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i don't know how to make myself feel better

Posted , 6 users are following.

brooke125
brooke125

I have so much wrong with me. I have dysthymia, social anxiety, and ocd. My social anxiety is something that bothers me knowing that I can't even start conversations with other people first. I tend to have a "I won't talk to you unless you talk to me" attitude but not in a stuck up way if that makes sense? it's more like me saying I can't initiate a conversation or else i'll panic and feel like I said something that makes no sense even if it's just a simple "hello". I've been depressed for a while now, over a year almost two. i can be depressed every day but still have a laugh too. after laughing the depression comes back immediately like it was always there i just never acknowledged it until that exact moment. I don't know how I feel anymore. I can't remember the last time I was happy for more than a few hours. I can be happy but it won't last a full day. at this point i think i just don't know who i am anymore. I have thoughts about the things that made me happy at one point, things that included my future, etc. but i can't see myself being happy doing those things even then. i know thats common with depression but it still worries me because i don't want this to interfere with my plans for the future. I feel like i'm going crazy slowly. i have emotions but then again i don't. it's like I'm overwhelmed but at the same time i feel nothing. i don't know what to do anymore. I get my depression due to heredity. both my parents suffer from depression and my dad suffered from anxiety as well but his was much worse than mine. he often had panic attacks and that was combined with his depression. he committed suicide and i don't want to go down that path. i feel like i will because my anxiety and depression is getting worse with each passing day and i really don't know how to stop it.

1 like, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • edwina97301
    edwina97301 brooke125

    Posted

    Hi Brooke. Have you told your gp how you are feeling. Sure with your family background they would offer you therapy and discuss other options. I relate exactly to how you feel. Avoiding socialising, always thinking theworst. If I did laugh I would then think' why am I laughing when next minute I'm going to feel depressed or anxious? I started avoiding everything but then got to the point I had to tell my gp ,and was so relieved when he told me this was quite common and there was help and most of all I wasn't going mad. Please speak to your gp, also speak to someone close, it helps to confide in someone and not live in your own head, driving yourself mad. This forum is great as people actually understand how you are feeling , 😊??

  • jan34534
    jan34534 brooke125

    Posted

    Hello Brooke. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Depression is like a black hole and believe me, I've been there. 

     I had social anxiety even in kindergarten and all through grade school, high school and even college. I know that it's absolutely genetic because I had a wonderful family life at home with my parents growing up. But the minute I went to school, I clammed upand never spoke a word.  There was no reason for me to be like that except that I was born that way

     It was horrible because I never really developed my personalityin school because it's like I didn't know who I was because of the crippling shyness.  I started talking a little more as I got older but never felt confident in myself and always worried what other people thought. 

    I did speak tocounselors along the way which helped because it's difficult keeping all of thisbottled up.

    Have you ever thought about speaking with a counselor or trying medication for depression? Depression is very difficult to manage all alone because our mindtends to go to the negative and we need someone else to redirect us and help pull us out of  this. 

    I know how horrible itcan feel, but I do know not to ever ever give up hope. I have been throughabsolutely terrible feelings of isolation and negative thinking for many years. But I also know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have good days and not so gooddays. But I love life. I love my family. And like I said counseling does help a lot . 

    There are someexcellent audio meditations on YouTube for depression, anxiety, sleep, etc.  I listen to these every day and they help you put things in perspective. They also have some great positive affirmations that I listen to also. 

    You don't have togo down the same path that your father talk and I don't think he would want you to. 

    There is lots of help out there! 

    Don't try to do this on your own, get some support! 

    Here is a numberyou can call 24 seven just to speak with someone when you're feeling down. They may also be able to provide you with some resources. They are excellent 1-800-273-8255

    One day you will look back and be glad you found support. Life is definitely worth living! 

    I do hope you feel better and please let us know how you're doing 🌸🌸🌸😁

  • Svig044
    Svig044 brooke125

    Posted

    Hi Brooke please get help.  Talk to friends and family. ❤️
  • kerry41369
    kerry41369 brooke125

    Posted

    I've gotten to the stage that I can't even put in to words how I'm feeling anymore. But this is it. This is exactly how I'm feeling. And I'm scared. I feel like I'm not even living in the real world anymore.

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