I am tired

Posted , 4 users are following.

i am 27 yrs old and i feel like i am alot older than i should be ..

i am tired of putting on that fake smile for everyone saying i am alrite i am fine .. when inside i feel like shouting no i am not alrite i do not wanna be on this earth no more i just want to die ...i have had 3 failed attempts i just do not know wot to do ..

how can i make this go away .. i am even lying to the dr telling him no i do not think like that at all .. wot is wrong wit me why cant i let ppl help me ..

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Kelz

    One of the hardest things with depression is being honest with others about how you are really feeling.

    The easiest way is to write it down and give it to your GP.

    If possible, make an appointment for today, tell them it is urgent if they say they have no appointments.

    Believe me you will feel much better once you have let your GP know. It won't cure you :cry: but it will be one less heavy weight for you to be carrying around.

    From there on your GP will know exactly what help you need with this terrible demon, depression.

    Do please come back and let us know how you get on at the doctors.

    Melbi x

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  • Posted

    Hi Kelz,

    It's really hard to make that first step! And i'm going to be honest its hard to keep taking the next step!

    It will be worth it! You need to tell your doctor how your feeling or else he wont be able to help! They cant help you if they dont know what the problem is!

    I found it quite good to post things on here and then print them off and show them. Its quicker and easier than trying to find the right words and how to put them together.

    Good luck and keep posting.

    The orb fairy

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  • Posted

    Hi Kelz

    I agree with Orb, I have spent years trying to cope on my own, not wanting to let anyone in but have finally realised that my gp will only want the best for me and he can't do that without me telling me whats wrong. It takes guts but it helps in the long run. In fact sometimes it is a great relief to actually talk about how you are feeling to a nearly complete stranger.

    Anyway I guess what I am trying to say is, if you can, talk to your gp. I know it is scary, I have been running for years but please talk to someone.I can't talk re putting on a brave face cause I do it every day, It is very hard to tell people without worrying that you will scare them. I ahve worked in the same pub for 5 years and although I have told some people I stil have to put the happy barmaid face on every time I go to work. I hate it!!!!! If I had a more secure job I would really appreciate being signed off work but I can't do that so I have to struggle on. Knowing I can talk to someone, even virtually helps so please keep in touch and

    let us know how you are doing.

    sorry if I have rambled, I don't check my posts on purpose (other than spellings) so whatever I post comes from the heart, without my own censorship, if that makes sense.


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  • Posted


    I stil have to put the happy barmaid face on every time I go to work. I hate it!!!!! If I had a more secure job I would really appreciate being signed off work but I can't do that so I have to struggle on. [/quote:cd770c290b]

    That is wot it is like for me .. I work full time but i am agency so i am not able to take sick as i would not get paid for it ...

    I feel like i can nto speak to my husband as he will brush it off and just be like well never mind.. he is not able to speak to me about anything and i just want to tell him that i wanna die .. How do i tell him that ?? how do i tell the love of my life my soul mate i do not want to live no more ....

    and how come i can tell the internet this and not him ???

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  • Posted

    Kelz have you tried writing down how you feel then left it hanging around in a place your hubby will find it (without him thinking you left it there deliberately) Seems sneaky and underhand I know, but sometimes if we just hand it to them they start to feel instant guilt - or panic even. He loves you and must be worried sick about you - he can't understand why you're feeling this way so feels trapped because he doesn't know the answer to solve your problems.

    Hope all that made sense. :oops:

    By doing it that way, he isn't going to feel he needs to speak with you straight away - this way it would give him the time he so probably needs to get his own head round it.

    Don't write it as letter to him - make it more of a diary type writing.

    Melbi x

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