I can’t stop thinking about it, even though I know it’s not what I want

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I’m scared I’m slipping into, if not already, an alcoholic. It runs in my family, my best friend has had success in sobriety, but I’m having a hard time. I never really loved beer till I met my ex. It is what we did together, he lived in a remote town where all we did was drink beer and hang out. But when you’re falling in love it doesn’t matter what you do. Things got bad about 10months in. I realized he had a pill problem, and a drinking problem that I was very much ignoring. In turn I started drinking too, a lot. He asked me often if my new love for beer was because of him - I would

Laugh it off and say no ... make an excuse as to something else going on that was causing me to drink during my work day, and my constant cravings for it. That was the problem- I never had this issue until end of last year. I have 1-3 beers at lunch, hard IPAs... sometimes I eat, sometimes I don’t. And now I feel like I can’t stop thinking about the next beer I get. Before and after everything. It’s become a TERRIBLE habit and it comes before everything. I can’t afford it, yet I still do it. I find it to be like a ritual or something I “get” to do- or more like “my little secret”. Either way, it’s got to go. I know my potential and what I am capable of- and this is dragging me and my life down. My goals are disappearing, my control is a lie, and I’m I denial about this. I need to learn new tools to get myself out of this spiral. I’m scared it’s gonna leave me jobless and embarrassed. My relationship has ended which is another reason why I’m allowing myself to “self medicate”.... but God knows I need some support around this, someone or something to relate to. It’s getting in the way of me living the life I want, and I know I can’t continue to blame it on the break up.

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  • Posted

    Hi MallorJayne, thks for an honest answer! You need medication i think. Google the c3 foundation and watch the video. I was like you for many years and lost to drinking. Always thinking of the next drink before the current one had gone! Did i have enough for the weekend hidden away in house? All the secret spots. Not too much in the daytime for her to smell or know...suddenly twins arrived and i became the house dad. I stopped completely when the they were 16 months old. Wanted to live a long and healthy life and see them grow up. I stopped 31st dec 2012 or 6 1/2 years ago. You can do it. We are here to guide and help you 😁 Robin

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    • Posted

      I will look into that, thank you! I hadn't heard of it before. Finding a beer has become something I think about all the time, and something I need to get in somehow before I go anywhere, even when going to working out 😦 Once that started happening i realized this has become out of my control . Thank you again, this was hard for me to put out there.

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    • Posted

      I never let anything get in the way of my 5pm starting time and I wasn't done till I'd had at least 12 beers. I used The Sinclair Method (what Robin was writing about) and gradually over 6 months, that dropped to a 12 pack per month, where it's stayed for 3 years now. It was an inexpensive treatment and well worth the effort.

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  • Posted

    Hi MallorJayne, thks for an honest answer! You need medication i think. Google the c3 foundation and watch the video. I was like you for many years and lost to drinking. Always thinking of the next drink before the current one had gone! Did i have enough for the weekend hidden away in house? All the secret spots. Not too much in the daytime for her to smell or know...suddenly twins arrived and i became the house dad. I stopped completely when the they were 16 months old. Wanted to live a long and healthy life and see them grow up. I stopped 31st dec 2012 or 6 1/2 years ago. You can do it. We are here to guide and help you 😁 Robin

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  • Posted

    Hi there. I recently tried the sinclair method and it made me have dreadful side effects. I felt like a zombie and had very black thoughts. It is good for many but i just thought id mention as i wasnt expecting what happened to me. Good luck with your journey .

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    • Posted

      About 5% can't take Naltrexone because the side effects are intolerable for them, Jennifer. Sorry it didn't work out for you! Did you find some other medication that helps? If you want to abstain entirely, Acamprosate is often helpful. Topiramate works well for some too. There are a number of medications that can be used for Alcohol Use Disorder.

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  • Posted

    hi , well done for coming on here and admitting you have a problem with alcohol, the most important and hardest first move on getting a handle on this disease (i truly believe addiction is a disease) is coming to terms with the fact that you have a problem and then reaching out for help, very few people manage to beat this disease on their own. there are numerous methods and medications on offer presently , to help you overcome this disease, may i suggest that before you embark on any course of action speak to a professional addiction councilor. there is no right way of going about this, everyone is different and there are various triggers and emotional influences on why we drink it is complex and requires the input of someone with experience to set you on the right path to overcoming this disease , it is not easy but can be done, there is living proof all around us in the number of people in recovery nowadays, i wish you all the best on your journey and keep reaching out, there is plenty of help and support out there - you are not alone in this battle .

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