I CANT STOP RUMINATING AND OBSESSING, HELP?!
Posted , 10 users are following.
Okay so basically for the past three months I've completely shut down. I don't feel like myself at all, and I keep thinking crazy and weird stuff 24/7 that nobody else would think about. I literally can't do anything at all, I can't even have a conversation with someone without spacing out. I do this thing where I'll start worrying I'll think about something, and then I'll think I'm thinking about that thing, but then I realize I'm just thinking about thinking about that thing. Does that make sense? I just have to many constant thoughts that it's even hard to keep track of what I'm even thinking about. My thoughts just have so many layers to them, it's insane. I feel crazy all the time and knowing that other people don't think nearly as much as me and don't have the thoughts I have is always in the back in my mind. I also always try and figure things out in my head. Like if other people think like me. Like I'll actually try and imagine myself as that other person in my head to see if they'd possibly be able to think the way I do. And now I have trouble understanding things I used to be able to understand because I think about them so much. Like the question "how is everybody different?" I used to be able to understand that because I didn't think twice about it, but now I cant stop dissecting and overanalyzing questions like that. I am continuously trying to figure things out in my head it's horrible. And I also have thing thing where I'll get a thought, and then I'll be aware that I'm having the thought, and then I'll realize that I'm aware of having that thought, and then I'll think about how I'm realizing that I am aware of having the thought I had, and then after all that in my head I'll try and understand how I even was able to get to that point in my head. Like i'll try to imagine it. Ugh I probably sound like a complete lunatic right now. That's how bad my overthinking is. I think it might be OCD, because I've had it since I was a little kid, but never like this. I was never this self aware and self analyzing with my OCD. My OCD actually went away for a couple of years, I mean I still had it but it wasn't nearly as bad as now. I think now it's just pure o OCD, because my compulsions are almost always purley in my head where I have to figure things out and imagine things constantly, and I literally mean constantly. I was just dealing with social anxiety, and that sort of went away too, but then this crap happened. And honestly, I'd rather just have the social anxiety than this. Like it's so bad now I can't even function. Now I also have this idea in my head that I can't shake off from reading stuff online. I have to literally watch everything I do, because if I don't I feel like I'm not really being me and I feel like I'm living and thinking without noticing I am, which scares me. Does that make sense? It's like I have to literally watch every single thought I have as they come in because it feels like my brain is just processing information and it's not really me that's thinking the things I think about. Whenever I start to think about something I catch myself and my mind will go "you're distracted" because I feel like the thoughts I have are just my brain processing information and it's not really me wanting to think the things I think about. I know that sounds completely ridiculous but I don't know how to get this out of my head. It's driving. Me. Crazy. I also get thoughts saying things like " maybe we're all not really consious. Maybe it's just our brains controlling what thoughts we have and who we are and we have no control over it". I need serious help. I try to tell myself that this along with the other billion thoughts I have are just brain junk and aren't true, but I just can't seem to let any of it go. What should I do??
1 like, 14 replies
alan56015 bri_46992
Posted
Hi. I have the same problem and can never relax. I think of random people I know from the past and they are looking and judging me at my flat. A kind of paranoia. I've been told it's anxiety but I get awful physical symptoms too like constant head pressure and ringing in the ears. I suffer from major bouts of depression and always imagine I wish I was doing or being somewhere else all the time. I have been on 100mg sertraline for the past 8 weeks but not feeling too great. You should go to GP and seek counselling as I'm sure it's not normal or healthy to be feeling like we do. Good luck
bri_46992 alan56015
Posted
I'm actually starting to take sertraline as well, but I'm scared too keep taking it cuz I'm afraid that it'll change my brain permanently. I've read a lot of articles online about how it changes the brain structure or whatever. My dad and therapist say that it isn't true and that after I withdraw from it little by little it should be fine, but I still don't know. Do u think I should take it? How is the sertraline affecting u?
sheldon63577 bri_46992
Posted
Fist I will say that you are not alone. I don't go through exactly what you are but similar. I overanalyze alot, and I sometimes have the same thoughts that you are having with life and how our mind works and just everything like that. How I see it is that it is all amazing, even though we can't understand it it still exists and we live in it. Don't worry about what you can't control such as how we are conscious and such, I know me saying that won't stop you, you have to stop you. And you are most defiantly not crazy. I would recommend if you have someone to talk to irl to talk to then about this, or wright more about it, somtimes for me explaining my thoughts to other people and getting them to understand it can help alot. I know a few months ago I obsessed over entropy, how everything depends into chaos. Then when I was able to explain it to people and have them understand what I meant it kinda want away. so just let it out is what I would say, get it out of your system, keeping it in there and thinking about it over and over again I don't think would solve the problem, it will just keep on putting it through the same system and repeat.
bri_46992 sheldon63577
Posted
I know ur right trying to continuously figure it out will just make it worse, but I just can't stop. It's so hard. I try and tell myself it's just a thought, that what I'm thinking about is false, but I just can't seem to let it go. I know I'm making it worse for myself because I'm just very stubborn like that and won't give up until I find some type of answer or whatever. I have talked to my dad and therapist about my thoughts and what I think about, and it does help to get it out. I just talked to my dad about them and I do feel a little better actually, but it's still in the back of my mind. I'm gonna try and keep doing that, though, and I'm gonna keep trying my best not to over analyze things. Thank u so much for your reply.
sheldon63577 bri_46992
Posted
You are welcome, all you can do is try, just know that these feelings can't last forever, they will LEAVE at some point and you WILL, feel better. It just sometimes takes time. Live on. The way I see it is when it feels like you are going through hell and back it just means that something good is on its way, the universe has a strange way of working and messing with you. It will get better trust me.
merianna13804 bri_46992
Posted
Hi Bri,
I think your right on target with the pure O and feeling of depersonalization. Wonder if you have been under increased stress? Are you on medications for the OCD? Do you have an attending psychiatrist? Meds and a specialized type of cognitive therapy can help. Please don't dispare. The condition is treatable. Since you say you have been basically shut down for the past 3 months I would seek consultation with a psychiatrist or specialized nurse practionier who can evaluate and prescribe as necessary. I will try to private e mail you as I understand we can not mention other internet resources on this site.
bri_46992 merianna13804
Posted
Well I am transitioning from high school to college and I've always been pretty bad with change, so that could be what is causing me this distress. I did think I had derealization because it just hit me out of nowhere, and I just didn't feel myself. I was perfectly fine before it happened too and didn't even feel stressed out at all. It could of been subconsious though, I don't know. Because I read online that derealization could even happen when you're not particularly feeling stressed out, so I guess that is what happened to me. It was horrible the first week it happened though, I didn't want to eat, or even get up to do anything, I just sat and stared into space, thinking and not knowing what was going on with me. I just felt really different, and just really disconnected from everything. My brain felt so foggy and heavy, I could barely even type one sentence for my homework. My brain felt like it was paralyzed. I'm not experiencing that anymore, but now I just cant. stop. thinking. literally. at all. Its horrible. And I am starting to take setraline, but I'm just kinda scared to keep taking it. I have taken it before, but I would skip days and sometimes pretend to take it. I also drank with it on top of that. I thought I was starting to feel better though, but i didn't think it was the setraline because i barely took it and drank with it. But now after I stopped taking it all together, I feel even worse. I still wasn't that better before, but I was a lot better than now. So maybe it was the setraline, I don't know. I'm just praying this will go away before I start college, because I don't want to ruin my life over this. Anyways, thanks for your reply.
vanessa45115 bri_46992
Posted
The first thing I would suggest is to seek out therapy. It's a life saver. They are trained to educate us on how to correctly handle these situations. I'm on meds, I go to therapy, deep breathing, meditation, etc. Our brains are wired to detect fear so that our bodies can react accordingly. We over analyze every single thought that pops in our head, it's very hard to get away from doing this. I have intrusive thoughts with my disorder which frightens me to the core of my existence. With everything else that I'm doing plus my meds, I'm hoping that the thoughts will soon fade away. You're never alone with this, even though it always feels that way.
bri_46992 vanessa45115
Posted
I have intrusive thoughts, too. They're horrible. Some of the ones I get don't even make sense. But they are really bad. I'm sorry that you have to go through that, because they can get very overwhelming. A lot of times they just pop in my head whenever I'm around my family and other people, and it drives me crazy. Then I start to feel guilty for thinking those things and feel like if they ever knew I thought those things they'd think I'm crazy. I tell them I get intrusive thoughts about killing people in general, but I don't tell them I get those thoughts about them. It just makes me feel so so guilty and like im crazy. But I know that this isn't true, because it's just our brains reminding us not to think those things since we're so against it. But I still feel guilty otherwise. I'm also hoping mine will go away as well along with the overanalyzing stuff with the meds, exersise, and meditation. Thanks for your reply, it's good to know I'm not the only one and that you understand where I'm coming from with my thoughts.
vanessa45115 bri_46992
Posted
Oh my gosh, I have the exact thoughts!! I can't believe it, I finally found someone who I can relate to and who can relate to me. Thanks for sharing that.
ilyar03542 bri_46992
Posted
I am 27 and I relate my condition so strong to yours. As I was younger I had stupid intrusive thought which ruined months of my life but eventually those went away without even me taking a notice.
You dont have to be embarressed or even frighthen of the negative thoughs. I believe the source of negative thought is that some people value friends family or their mental capabilities in thier life so much that they start to get obsessed by thoughts of losing them or screwing the condition for themselves.
The fact that you care about people or certain stuff is acutally shows how decent you are as a person and that you have goals!
I have overcome the the negative thought until recently that It become worsen beacuse of a drug induced panic attack so I suggest you since you are like-minded to stay away from recreational drugs that might cause you to have a panic attack such as weed, unfortunately weed is a big no-no for anxious people.
As a side note I apologize for my English as I am not native.
Have a good day!
andrew10678 bri_46992
Posted
Hey I was womdering if it went away over time. I've been going through this for a week now and its driving me crazy
tamara23 andrew10678
Posted
karen457 bri_46992
Posted
Hi I notice this is an old post, I am feeling exactly like you describe. It's driving me mad. Just wondering if you managed to sort this out if so how?