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I don't know what's wrong with me anymore

Posted , 7 users are following.

willow0413
willow0413

Hello, this is my first time here, and I've always felt like there was something wrong with me, mentally. I never really mentioned it to my parents because I don't want to seem like some attention crazed person, but I've dropped some hints regarding my want to see some sort of psychiatrist or something to see it there's anything wrong with me. I don't want to come off as some attention starved teenager, but I just really want some sort of clarification, to just know if what I'm feeling constantly is just hormones, or something else, like a disorder. I've done my research, and my best guess (if I even have a disorder) is that I'm bipolar. Still, I'm not 100% sure. I just want to know if there's anyway to know if there's something wrong with me, hopefully without the need to talk to a psychiatrist, therapist, psychologist, etc. with pay. Thanks. Feedback is appreciated and welcomed with desperate and open arms.

3 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • verity56501
    verity56501 willow0413

    Posted

    Hi, I am not medically trained. It could just be your age as you say you are a teenager. Mood swings hormones etc. Bipolar you have extreme highs then extreme lows? If you feel like you can't talk to parents about this then your next step would be to talk to a doctor. They Can help you and refer you to a psychiatrist if need be. Hope you feel better soon x

    • willow0413
      willow0413 verity56501

      Posted

      thanks for the help, but i'm too shy to actually ask for a doctor's referral to a psychiatrist. i'm more interested to talking to an online doctor, and without pay. 

  • verity56501
    verity56501 willow0413

    Posted

    Me to..... I think my illness has stemmed from me being shy. I new something was wrong with me but I was to shy to get help. Being shy has always held me back from living a life I want to. I had a mental breakdown at 30 I'm now 32 and still not recovered from this. If you don't want to speak face to face to a doctor you could ask for a telephone appointment and tell them you are to shy and you would prefer over the phone. A doctor will always recommend before medication to exercise self help meditation yoga etc. If to you are like me to shy to join groups etc you can do this from your room from videos internet etc. Your mental health state is A lot worse if you suffer alone trust me, the good thing with you is you have recognised the signs. Failing all that I used to get my mum to ring the doctor and explain things for me and come to appointments with me and let her do the talking. Xx

    • willow0413
      willow0413 verity56501

      Posted

      THAnk you so much, your answer really makes me feel i can get through this. Thanks!!!

       

  • stephie2
    stephie2 willow0413

    Posted

    I would pluck up the courage to sit your parents down and have a chat with them about how you are feeling.  It is not about attention seeking but if you feel that you are struggling then they need to know.  You would be surprised how much they will want to help.  As a parent myself if any of my children had a problem I would want them to come to me and luckily as young adults now they have done in the past. 

    Talk to your parents, you may be surprised just how much they will help and understand.

    • willow0413
      willow0413 stephie2

      Posted

      thank you for using your time to even bother replying to me and my pathetic problems

      sorry in advance for the long text, really, im really really sorry

      part of myself knows that they will be understanding and accommodating when i will talk to them of my condition(?) but im afraid of what they will say. You see, im quite a reader of fanfiction, and i sometimes get these moments of mania where i just laugh, sounding forced but in a crazed way? and it just disappears, leaving me slightly out of breath and light headed, much like deja vu  (i cant quite make sense what i was laughing about after those few moments of mania). I also cant sleep at night, constantly shifting on my bed, not able to be in a comfortable position. I also get these times (especially after a stressful thing happened in school or my mother said something a little hurtful to me, whose words just keep on repeating itself in my head) and i just reflect on them badly, then i resort to scratching my hands and arms as hard as i can and biting my arms and hands, and crying a lot. Im afraid that if i talk to my parents, they might ask me what caused all this "mental stuff" and might ban me from fanfiction(sometimes i think its one of the only things keeping me sane at this point), and keep a watch on me when i sleep (the time when i reflect and cry), preventing me from properly crying everything out and venting out all my feelings. I also draw and write poems a lot(my way of expressing myself), but sadly my parents arent exactly respecting of my privacy, and im constantly paranoid, 'what if theyre looking in my sketch book / notebook for poems right now(this has happened before, my eyes wer puffy the next day, i felt like as if i was sexually violated, but worse, somehow, dont ask)' and drawing and writing is also one of the things that still keep me sane. so if i talk to them about seeing a doctor, im also afraid that theyll snoop into my stuff (sketchbook most of all) and i really dont want that to happen, because i swear, if they look at all my drawings and poems slowly, Im afraid of what i'll do to myself

      again, im sorry

    • stephie2
      stephie2 willow0413

      Posted

      Firstly your problems are not pathetic and secondly you have nothing to be sorry about smile

      If you find it difficult to sit them down could you not write down how you are feeling and give that to them to let them know exactly how you are feeling?  Can I ask how old you are?

      I would ask them for their support but also be honest with them and ask them to respect your privacy.  I think it is important that you all communicate as a family to solve any problems that you have.

    • willow0413
      willow0413 stephie2

      Posted

      oh my goodness your reply made my day!! i honestly thought that you weren't going to reply, but im 14, going 15. Thank you for all your advice, i hope that i could get the courage to do as you have suggested.

    • stephie2
      stephie2 willow0413

      Posted

      You are most welcome.  You are so young and there are lots of emotions going on in your body right now.  You really do need some support and you could always go and see your GP too if you don't feel that you can turn to your parents.

  • Sammantha82
    Sammantha82 willow0413

    Posted

    Hi, i agree with everyone else reccomending you speak to your GP, they cant inform your family or anyone else without your consent so you dont have to worry they will tell your parents. There are also a few places specially for people your age where you can go to for advice, now dont laugh, but the majority of them are advitised as places for teenage sex advice, condoms etc but most also deal with what you need advice on. They are completely anonymous if you dont want to give your name. Diagnosing yourself off the internet is a running joke for a reason, and not all online doctors are what they say they are. Good luck 
  • tarannum91602
    tarannum91602 willow0413

    Posted

    mood depends on hormones. I think u needs some true friends. with whom you can enjoy your life.and do whatever you want to do.love the peoples around you.And do atleast one good work in a day may that you can proud yourself.

  • user116
    user116 willow0413

    Posted

    i feel the exact same way and this is a first. i dont understand myself. it feel like theres something rly wrong with me but it could just be all in my head like everything. idk who i rly am or what i am or if im ok or just being dumb. i feel so dumb for how i feel. i just wanna know whats wrong. sorry to dump that ik its not a helpful reply i just needed to get it out lol

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