I called a free-phone helpline.
Posted , 4 users are following.
Finally, I plucked up the courage to phone the one that's given out by my local health authority. I shouldn't have wasted their time, feel bad about it now, but now I know. It won't happen again. they wanted to put me on mind-bending drugs and then, following procedures set out by the powers that be, nullify my thought processes. That's [living]? It all seems so pointless.
"So why did I call them ?" They asked. Fair question.
I need to get away from my life as I'm living it right now. I can't ever see me not wanting to die but to find shelter from all that's bad in my life. A small apartment somewhere. Everything seems to be closing in right now. I just thought, hoped against hope I suppose. But that's not what they do. Medication and therapy is the mantra. I really don't want to go through that.
Life eh?
0 likes, 9 replies
doubting
Posted
Something went wrong with my post.
Emis_Moderator doubting
Edited
Hi,
It's a known bug which has been reported. If it happens again you can edit the post and remove any spaces at the start of each line of text which is what I did so post is ok now. Note: you can only edit your own posts until a reply is received.
Regards,
Emis Moderator.
doubting Emis_Moderator
Posted
Okay, thank you emis.
How do I edit please?
Is that what "pencil icon" is for?
sam18386 doubting
Edited
hi doubting, i understand you. i have felt like you for the last couple of days! i feel terrible for taking anyone else's time up but at the moment i am in physical pain, my shoulder has hurt for weeks now, i have to have yet another doctors appointment as my pain is so bad, my diet is dire and being totally gluten free has caused me to gain NOT lose weight. i am feeling let down by authorities. i feel like doing something but don't know what to come out of this life of pain and ill health. i hate my life sometimes.....
doubting
Edited
Sam,
sorry to read your post and now I feel bad about feeling how I do because really, on the face of it, I'm sure that so many people would have my life.
Although I am an old man, yes I have my aches and pains, but physically, all things considered, I'm not in bad shape. My problems are, some might contest, [protest] even, all in my head. Well yes I suppose they are but I've lived my whole life totally cowed and bowed and I've had it.
I don't think [anybody] in their right mind really [wants] to die. And there's the sticking point ... "right mind".
But when a person really can't face living, what are they to do?
I told the person that I spoke to on a free-phone helpline of my wish end my life and her response was "how sad?".
Why sad? I really do not understand where society is coming from with that.
By the way, I to am a coeliac. CORRECTION ... Was once diagnosed a coeliac. When I first went on the diet the weight dropped off me but it stabilized and, over time, I put it back on.
And then years later, because of a newspaper article that I happened to read, found out that actually the only thing that my gut couldn't or wouldn't tolerate was regular off the shelf wheat based bread. I eat sourdough and all is well with my diet now, there's nothing, that I'm aware of, that I can't eat. Apart from the bread of course.
I hope things work out for you Sam, good luck.
sam18386 doubting
Posted
hi doubting, you have NOTHING to apologize for! anyone who doesn't like who you are as a person needs to understand that being you is the real deal. you are allowed to feel the way you do! why dis that person say "how sad", some of these people don't know how to react to the reality that people may not want to be alive! you be whoever you want. remember this though - some of us do suffer in reality. i have PTSD through assault, multiple times, it's called complex PTSD. it has taken years to mend, i have my reasons for being so sad some days. you have yours, but it's what you do about this that matters. YOU are still talking to people you don't want out of this world YET. those who stop don't want to be here.... hang on in there.
bernipes doubting
Posted
Hi! Well, I can't say that I know what you are going through because I really don't, but still, I empathize with you.
I've heard many people say how frustrated they feel because they always hear that same "mantra" of therapy and medication, and I can imagine how bad it must be to see your options limited to that.
In any case, there is not much you can do when your mind is not going well.
I hope you can be around people you can talk to.
Feel hugged.
doubting
Posted
Thanks bernipes.
doubting
Edited
I'm in a quandary here, don't know what to do, but not really having any choice. When I called the help-line I wasn't prepared for the "medication and therapy" response. It was a shock, but I can't see any other way out for me right now.
M&T evokes, for me anyway, images of drugged up, not knowing who I am or where I am, and someone messing with my head. I can't face not being in control. But I can't let things go on as they are.
I am trying to pluck up the courage to make another call but I just know it won't get me out of my situation.
Oh what a mess.
I just want to go somewhere where I'm not known, live quietly and anonymously and wait to die, or, hopefully, until I find the nerve to end it all. Wishful thinking huh!
I'm sorry, I just needed to post this.