcoholics....

    I stopped many, many times. and started again.....

    my last detox was 13yrs ago...I was hospitalized for more than two months...I went from..two weeks away from death ..really !! To healthy and even better ..I liked myself again....

    never ever give up giving up...always ask for help, never feel ashamed, you have done nothing wrong..xxx

    it can be done, like me, I took ten years....but I did, you can too, you are worth it, tell your GP you are struggling again, he has a duty of care towards you....and they should be non judgmental...

    always, always ask for help, you are worth it....and you deserve it...pick yourself up and try again, and again and again if need be...you will get there....I wish you all the good luck in the world....sincere regards and big, big hugs to you...DEIRDRE xxx

    Paul j Turner...is an excellent source of help, and qualified in the alcohol abuse and detox field...ask him anything..he really can advise you well.....keep up your great work and support Paul....xx

    • vickylou
      vickylou PaulJTurner1964

      Posted

      I second that! You're a very valued person Paul and you probably don't realise how many people you've helped, myself included
    • Jackie_1964
      Jackie_1964 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      Thankyou deirdre for your kind words and everyone else that has comented on my thread it is most apreciated you guys are amazing and I am glad I joined this forum as it has helped me on many of acasions and thankyou Paul you have gave me such a lot of good advice and information over the months god bless you all x
    • vickylou
      vickylou Jackie_1964

      Posted

      Jackie, how are things going. Am so pleased you told your support worker everything. She's obviously listened and is trying to help. Great that you've got your alcohol counsellor and consultant coming to see you. I used to dread going somewhere new, or even leaving the house. Am sure between them all, they can work towards getting you back on track. Never feel embarrassed or ashamed and by telling people it shows that you want to get better. Good luck and keep posting.
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