I don't want to carry on fighting

No relationship ending is worth ending your own life.  Talk to someone, ring the samaritans.  You are not worthless!  You are precious.  Maybe see your doctor, only please do not distress your family by ending it all.  Have something to eat and try and relax.  I've felt like this many times, especially over relationships ending.  But you will love again, you will.

I felt like this myself,though for different reasons,and for lesser time.please talk to your doctor,they'll be able to help you as they did me,though I'm still waiting to get an appointment with an councellor.youre like me,when I wanted to end it all,the thought of hurting those closest stopped me.you can do it,pop to your doctors or phone them,they'll help you,and as titebeth said,call the ssamaritans.or pop into their building if there's one near you,or email.I've done the last two and it helped sooooo much.good luck and keep us posted xXx

Hi David, I don't know if you have posted before, so I am sorry I don't know your story, but the fact that you have shows that you know you need some help. I know how hard it can be not wanting to continue, just wishing you could go to sleep and not wake up again. But as you say, you don't to hurt those close to you. Do thy realise how you feel? Losing somebody you love is the hardest thing to come to terms with. Have you had any form of counselling. You are not worthless, you are unique and you need to find a way to believe tht about yourself. Depression distorts everything and working though is difficult, but it is an illness and like most illnesses it may take time to find the right treatment for you. Are you on any medication sometimes it can take a while for them to kick in. Please keep talking. I keep a diary just for me and it has helped because I have said things in it that I found difficult saying to a real person.  As you say you have many things to be grateful for, so I really hope you can find the strength that  will help  you enjoy being you. 

Lesley

 

Hi David.

I have read your story I am very sorry you feel the way you do.

I myself have been were you are now so I know how you feel believe me.

I have had depression for over 30 years I know what it's like.

But you have so much to live for.

May I ask you why you want to end it all you have people in your life who care about you very much.

Have you tried talking to some one about how you feel.

If you want to chat then my email address is ______

Email me if you want to chat.

Geri

Emis Moderator comment: I have removed the email address as we do not publish these in the forums. If users wish to exchange contact details please use the Private Message service.

http://patient.uservoice.com/knowledgebase/articles/398331-private-messages

Hi David

You say you've battled for 5 months now

This tells me your a fighter you've already

Proved to your self that you are strong

Did the depression start before / after

Loosing your partner ?

You cannot carry on like this obviously going by what you have wrote / feeling

Best bet is to speak to a parent

Failing that a close friend

You need to act on this now

There's folk on here who are willing to talk

Chat and understand me included

Let me know how you get on

Regards daz

david please start to believe in yourself and go to your doctor if. you havent been lately ! please believe you can beat this given time and the back up of those you can trust to help you ! i my self have felt like it wasnt worth.carrying on but with help of others close to me i realise im wanted ! take care david j !

david please start to believe in yourself and go to your doctor if. you havent been lately ! please believe you can beat this given time and the back up of those you can trust to help you ! i my self have felt like it wasnt worth.carrying on but with help of others close to me i realise im wanted ! take care david j !

Many times the things we want are not the right things for us. You need to trust the fact that there is simeone out there for you waiting and the person you lost was just a stepping stone to get to your true love. Thingsbthat are meant to be dont end and dont make you feel sad or devasted. Work on yourself for a bit before you jumo back in the dating. Join a gym and ajustndo you. Its never fair to be co dependent in another person. A person makes like better, BUT you must be whole first.

Hello David, Firstly i am glad you don't wish to hurt your loved ones, i have been in this position when my husband commited suicide and left me with two young children. It as been years now but we have lived with the pain and will continue to until our dying days. You don't say how old you are but i am guessing you are young. Relationship break ups are never easy and we question ourselves as to why me. You feel worthless now but with the right treatment you will get better. You are a unique person and deserve happiness. Please seek treatment, the first step of call is your GP, there are lots of drugs that can help to lift your mood but they do take time to work. Counselling is another treatment and talking therapies, CBT is another. You will get through in time. In the meantime you can contact the Samaritians, it helps to talk. Keep talking here too as lots of people will help you.

Elizabeth. 

Thank you all for your supportive comments.

Im 28 and yes I have been on medication for about 4 months now and I still am. I have tried a few different types. I have admittedly been better than I was and found it easier to focus at work since being on this new type for the last 2 months. However, I still know I am no where near happy. All I seem to do is distract myself from the pain that is constantly there. It's Like living with a black dog behind me. I always know it's there and no matter how hard I try there is no way I can run away from it. The thing is I don't want to have to live with this pain for the rest of my life.

I know it sounds selfish and stupid to be like this over a loss of a relationship but I really don't want to carry on living with this pain. I sometimes just wish I was more selfish to stop the pain. Why should I have to go through so much suffering just to stop other people hurting. Surely they wouldn't want me to live with this pain for the rest of my life.

The annoying thing is even if I could get over the pain of loosing someone I loved so dearly and the way she made me feel so insignificant after we broke up I know I would never allow myself to love someone so dearly again. I know the biggest problem is I don't and have never loved myself and all my happiness comes from the love, affection and acceptance from others. But I can't change from that now and trying to live with what has happened and what I've lost is something I can't see myself doing.