I am trying to understand all of this.

Posted , 2 users are following.

My ex and I have known each other for about seven years, and over that time, we have developed a very nice friendship. Last year, we decided to start dating and that’s when I saw and learned, hands-on, how to deal with his illness. I really believed everything was going well until August when he became very symptomatic and started showing very erratic behaviors. He moved in with me on August 1 and moved out in August 19, right after I told him that I was laid off from my job. He ran back to his ex and I must say, my heart was destroyed; not only had I lost my job, but I lost him as well.

We were able to rekindle our friendship at least, and in November, “BOOM,” he was gone for six months. Just recently, right after Mother’s Day, we were able to reconnect somewhat by accident. Since then, we have had an ok friendship and I can’t help but to ignore those loving feelings that once was. If I had my way, we would be planning a wedding right now. He’s been a little stand-offish with me again and I believe it has to do with some major personal challenges he’s dealing with. At least he’s respecting the boundaries I’ve asked him to respect if he ever needed to isolate again; by at least texting to let me know he’s fine.  My question is, I understand isolation being a symptom of ptsd and I’ve learned not to take it personal, but can it be a regular part of the illness? Can it be something I should expect on the regular? Please help me to gain more clarity. Thank you.

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  • Posted

    Hi Bill, I am a 45 year old female suffering from PTSD daily, when I hit a low point I don't trust enough to speak to any body! I have done this several times during the last few months. Your partner or the person you know with PTSD may not have any support. Running away is common place as PTSD leaves you testing everyone and everything! It's really tough to live with, for the person with PTSD and their supporters too. I wish you both luck! Comment again on here again.

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    • Posted

      Greetings Sam,

      Thank you so much for sharing your personal experiences; I really appreciate it. What did you mean when you said, “ptsd leaves you testing everything and everybody”? By testing, are you waiting to see how someone treats you, or how long it takes someone to respond? Is it a good sign that he’s respecting my boundaries now?

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    • Posted

      Hi Bill, I was assaulted and raped aged 19 then 25, which left me very hypersensitive, I find trust a nightmare, at the moment I have none, I reached rock bottom 2 weeks back but keep switching between that and able to manage just. I'm struggling dreadfully today, I keep seeing my dad and he's not alive. I want to go to him today. Truly. People don't understand PTSD, my counsellor does, men don't get it definitely especially in my case! I hope it gets better for you.x

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    • Posted

      I am so sorry to hear of your situation and how much you have to endure on a daily basis. I’m trying to learn more about ptsd and the symptoms because of my ex who still means the world to me. I used to put a lot of pressure on him before I realized it probably wasn’t a good idea. He used to try to accommodate my needs while struggling with his own challenges and I now admire him for at least trying back then. As you know, we recently reconnected after a six month break due to his making irrational decisions, and I am so happy we can st least be close again. However, I’ve noticed since we’ve reconnected and started being close again, he’s run into hiding again, but he at least will acknowledge me trying to reach out to him which is something he didn’t do before. 

      Currently he struggling with trying to fulfill a major financial obligation which I believe is lending to him having his stress cup flow over. Could that cause him to need space, or isolate? I believe God has allowed you and I to connect because of your past and how you can help others understand ptsd a little more. May God continue to bless you and help you with your everyday struggles. 🙂

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    • Posted

      Hi Bill, oh dear it sounds like you may need a break from your partner too. Sometimes having PTSD is enough for the partner to endure on top of the sufferer! A break may do you both good because you can both breathe. I have counselling for my PTSD because what I endured was so severe! I could do with a break away from my partner too some days as this issue I discuss is so painful I can't even begin to speak to him about it. He'll may be talk when he's ready you can't push the issue they may push you away too. Good luck it's so hard I know but you can get round it!

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