I dont know what is going on.

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hey, im 19 years old, just moved from my home with my family to student housing in university. I am staying with my best friend for 8 years, and an international student, and a 36 year old guy. 

The problem is, ever since I have moved here, I can't get my head straight, I had an on and off relationship with a girl for roughly 3 years, first love etc etc. We were planning on moving on since departing to uni, but neither of us can do it on our own it seems. But I feel like I just cant get away from looking for her. I didn't really feel this way about her previously, but now it feels stronger than ever. Im also not coping too well with being away from my immediate family, as I had 2 brothers and a sister, so I was always with people. Now I cant seem to organise anything, I can't think straight, i unfortunately get overwhelmed when on my own and start to.. cry.. Yes.. I have never been one to get overwhelmed with emotion, but the past 2 weeks i have 0 focus, I havent been doing any of my hobbies, and I cant concentrate in uni or build a solid social circle. I tried going out clubbing and partying, but I just see everyone else having a good time, so I just leave- go home and pretty much just shut myself out from the world.

I can't get this feeling off of me, I wake up not wanting to wake up, I go to sleep hoping to never wake.. Feeling like there is an unbearable burden upon my shoulders that I just cant lift.

Im just looking for some advice, maybe a reason or anything. As my head has never been all over the place so much so that I need to ask for help. I dont know what to do with myself..

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Just like to say that asking for help was a tough decision fir you. But you've asked.

    If your at uni.  There are people there you can talk to in confidence.  

    I'm a lot older than you but I understand how your feeling. There's time I feel the same. I'm from a large family 6 brothers 3 sisters. Then my own family. Suddenly your alone and it's so over whelming you can't cope with being alone. 

    Your not alone remember that. Register with the doctors. And tell them how your feeling. I'm on med.  They have helped me a lot.  Hope this helped

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    • Posted

      Thankyou for achknowledging me.

      Yeah, it is tough being away from loved ones, espeically when it all happens so quickly and you dont get time to adjust for yourself.

      Its really quite difficult for me to seek help, even as stupid as this sounds, im the main support line for a few people including family, and have always seemed to be the spark of happiness. I find I can hardly tell me family, and I wouldnt even know what to say to a doctor or professional.

      Mental illness is heriditary in my family, just never thought I would experience it. Not too sure on medicine, but then again I dont really know what I was looking for. I suppose I just have to get the support and help that is available to me.

      Thankyou for your reply.

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    • Posted

      I can understand that. Plus you need time to adjust to your new surroundings. Seek help,  you will get the support you need. I did and my support is really helpful. 

      All the best 

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  • Posted

    Hello Ed..

    I can't think what it's called but do you know when a mothers children all leave home and she is left feeling lost,scared and alone( empty nest syndrome), well maybe you have something like that??? Adjustment anxiety/depression or separation anxiety/ depression.

    Going off to Uni for some people is amazing but for those of us who are a little more sensitive and have close family ties,these things can be very hard. 

    I for one don't like change and I'm comfortable and happy when I'm around the people I love.

    If you think about it you will of had a lot on your plate over the last few years and now you have reached the goal(uni)and you can sit back and relax,the enormity of it all may of just hit you like a ton of bricks.

    It does sound like you are depressed but I think in order to get the best advice and support,you are best off speaking with a doctor,maybe a Uni counsellor.

    Please don't think it is only you suffering this way. I can bet you right now that there are hundreds of youngster setting out on there journey through Uni feeling just the same.

    A huge (((HUG))) from me xx

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  • Posted

    HI Ed I am not dismissing how you feel but I think a lot of it is because you are homesick.  It is a big change leaving the family home and finding yourself without that support group in a big,  strange environment like Uni.   Give yourself time to settle in and get used to being an adult in a large world - it is hard but it is worth it in the end.  

    Be patient with yourself and before long the unfamiliar will become familiar but you are still finding your feet at the moment.  At least you have got your best friend with you - can you talk to him about it?  

    I reckon a lot of the youngsters there will be feeling the same thinking everyone is having a great time except them!  You will enjoy it in time I promise.  x

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  • Posted

    Ed,

    To me, it sounds as if there were too many changes within your life, and that you are dependant upon those (family) you do not now have constant contact with.  Heading for depression, and filled with anxiety.

    Nineteen is young to be heading away from family, but, all teenagers will get to that point, at sometimes within their lives.  People have to plan for the future, as they are the only ones, that should plan on what is going to happen.

    And, life does happen to us all, whether later teenages (in age), or into the 20's.  Life goes on.

    Recommend you to decide whether you want to stay with family, or to the student housing.  You didn't see this problem before hand, did you?

    Make a choice, then do what the choice is, and stick with your choice.  Ensure, after considerations of all kinds, that the choice you make is the one you desire, for all the right reasons.

    It is when one makes a choice, based on what they feel, and not after all the considerations are identified, that they learn they have made that wrong choice.  Now, it seems to me, that is exactly what you have done.  Maybe you need to grow up and mature more, before you "leave the nest".

     

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