I don't know whats wrong with me or even if something is what do you think ?

i feel a bit of happiness and sadness but nether anything extreme and it dawned on me when a couple of friends said to me "you never seem excited about anything" and i couldn't think of the last time i was excited (i don't think i ever have been) all the times i thought i was excited  looking back on it i was just anxious, 

i'm currently jobless and feel no motivation to get a job  but i'm not in bed all day crying or anything,

sometimes i cant tell if i think of other people or not, like why am i nice to them  am i nice to them cos im a nice person or is it i like them being near me (like am i actully nice or just selfish) 

I'm also 27 and cant stand up to my mother (who does view me as a disappointment because of no job. liking games, drawing and anime)so she ends up yelling at me calling me lazy selfish self obsessed and fat and claims I'm the cause of the depression and anxiety in her life(close friends tell me to grow up and yell back, but i just can't do that).

and i think to myself "i sound depressed"(not suicidal though) but then i think I'm just looking for an excuse for my laziness  and i get caught in a spiral of self analysing and being disappointed in myself for trying to find an excuse for myself.

All this makes me incredibly confused what do you  think ?  thank you for your answers in advanced 

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