i dont enjoy or ejaculate during sex what should i do?

I assume that you are male, and that you massage your penis with your hand.

?Quite often when men masturbate, they grip their penis very hard whilst they are rubbing it. That grip is often much stonger that a girl's pelvic floor muscles can acheive.  Also the speed with which you can massage you penis with your hand is far faster than in penetration of the vagina. 

The way the penis is inserted in to the vaginal tract is diiferent to that in which an erect penis is being massaged manually, no matter the length of the erection. There is only so far that a girls vagina can accept a penis, and usually the erection is longer than that the girls vagina and often up to the edge of the cervix.

?The fact that you have masturbated for so long means that the girl can grip your penis as hard as you hand, and therefore the amount of stimulation is not there to excite the need to ejaculate.  The other reason why you may not ejaculate, or it takes you longer to reach climax is that you have "over-ejacualted", that is to say that the testes cannot create enough sperm and semen to allow you to ejaculate.

?If you do not feel the prostate gland "switching over" from allowing you to urinate to ejaculate then there may be prostate issues.  Alternatively if you do feel the prostate gland switch and you are haveing to use not only your stomach muscles but the whole body stiffen, particularly your thighs and the need to point your feet, along with rubbing the penise shaft very quickly, may mean that you have mastutbated to much and so often, you testes cannot produce enough semen fast enough to replace that which you have ejaculated already.

?The other "clue" to whether you have released so much ejaculate that you testes cannot replace it fast enough is the reduction in the ability of the penis to become fully errect in the first place.  It may be sufficient to pentrate but again when the partner applies her plevic floor muscles, again they are not strong enough to stimulate what is a less hardened erection.  Again, because you penis is not sufficiently erect you are less likely to acheive orgasm, and therefore ejactulation.

?As for the "remedy", I would suggest that you masturbate less frequently and not applying so much "effort" when you need to ejactulate.  When you are on your own masturbating, do not climax more than three times. If your penis is not erect already and the head of the glans is covered by the foreskin (an argument for NOT being circumcised), then don't masturbate.

?Also leave a break (and I am talking a number of days) betwen your masturbation sessions.  This will give time for epidimus and testes time to build up enough sperm to allow you to ejaculate.  If you having problems acheiveing an erection after a number of ejaculations, then stop.  Again allow a coule of days between the next time you have a masturbation "session".

The same goes for the actual penetratration with you partner.  Do not have as much penetrative sex, and less frequently. Nor should she masturbate you along the shaft of the penis. but gently rub the tip of the glans of the penis with a lubriant and gently roll your foreskin just to the edge of the glans, not pull your foreskin past the glans.

?There is nothing wrong with the "kiss and a cuddle" and in her case the act of penetration being achieved in the form of a vibratror or indeed you masturbating her with your fingers.  Remember you can emulate the would be width and lenght of your would be "penis by proxy" using more or fewer fingers when entering your partner both in terims of widfh and length.

?If you spontaneously achieve an erection and you feel the need then masturbate or if she is available make love to your partner wants to have sex with you at the same time; i.e. she is aroused.  Again just have a short penetrative session and you do nor have to ejaculate reach orgasm each time. Again, she can masturbate you, but more gently.

?By all means carry on penetrating your partner with your erect penis as she is enjoying it but just make her aware that you are not able to acheive orgasm and ejaculation.  In any case she may prefer that you do not ejaculate as the feeling of the semen running from her vaginal tract when you withdraw, may not be something she wants every time. So masturbating you may be an alternative too. It excites you to orgasm, eveni if you do not ejaculate semen.

?Like all these things discuss it with your partner and she how she wants to carry on the sexual relationship; indeeed what arouses her and makes her orgasm without the need for you to penetrate.  Taking a break from penetrative sex and avoiding masturbation for a while, may be as long as a week may be enough to make you have an urge to experience orgasm and pentration again.