I don’t want to be alive.
Posted , 3 users are following.
i remember the first time i started to feel depressed. my mom had me moving up and down california becuase she was sexually confused man or woman all my life i watched the other woman and her put hands on each other. the first time i actually felt like just dying was when my parents had me move the second time seventh eighth grade maybe it went away for awhile or i got used to it becuase highschool was worse and i realized i didnt have to be there
i stopped going started smoking weed and stealing it from my mother till i was taken to my dads across california where i met my now future ex husband my depression and anixety ruined that relationship i was trigged by everything and everything was my fault i had ruined his life by having the baby and i was doing it again every day
i asked for the divorce i cheated on him after asking for the divorce
i was done feeling like i forced him to be with me since i was 15
we even tired again he'd joke about how he was going to see his girlfriend i could see the happiness in his eyes again from highschool it wasnt a joke
i asked him to be nicer to me or just nice in general and he broke up with me right then and there in the messages
i think shes going to do great after im gone hes going to marry amd she will get a new parent whod love her x10
i dont have a ged driverslicense place to live family that wants to help
i believe that if i kill my self now she will forget me shes young
nothing good has ever happened to me birthdays just stopped one day and i was the one everyone told ever single holiday its all your fault
its time i made it easier for everyone
ive even accepted the fact that you dont wake up nothing happens its as if i never exsited
0 likes, 1 reply
jan34534 juliet2400
Posted
you don’t need to let other people have such an affect on you that you want to end your life. You had issues with your mother and your ex-husband but that doesn’t mean that you should end your life just because of bad experiences.
What you need is support right now. you have a child who needs her mother. Nobody can take your place.
If you take your life, she will always wonder why you didn’t want to be with her. She will wonder if it was her fault that you did this. That is so sad.
you won’t make it easier for her or anyone else. It would place a burden on her when she’s old enough to understand.
If it were me, I would fight with everything I had and not let others pull me down.
I would fight for my daughter and get the help that I need to start feeling a little bit better, and then a little more better, etc.
YOUR daughter deserves that and so do you!
Find some counseling. Work until you find it. If money is an issue, there is free counseling available. You can even go to churches in your area and they can also provide resources for you. you can also check out community centers.
if you live in the US, each state has free or low cost mental health counseling.
Never ever give up! Do this for you and her.