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Hey, I'm Lexie and I'm 23 years old, I suffered major panic attacks depression and anxiety since I was four years old. I don't know what triggered it and 8 had a really shut time growing up with it. I would sleep with a bucket next to my bed every night because most nights I was sick with fear. I would shake and sweat and have phantom pains all over, my heart would race and I would go dizzy and everytime I drifted off to sleep I would wake up in shock thinking my heart had just stopped. I didn't know what these were until I was 17 when I went to the doctors and was diagnosed with GAD. I was put on different medications which helped for a while, but as soon as I stopped taking them everything would return. Anyway I fell pregnant with my first child at 18 and only had a few panic attacks from then on, I would say I had about 10 fromy 18 to 22. At 22 I fell pregnant with my second son and he was born in June 2017. He was born at home and the second he was born I went I to panic, and no lie that panic attack lasted 7 MONTHS. I lost 2 stone, I cried everyday with fear I didn't eat anything I didn't drink anything besides water. I couldn't go out and if I did I would always be looking for a toilet to be sick, I used to ring my family at early hours in the morning looking for reassurance. It was the most awful time of my life I was so scared of everything, I thought I would never get over it. But I did, now 3 months later, I haven't had a panic attack at all, I enjoy life, I enjoy spending my time with my two boys, I talk to people with confidence, I sleep well, I even do boxing! I believe in myself , and I know it doesn't work for everyone but this is how it worked for me.
I used this site all the time to reassure myself but then I found that always seeing people suffering too was upsetting me so I stopped doing it, I went to the doctors and they per scribed me with atenolol 25mg. I took one a day and my panic attacks stopped so that was step one. I then took on counciling which really helped me, but most of all I self talked , I did it every night, I tought myself that I was worth this place on earth, I havery two gorgeous boys who needed me, and if tomorrow was going to be my last day I would want my last day to be amazing, so I live every day like it's my last! I have confidence because I now know I'm a nice person and people who think different are entitled to there own opinion, I do my best for my boys and we are happy. Anxiety and depression are now a choice for me and I choose not to give in to them, because I am my boss. I came off the atenolol because anxiety is in your head, think back, if you aren't thinking of anxiety and your distracted, does it bother you? No so you know it's in your head, it does get better, please don't give up and think there is no way out, if you want to talk to someone who knows how you feel just message me, I will help you. You can save yourself all the suffering, honest
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