I don't feel like myself
Posted , 8 users are following.
This is bizzare, and I don't really know how to dsescribe it. I'm sitting here, and my music sounds foreign to me, the TV behind me and every little sounds begins to send pure anger to me. Every little step, every little sound on my keyboard, it's all making me mad. It feels like I've lost control, and that I'm not myself anymore. I don't know if it's an anxiety attack, or what... but it's so odd. As I'm typing this, it feels like my hands are just moving, and I just see them moving. I'm at a loss for words, as I don't know how to describe this feeling, I get this feeling like maybe once every other week, or so. I do take mental meds for anxiety, and etc... and I did recently see my psychiatrist and he didn't find anything off, but he did up my medication on one med, but this was over a week ago... so this shouldn't be the cause. Anything that y'all would know would help me... thank you!
1 like, 2 replies
karen32905 Scriptor
Posted
I only ask as when my Mirtazapine was increased it sent my anxiety soaring through the roof!
infestissumam Scriptor
Posted
Have you heard of depersonalization (DP) and derealization (DR)? Their basic definitions are: DP is when you don't feel connected to yourself (mentally or physically) and DR is when nothing around you feels real. I have struggled with both DP and DR since a child. DP to me feels like my mind was put into someone else's body- like my movements are happening without my conscious control and I'm just watching them happen. It also makes it feel like my personal belongings and familiar places are foreign even though I logically know they are mine and are familiar. DR feels like.... I'm in a dream. It feels like if I reach out and try to touch something my hand would pass through it. For whatever reason, sometimes things look too big or small or the colors aren't right when this happens. In my case there is no physical cause. DP and DR are classified dissociative disorders and more common than many people might think. If you think this is what you're dealing with there are tons of forums about this and things that may help.
DP and DR are common during panic/anxiety attacks but if they exist outside of them then it's probably DPDR as its own disorder, which I have. During this state you might be easily overwhelmed by noise which can make you angry- sensory overload is common with anxiety and DPDR as you're already not in a good state of mind and the smallest things can push you over the edge. When you feel like this, you can try grounding techniques to hopefully help you return to feeling like you're part of your body and help you to calm down. It took me some time to find ones that worked for me but it's worth it!
How long have you had this recurrent feeling? It's definitely worth bringing up to your psych doctor if you have one, I don't know if a family/general doctor will be able to help you with this one. Therapy would be beneficial if you aren't already seeing a therapist (and if you have one you don't like, try to switch if you can). Best of luck to you, you can message me if you want!