I don’t know what to do anymore
Posted , 4 users are following.
I'm just so tired of everything that's happening. I'm not happy with the way my life is going.
I feel like, no matter what I do, I'm always going to be trapped within a vicious cycle of stress and anxiety that will tear me up and beat me down at every step of the way. When its not with working in a job I don't particularly enjoy, or the university subjects that stress me and everyone else out, my obsessive tendencies seem to find something to get worried over. Conspiracy theories, politics, the current war in the middle east, you name it.
Even when I'm not actively reading about these things I constantly obsess over them in my mind. I feel like I cant form my own opinions on anything relayed to this stuff because it will be wrong somehow. Even when I try to rationalise with my own brain I always get this feeling like I haven't done enough research and, even when I've wasted hours of my life continuously researching through things, I haven't even scratched the surface of what I'm currently obsessing over, and any opinion inform will be wrong in some way. And the people positing these conspiracy theories, these political rhetorics, you name it are just some of the most unpleasant, nihilistic, unempathetic, egotistical people that make me feel stupid or immoral for even conceiving that there's another rational explanation for something.
I can't stop thinking about these horrible things no matter what I do to take my mind off of them. Not that I can take my mind off of them anyway. I know people say that turning my obsessions over to more positive outlets can be helpful, I do have some hobbies like drawing, bike riding, gaming, etc, but lately I just can't bring myself to do them as much as I want to. I just cant find the energy to do these things most times and, even when I do, I usually feel underwhelmed.
I feel like no matter what I do the things in my life that brought me joy just don't give me the same spark that they once did. Even when I find something new that I might find joy in, I've always got to ruin it somehow by trying to find out if what I like is somehow immoral or made by terrible people.
I just can't take this anymore. I just feel trapped in this endless rut of negativity, and I just don't know how to escape from it.
0 likes, 1 reply
sam18386 Hamish10125
Posted
hi Hamish, have you seen anyone/spoken to anyone about these obsessive behaviours? Maybe some talking might help you to find some ways to cope with it? Concentrate. on you, you can't mend everything, you are you and as such you can only do so much.... a step at a time and be a bit kind to yourself, what have you got to lose?