I can't take this no more!*

Posted , 4 users are following.

I just can't! Mood swings are on daily bases... Few days ago I was about to commit suicide and today I'm the happiest and careless person in the world...

WHY CAN'T I GO TO BLOODY STORE AND GET PSILOCYN MUSHROOMS. WHEN I DO SHROOMS ONCE A MONTH I'M NORMAL:I SLEEP, I EAT, I DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL, I DON'T DO DRUGS. 

These days I drink at night so can fall asleep, cause I need to work early in the morning.

F*** all of this bipolar f****** crap, I'm screaming right now, I can't take this sh*t no more!

I workout regulary, I'm in good shape... it's not helping, I'm destroying my life, I do stupid things, I can't control this... I'm a nice guy, never doing harm to anybody and still all are turning back on me...And these racing thoughts... will You f****** stop... I want my head to be empty... I laugh when I see ppl on the street with headphones and mp3 players thinking: my "head mp3" is playing music (you name it) ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT IT'S PLAYLIST IS BLOODY RANDOM AND I CAN'T STOP IT.

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi there

    I so feel for you.  I'm bipolar too, diagnosed years ago and stable now for ages thanks to a great psychitraist and gp, are you on any meds for your bipolar? do you have a psychiatyrist? And what do you mean about mushrooms? That bit I don't understand

    All good wishes

    Lizzie

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  • Posted

    Hi babe.

    I understand and really get where you are coming from as far as the mania and then the crashing depression goes.  I have been bipolar for many years , in fact it was still called manic depression when I was diagnosed way back then.  One thing I must say to you is be carefull when it comes to substances you prescribe for yourself.  Though they may seem to help in the short term, in the long run, I can say from experience that they tend to make the high's and lows much worse. Then you end up like me, struggling to withdraw from a nasty drug called methadone.  It is so easy to get sucked into something which seems to help for a while, and we all think we can handle things and never get hooked. But it doesn't take long to get a habit, then you have the added problem of the bipolar to live with plus the additioal problem of illegal drugs to deal with.  Sorry, don't want to sound like an old granny, but I've been where you are now, and if I can save you from the misery I am going through now, I just have to say something. Mushrooms especially, can cause psychosis, which is always just around the corner for people with bipolar.  Much love and luck to you.

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  • Posted

    What are you saying this think you need to go to the doctors so they can diagose this properly, don't think you should be like this your not really helping yourself hope you get sorted.
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  • Posted

    Just to add to my previous reply. It does sound as if your bipolar is not being very well controlled at the moment.  It may be helpful to go back to your GP and explain how you are feeling. Be honest and tell him about the mushrooms. I am sure he won't be shocked. As I said before, many people with bipolar self-medicate.  It does sound as if you need your medication looking at again. I'm sure there is something that can be done to help you cope a little better.  It can take quite a while to get you on the correct meds.  Take care pet.
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