I don't think I'll make it this time....

Posted , 9 users are following.

I have struggled with Depression for 30 years but I'm sooo tired of this life, the fight to be ok which is a fight that I keep losing. My Psychiatrist recently changed my meds due to side affects but the new medication hasn't begun to work yet. I'm so sad, weepy, lonely, tired and my mind is all screwed up. My thoughts are completely scrambled. I think that these are not my thoughts but the depressions thoughts. I've been in hospital 3 times and don't believe it will help this time. I plan to get my affairs in order before I do anything. I just can't keep dealing with this kind of a life. I am on this site because for the time being it is the best part of my reality.

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    I was in a really really bad place Saturday but reached out on this site and to my sister. I didn't realize the support and encouragement that I would receive. It really is helping. I am listening to their words instead of my crazy depressive thoughts. I am thinking that if they all think I can get better then maybe they're right (and my thoughts are wrong which aren't really my thoughts but my illness talking). I am taking things one step at a time. When I feel low I get on this site or get in my car and go be around people who care about me. It really is helping.

    For anyone suffering with depression like me, then please hang in there. Use any available resources that help you feel better. Find people who care about you and trust that you do indeed matter.


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