I am struggling.
Posted , 4 users are following.
My mom died at the beginning of this year and since then it feels like this domino effect of absolute s**t has been happening. I am immunocompromised and cannot work, i have psoriasis that now covers 95% of my body and cannot walk because of the pain. i took up drawing again as a friend said it could help me cope, and eventually talked me into running my own shop and that's been doing terribly too.
my family is falling apart and i have little to no means to survive on my own right now and the depressions hitting me hard. i cry until i vomit, i think about how i wish i wasnt alive all the time, im so terrified of touching things or people touching me because of the pandemic and its gotten to the point where i cant touch food with clean hands without immediately throwing it out. i feel like im going f*****g crazy and nothing is working and im all over the place right now. people keep telling me to push forward, but for what? more disappointment? soul shattering anxiety that rules my waking life? the depression and panic that comes in waves at night? i just dont see any purpose to anything right now.
1 like, 2 replies
sam18386 kagurakei
Posted
hi I kagurak, i am really sorry to hear you feel so awful! take things 1 thing at a time. 1st for your mum's death how can you carry on without support? we lost my dad to cancer 8 years ago and that year felt horrid for all of us. ask for help your parents death is like no other, i am sending you a virtual hug! as for your health it will sadly be bad because you're grieving. grief does other things including making your body feel rubbish too, it's all the stress. if it is bad see your doctor. i think once you get some help with your depression and your mum's death you may not see the world as darkly! i wish you so much luck, contact back when you've got your doctors appointment.
joshuapryce1987 kagurakei
Posted
Speak to the doctor about the psoriasis. You can make your life better but first you need to sort out this health issue. The good news is that this problem can be overcome just as any illness can well except for terminal cancer. Your problem should be treated early. All the best.