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I don't want to get up anymore.

Posted , 6 users are following.

austin66706
austin66706

What's the point in doing anything? I'm just gonna end up alone. My friends are going to go off and do great things while I live alone doing nothing with my life. I'll be looked down on and judged for being lazy by my friends and family. Not like I'll amount to much. I just have no motivation or passion.

1 like, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • RHGB
    RHGB austin66706

    Posted

    You need to see someone find find the cause of your depression, because depression is the symptom of something else.

    A counsellor or physciatrist may help, the only pitfall, is there are some really good ones out there and some truly awful. Maybe your GP may be able to refer you otherwise it sounds like you are going to go deeper into that hole and that may lead to alcoholism to block out the depression.

  • Tancam
    Tancam austin66706

    Posted

    Having no motivation or passion does not mean one is lazy - only that one has become disillusioned regarding any dreams one might have had. Did you have any dreams? Where they genuinely yours? If they were genuinely yours; then, what put you off? If you had no specific ideas about what you would like to do; then have a look at the ads in the papers withouth dismissing them. I mean this, not as going for the job or social group etc, but as a fantasy exercise while you're getting to understand your own needs better. (Because you do have them.. and they are not only about human contact.)

    Noone can fix you but you. I don't know how old you are but I have a lot of friends, mainly above 50 but also in their twenties, who, for some obscure reason think they have missed the relationship-train.

    As long as you're alive and breathing.. you haven't missed a thing!

    Ok, admittedly; there are times when we simply don't seem to have the will-power or energy to apply all the positive tools available. That's ok for now. Take yourself away. See a new place. Maybe a cheap boring one that you will never ever want to return to, but one that brakes the pattern/cycle/circle.

    RHGB mentioned alcohol and blocking out depression. Is that an issue? Alcohol or drugs? They can fulfill a crutch-like survival technique indeed but is no long-term solution.

    Personally I believe a lot of our problems stems from fear. If we can figure out what our own individual fear is; then we will know that fear has many layers and, to unpick it.. we have to be both patient and persistent.

     

  • stevo1975
    stevo1975 austin66706

    Posted

    Hi Austin I remember this feeling especially the helplessness and feeling of never finding happiness again! the fatique is overwhelming and until I started on citalopram I struggled day by day. Get yourself to a doctor and get a treatment plan together be psoitive that there is a better quality of life buddy smile
  • robin39877
    robin39877 austin66706

    Posted

    Good Evening, 

    Yes I know *EXACTLY* how you are feeling right now. 

    Currently, I have no job and am trying to find one in administration. I know it might be a long wait, but nevertheless, I find going to the job centre demoralising as I try to find one and its going to take realistically years to save anything at all worth having, whilst my family are well off, due to unfortunate circumstances and all I get is, find a job and earn some money. 

    I find that patronising because whilst they can enjoy their wealth now, its going to take me years before I can even begin to think about that type of thing. I am not motivated by money, don't get me wrong, but when you have no job and everyone in the family has a lot of money, it makes it a very difficult time as they can enjoy that money now. My dad said he had no money when he was young and I appreciate that and he says I am better off now than he ever was and my older sister has come into a very proftable asset, worth at least six figures and relatives have just been given 100k each, whilst I do my best to scamper for a job, which in truth, is only going to make things worse for my wellbeing and mental health as it just becomes more and more demoralising as the years go by. 

    I have some things I guess which do make me happy, but it is a very modest lifestyle when you compare it to other members of my family - the last year, they came into fortunate circumstances and I do know they worked hard for their success and I guess I was never great at saving money but a lot of young people spend money as saving has always been much more difficult than earning. 

    Nevertheless, I get responses when I tell my feelings like, 'you'll get a job' or 'it'll be your turn one day.' Yeah, one day when its almost impossible to be able to enioy the payoff, at the expense of a better word. I would never wish any ill toward my family at all and I know it seems like I am motivated by money, I'm not, but I won't lie when I say I do feel resentful when they are a lot better off than me right now and have the option to exercise the asset in question to further enhance their lives whilst I lead a modest life. 

    Sometimes I don't feel a part of the family at all and as I say, when people say money isn't everything, well you need money to survive and have a bit on the side for a future, for entertaining yourself etc. So basically, whilst I scamper along and try to find a meaningless job and earn a pittance in truth, other family members can enjoy their 5 or 6 figure sums if they wanted to and they expect you to be happy about that with their patronising responses and disheartening advice? Come off it. 

    I might not have been the most successful person in the world and I left my last job of 11 years, something which I do feel proud to have done as some people don't last two minutes but I have little in the way of a social life, little money to enjoy and I sit back and just accept my situation and try my damndest to keep a smile on my face whilst others just don't understand and make you feel about that big. Real nice. 

    Anyways, I want to tell you to keep a smile on your face because although you feel really negative now, just remember, as hard as it is, that you are equally as important as anyone is and that you are worth something - its time to go out there and make the world notice and give the middle finger to anyone else who says otherwise because they are no better than you, regardless of circumstance - now I just need to reassure myself about the same thing. 

    In time, things will improve. NOTHING lasts forever, not even depression. Just keep the faith and patience will be rewarded and just keep that smile on your face. It makes you so much more human than those who dare mock your situation with meaningless gestures or advice. 

    If you ever need to talk, just drop me a line because I have the utmost sympathy for you. 

    My very best,

    Robin

  • austin66706
    austin66706

    Posted

    I'm sorry, let me expand. I have been told it gets better. It doesn't last and that everyone goes thorught these moods. I have also heard people tell me that they go through the same. You know what? It doesn't help. It doesn't make me feel better. I thought maybe venting my issues to total strangers that I figured I would care less about would somehow make me feel better about my situation. But no, I was wrong. I hate telling people this stuff. It doesn't help, it only makes it worse. Not only do I have these issues still but now I have judgment and disappointment.

    I'm 18, almost 19, a virgin, never had a girlfriend and the friends I have now I've only known them for a year. Don't worry, I'll wait for my turn. While my friends live their lives. I'll waste mine waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting. While my friends talk of love, lust, passion, dreams, and opportunity. I'll listen and wait for my turn to talk. I'll be patient. I'll distract myself until it happens.

    I smile, I provide a happy environment for my friends and family and coworkers because if they ever knew my problem, my pitiful and pathetic problem, they'll judge, they'll think of me differently.

    But I'll just wait. Wait patiently

    • austin66706
      austin66706

      Posted

      Alcoholism isn't a problem yet but boy is a whole bottle of Kraken a nice distraction.
    • False_Hope
      False_Hope austin66706

      Posted

      I know the politics of life, all the people who wants sex and all that are people that are too afraid too look life in the eye... i'm 17 and i belive having sex is a terrible thing to do unless it's for a baby or something but sex isn't what you think it is... and you'll be a better person for not doing it because then there's no grief to be caused because love can get to much to the point it weakens you this is why it's best to avoid it and try and be pure and not rely on your friends. I mean what is love?... a headache thats what it is... nothing lasts even the strongest relationship has a weak point if you think your strong and capable enough live on your own do it! because you will be better this way. Imagine doing everything the way you want without anybody getting in your way but still have the right attidude about it. that's all i'm saying, you don't have to have a girlfriend or friends to get the most out of life , live life trapped in your own little bubble if you want to because it's mostly fun that way.

      Hope i shared some thought about your topic...

    • robin39877
      robin39877 austin66706

      Posted

      Hi Austin,

      If you believe that, you'll believe anything. That's the harsh truth. Sometimes things may not get better. Talking to a stranger about your issues doesn't really help. I can't say it 100% because sometimes you do feel better talking to someone, but its tough to do. I've been to a counsellor when I lost my job last year and I had some very unpleasant mindset to cope with. I had suicidal thoughts, it was that bad, all because of a work investigation over something I was accused of doing on social media, but never did.

      Nevertheless, if things don't become better and you don't realise your dreams in life or happiness, just remember it doesn't make you any less of an individual - it was just never meant to be, sadly. That said, you have to go out there and find ways to make yourself happy and motivated - even the smallest thing can make all the difference. I mean, I rarely go out, due to lack of a social life but I went to a convention in London last July and I was dreading it. I had panic attacks and wasn't myself at all, yet somehow found courage to go and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Speaking to different people and meeting famous individuals, it was something that, just for once, made me feel good about yourself. 

      Those that judge you aren't worth knowing in my opinion - you support people through thick and thin - if you choose to lead a modest life with modest gain, that's your choice at the end of the day, even if it wasn't a choice to begin with. It doesn't make you any less of a person than those who go out and have success in their lives. In fact, those who take several hits in their life and come back from it are shown, in my opinion, to be more successful and command more respect. Lord knows I've taken a lot of hits in my life. I live a modest life but I get on with it and make the most of a difficult and painful situation. Furthermore, you are not a disappointment. I tell myself as long as you can be a good person, think rationally and have a good heart, that's all that matters. 

      People think that to do all these wonderful things will make them superior. No it doesn't. Not if they just want these things to better their lives and show it off. I don't begrudge anyone having a better life, its how you go about doing that. I mean, in my situation, I live a modest lifestyle and when I talk about my financial issues, I get told, 'well your mates have no money' whilst they bask in the sunshine of wealth and riches - nice that, isn't it. Nevertheless, I keep going but can't help but feel annoyed at this charmless response. 

      I'm 33 and I've never even properly kissed a girl and that can dig and because I'm over 30, people think now I must be strange - life isn't as simple as that. You won't waste your life waiting if you want something so go out there and find a girlfriend and make some more friends and do things you want to do - only you can make that happen. Indeed it will happen, just exercise patience. I'm 33 and I've convinced myself through waiting it may or may not happen. We'll see but if I die a virgin or don't realise my dreams or happiness, I won't be devastated but will be disappointed but doesn't make me any less of a person. I can't say I am 100% unhappy because I'm not, I just live a modest life and just make the best of it, which is what everyone should do and not feel ashamed because of it. 

      Also, being a virgin at 19 is not pathetic. Indeed, there are those in their elder age who are virgins but its nothing to be ashamed of, nor pathetic - society judges indeed, but for them to do so is very poor and shows them up, rather than you. Its just we all have to follow the same route in life or are expected to do so and that is wrong. 

      Good Luck to you, you can do it and with patience will come reward.

      Best,

      Robin

  • Digsby
    Digsby austin66706

    Posted

    Hello Austin,

    I hear the utter frustration in your posts - somehow life is passing you by and you're not getting to experience the things you really crave. It's a very hard habit to break as it's part of human nature, but comparing ourselves to others, particularly in terms of what they have and we don't, can lead down a very dark path. I've recently lost my job due to my depression so money is a big issue for me. I look at some of my friends and family who I know are not well off by any means but they probably throw away more food in a week than I eat (don't worry - I haven't resorted to going through bins yet but it is very frustrating to see waste when you have a pressing need!) My therapist is helping me to change my mindset to a more self-soothing one, where I aim to meet the needs myself that I think (rightly of wrongly) that other's are not meeting for me. Depression can leave me so exhausted - i think if someone could just come and do this or that for me it would make all the difference. I'm starting slowly to make that difference for myself. I'm looking less at what I haven't got or what's wrong with my life, and more at what I have got to be grateful for and the positive things I have going for me. I can build on these positives but the negatives just weigh me down, like chains dragging me to the bottom of my pit. Sorry getting stuff off your chest on this forum hasn't helped you to feel any better. Sometimes knowing that others are suffering the same as us just makes us feel worse, though reaching out and helping others can often lift us a bit. If you think your "friends" care so little about you and your future, then it may be time for some new friends? Yes, I know they don't grow on trees but relationships that perpetuate our own unhealthy view of ourselves are difficult to battle against when we're already fighting hard each day. At 48, I've finally started to let go of what other people think about me. What's important is what YOU think when you look in the mirror. Please don't keep bottling up your frustration, your hopes and dreams. Life can be lived now. You may need to adjust your expectations but that doesn't mean giving up on the things you want. Savour the things that you have. Please let us know how you get on. All the best,

    Digsby

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