I close eyes and start dreaming. Complex sleep. What should I do?

Apologies for the long post. (I had to write this twice as the session timed out the first time 😦 )

TLDR; my sleep is broken, I dream so much that I live 2 lives, one in reality and one in dreams, this affects my ability to function. Would be grateful if you can help.

I have been having sleep problems for over four years. Did not have any of these before. Some of the symptoms are intermittent, also vary in severity.

Background:

I am 24 years old, from India, been living in UK for 2 years. Sometime four years ago, at once, I started having many health issues like anxiety, depression, muscle aches and so on. The only diagnosed issue until now is Hypothyroidism ( sub-clinical). I take 12.5 mcg thyroxine per day and I am told it is in control. But from that time on, my sleep was crazy.

Main Issues:

1. My memory. I can remember the specifics but everything seems like a hangover all the time. "Oh, wait is it yesterday that I visited my friend for dinner? That seems like so long ago or never happened. But yeah, yesterday is Monday, so yes it is yesterday then" Especially after a really bad sleep, whether a nap or night's sleep, I seem to forget things. There have been so many instances of this, now-a-days I explicitly use memory techniques to remember things.
2. I feel very weak most of the time. My muscles are weak and I always feel out of balance. Especially after a bad sleep. I shake a lot, even in sleep. In tube station, I always stand far from the platform as I feel I might lose balance and fall down. My only way of curing weakness is if I sleep. I don't feel very sleepy but rather tired and dizzy, I usually go to washroom at work and try to sleep. If I manage to sleep for 30 mins or so, I feel amazingly productive for some hours at least.
3. Generally, on my bed, as soon as I close my eyes, I start dreaming. Sometimes, in less than a minute. I am kind of half awake then. This happens even more during day time naps. The number of dreams I get during sleep are amazing. I can write 5-6 pages of dreams as soon as I wake up everyday. I dream are similar to my thoughts if I were awake. But I get confused with dream or reality sometimes. Sometimes, my dream about something seems so real, for example, "I dreamt that my co-worker became my manger and I worked under him for many years. The next day, I felt I know him so much better though I don't really know him much. I have some dream where my family is present. Morning, if I get a call from them, I feel that I have been talking to them for so long though in reality, I haven't spoke to them in a while.". I have a journal of almost 50 pages of dreams, I intentionally stopped writing them now.
4. I toss and wake up multiple times in sleep. I shake and have tremors kind of things sometimes.
5. Anxiety, depression: I would say I was very depressed and anxious for almost 3 years but not now. But whenever my sleep is bad, they become worse.
6. Could be unrelated: My digestion is very bad, stomach gets upset almost every day. I am hypermobile. I get crashed whenever I drink coffee. I have asthma, but mainly while I exercise.

Attempted Diagnosis/Treatment:

1. One doctor suspected UARS(upper airway resistance syndrome) and I underwent a surgery for deviated septum. Didn't help much.
2. I underwent polysomnography in India and doctor said I have mild sleep apnea and MSLT of 11 mins, but he said its not narcolepsy. He gave me paroxetene and modafinyl. modafinyl didnt help but paroxetene helped a bit, see next section.
3. After coming to London, I ordered a home sleep study for 3 nights and it suggested I have mild to moderate sleep apnea. I visited sleep clinic in London, when doctor tested twice, I am told I don't have any at all. He referred me to another clinic suspecting narcolepsy.
4. There, unfortunately I had the best sleep on my polysomnography night and doctor said everything was good, I don't have any characteristics of narcolepsy. Most interesting thing is, I dreamt a lot in one of my day time naps, but I am told I did not enter REM then. I am advised to have proper sleep hygiene and nothing else.
5. I self referred to a CBT therapist and told him all this, he thinks I just have health anxiety. This can definitely seem like one to him, but there is no way this is just anxiety. I can bet there is some issue.

Paroxetene:

I am given paroxetene by Indian doctor, I tried it for a month. Usually I feel very irritated after sleep but that made me feel fresh. But it made me so much drowsy. I then slowly stopped taking it, but then had the worst side effects ever. I couldn't sleep for more than 2 hours straight, I got so many nightmares and night terrors, I woke up screaming so many times. One night, I woke up, sang a song and slept. All these scared me so much I told my GP and she asked me to retake paroxetene for 6 months. But I am so scared I did not take again. This is 2 months ago, I still have the withdrawal effects now though I am getting better.

What helps me:

1. Sleeping a lot. If I sleep close to 9 hours, I feel much better. 7 hours or less, I am zombie the next day.
2. Naps in office. It is difficult because I am not really sleepy, but after a nap, I feel so much better.
3. Exercise helps a lot, though most of the times I cannot exercise because I am so weak because of bad sleep the previous night.
4. Positive attitude, meditation and breathing exercises help. After 3 years of suffering, I learned to use my very little energetic time efficiently and I do quite well in my office work now. Whenever I am feeling well, I try to be the most productive, happy, social.

Need help on:

1. Anyone knows what is happening to me? I am living a nightmare, (both literally and figuratively). My memory is worst, energy the least, muscles the weakest and I dream the most.
2. I am definitely depressed for 2-3 years. But for the last one year, I am very positive. I do have my lows now and then, but it is mostly because of bad physical health rather than the other way round.
3. Any suggestions on paroxetene? I have a hope it might cure everything, but the withdrawal symptoms give me shivers even now. I am afraid if it might go wrong and cause permanent neural damage.

Thanks a lot in advance.

0 likes, 8 replies