I can't believe it's him!

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hi ladies and men who use this site, I am sorry that I feel I have had to speak to people yet again, but after all these years all this heartache and upset, my husband has finally hurt me beyond belief.  Sorry I should say I'm Sam, I'm 43 and write on here often reporting back to people who I think understand more about rape and assault than anyone else.  The story goes like this: after losing my rights to have ivf, being assaulted at the age of 19 and raped by my second boyfriend I had,  I am now married and have been for 8 years, BUT my husband who was previously supportive and understanding of my having counselling which was suggested by my doctors and the hospital has now started to blame me.  I have NEVER felt so bad the way I now do.  I can't believe he'd have the cheek to accuse me of wanting to be raped and blaming me.  The last time I felt this bad my dad had died.  Gutted.  Now what do I do?  Any ideas?


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  • Posted

    Hello Sam

    This is not unusual, however I am suprised if this has just come up now and not before marriage.

    It may be it was you who has been discussing this in CBT and have gone home and told your Man what had been discussed.

    You need to understand the scar, that may have been accepted in the passed then brought out again at your CBT.

    If this is the case you need to be firm and kind to your husband and make Him understand it is only Him you love etc.

    This problem can open up a jeenie in the bottle and it is sad you both need to go through all this again


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    • Posted

      Hi borderriever, I currently don't have CBT, as it didn't help, they seemed to think I was nuts and it was all in my head, my husband only mentioned this in a row and whilst I won't make any excuses for what he did HE does now know what he did. Rape is rape however you look at it, it's just incredible tough that's all. We've lost so much we just both need help. I have found help, I told he must find some for him, himself. That's NOT my fault if he can't cope. I've had to, or lose everything including my marriage.

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  • Posted

    Have you been in touch with Rape Crisis?

    Just wondering if they might be able to help?

    Hugs xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Shaz, that's exactly what I did and why I left my old doctors surgery as the manager blamed ME for what happened so I made a complaint and left. So has she - in the arms of security! They're an absolute God send whoever invented people as sensitive as that deserves a medal, clearly a woman. Thank you.x

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