I don't know whats happening

Hi

Sandy if you really think you are going to mill yourself you must get yourself to a doctor

I have the same feelings although not as acutely as you describe and I have young twins and one thing I cannot do is leave them ..... it would destroy them

You cannot risk it

Phil

I feel for you as i can relate to your situation , though it is not my GP who is the problem but the Community Mental Health Team who i am under , they are fully aware that i am feeling very suicidal but they have chosen to ignore it likewise ignore me these past months . MIND Charity told me to go to my local A&E an tell them i was feeling suicidal an they would get the Crisis Team to see me , when i was in A&E a couple of years ago the staff there were non-judgemental , kind , caring . Also i was told to ring NHS 111 an tell them i was feeling suicidal an they would get help to me . I realise though sadly that NHS Trusts differ from County to County an some areas may be more understanding then others . We tell those who we think should know we are feeling suicidal an then we take our life , those who we have told ( GP for example ) then give the usual generic "We didn't think they were serious" about us . Have you got anyone who can sit with you tomorrow night ? , it is a hard battle we fight , please try an take care , thoughts are with you an i do hope you get the help you so deserve xx

Have you thought of distracting yourself or have a friend come over/ talking to someone all night. 

I hope you can fiugure out some coping skills! ^-^

Yona~

Hi Sandy - i know just how you feel. It is exasperating to scream for help in all directions and be treated as if you are a drama queen, putting it on, or just another case of attention seeking. I wonder if you have called a suicide prevention line? You desperately need to speak to someone who can help and give you some avenues to explore other than the ones you have tried. I know it is a hard truth and a burden to consider, but you must think of the kids. They will be devestated if you follow through with suicide. It will be a permanent thing - you won't wake up from it after able to start again. If you are frightened of falling over the cliff, get yourself to the hospital quick smart. Meanwhile, you will have to arrange fro the welfare of your kids in case you are sectioned in a psychiatric ward to address your problem. Are you medicated? Perhaps they can be changed?

 writing is tthe right thing but not explanatory suicide notes. Instead you write down all your thoughts and feelings and the writing becomes like therapy. Other than that you need to go t the doctor and get stronger and better anti depressants those you are taking to my mind are weak. I am a great advocate of gabapentin for anxiety replacing diazipam(which is addictive) and is just as effective and an anti depressant, you can take very high doses of it with no danger they give it to children and animals. TRy is and change the meds, good luck and hold on there.