I dont know what to do

Posted , 5 users are following.

Im a 22 year old girl.I have a problem whith anger and anxiety.When i get angry i cant controll my self, i cry,yell and hit myself as hard as i can.I tried to talk to my parents but theyre not that suportive eather.my fiance in the other hand seems very kind and loving but when i get all these crises,he just gets anoyed and makes it worse,because i feel abandoned from the most important person in my life.I wanted to go to a shrink but i live in a town where everyone knows everything and to be honest im ambarrased of it,people thinking that im crazy or something.I dont have anyone to talk to.These crises hapen very often,sometimes twice a month,i started taking sleeping pills a lot ,i even tried to end my life.I dont really know what kind of condition is this but is hurting me and the people around me.Last night it happend the same thing and my fiance told me that he is sick of this thing and told me to take carr of my self vecause i have problems.I font know what to do,please if someone had the same excperience,id be very thangul to talk to..

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  • Posted

    Im so sorry about your feeling of isolation.My daughter has ADHD with bad anxiety and depression. I had her go to counseling because I love the hell out of her and could see the depths of where she went when she was in the middle of a crisis . It was so hard to even get her diagnosed as the Pediatricians don't want to diagnose.Really I diagnosed her and the psychologists tested her and confirmed my fears . She is also 22 and honey it is hard for her still. Please go to a counselor . The heck with what people think,this is your life and you deserve to experience love and joy . It is hard for your parents because they probably don't know what they sre seeing. You need to find a counselor that you feel comfortable with and that might mean seeing more than 1 .You are young,and it is better if you get a handle on this now.Also suggest you tubing yoga and meditation to help you change your body's energy when you are in the middle of a crisis . You can do this 💐

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    • Posted

      Thanks a lot i apreciate your advice and im so sorry for your daughtersad im so glad she has you to turn to,because im very lonley in this situation.Thanks again for the kind words ,i needed them🌹

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    • Posted

      You have a Smart Phone so you can probably do You Tube .Try meditations for anxiety and depression.I just went through 2 1/2 years of chronic pain and I will tell you that the resources I found on you tube were actually quite helpful.If you are in Europe I guess there is quite a wait.The Us is not much better and it is costly to get any kind of help.Also keep coming back here and communicate with others so you don't feel so alone .Might I suggest that you look for Crissis Hotline phone numbers ,You said you had considered suiscide once.That happened with my girl too . I was at work,it was during the Holidays and I was the only one on for my Dept. I helped her and still worked. She had cut herself but not deep .She latter told me that she was so frustrated that she did not know what to do so she did that .We got through it .What sucks is that if you do something permanent you can't fix it . Don't do anything permanent .

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  • Posted

    I agree. Don't worry about what people think. Your life is important and the sooner you get help the better. It usually takes a while to get into the system if you're in the uk but if you have health insurance then even better. If you are in the U.K., persaveer as they need more funding and sometimes it's hard to get the proper help you need.

    Be open with your fience. Let him know you want to get support and hopefully he will see you are trying to make things better.

    I hope you can get the help and support you need.

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  • Posted

    I went through the same thing when I was around your age. I also self medicated with drugs and alcohol which intensified the anger...I am now 52 and on the right anxiety meds...do be embarrassed to seek help...it can only help...try not to worry what other people think cuz in the long run they don't have to live your life...

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    • Posted

      Thanks for the opinion💕 The problem is that i've seeked help in my parents and boyfriend,but i just ended up beeing seen as a psycho.I live in Macedonia,its very hard to find a good shkrink here,plus I dont have the money.Anyway writing in this forum with people that really understand,like you,was very helpfull 💐

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  • Posted

    Hi, I really never ever write anything on the internet but I was feeling down and saw your post and wanted to just do it. Because I was/am in a very similar situation.

    But don’t get me wrong a lot of times when people say “Oh I had that too,I understand” in my mind I’m like No you don’t understand. It’s different.!” So I just wanted to write to you to just…well.. talk.

    I am 26 years old with anxiety ,depression, Lot’s of anger and prob ADHD.  (Urrgh, it’s kinda hard writing this because nowadays everyone says they have these and admitting it makes me feel like I am weak or dramatic)

    I have a fiancé who is very loving but also is a very logical minded former neuroscience major so even if he tries I know that it’s hard for him to understand and yes when he says something it just makes things worse and I get even more upset.

    My family I love is good.But also I grew up with lot’s of violence and anger bursts around me, but it wasn’t the typical movie “abuse” so I still have a hard time thinking it was abuse. And I grew up as having those violence as the norm. I had several occasions feeling like I’m just a psyco…or people making me feel like one…. And feeling hopeless no one gets it.

    I think that is why I have crazy angers that I can’t stop, I get violent, I cry, I hurt, Of course I yelll, and suicidal I talk to people but also feel like they are thinking “not again”. I am pretty healthy ,excersize tried so many “self help” videos and tried meditation yoga….. It wasn’t for me at the time or maybe I could feel a bit better but I get back.

    I recently, after so many many years thinking why am I like this , started going to a psychiatrist and it has helped a lot. (With no insurance) I am in the US now.

    My original birth country is pretty behind on mental health and I heard  many times it’s hard to find a good psychiatrist so I was always stuck in that idea and never tried, (it’s expensive, people will find out, I am weak, What if I don’t find the right one, I don’t want meds ……etc…etc)

    First of…Don’t let your mind decide something that you think you know!! Okay? So many things in my life I wasted oppurtinuties because I had this way of thinking.

    I want to share my thoughts on what you can do even  very slightly, at least a small step to head to a better way… hope it might help.

    I don’t know about your country… but..

    For anxiety , depression, suicidal etc thoughts 

    -Psyciatirist is a Dr. Who can prescribe you with medication. This is what you need first I think. They are also prohibited by the law to ever talk about there patients to other people. So even if it’s some one you might know you shouldn’t worry.. (people in your town will know is your anxiety speaking )

    -Psychologist/Therapist, short answer are professional people you can talk to. And they will try to put in all your actions, your past , your atmosphere etc in mind…. A mix of three will be great but Psychologist/Therapist, can not prescribe you with medication so I will reccomend find a way to have both.

    Anger

    -For my self I understand when you have that anger bursts it’s real raw emotions and you can’t stop…I recently just tried to isolate my self in a different room alone (I live in a studio with my fiancé so I will go to the bathroom)

    -Than to let go of the boiling anger or violence I yell cry in a towel, or whip that towel on a wall lol but in a room alone.

    -After that I tend to calm a bit more and come out and need a hug.

    -I begged my fiancé to when I have the anger bursts I wanted him to just hold me very very tightly or in a blanket and don’t speak. Just say that it’s okay. 

    I don’t know if the above will work for you but I really hope it might.

    I understand people will say “talk to your family friends…etc” But honestly having a professional talk to you is def better.

    I’m not denying the family and friends but it’s different.

    If you can’t find a therapist nowadays there are online therapists or even texting therapist that is not expensive you can try.

    I also heard group therapy is good too. 

    I wish I tried everything sooner. Don’t let other people speak who you are don’t worry about how other people think (and gosh it’s easy to say and you know it but hard to act on right? Lol) 

    YOU can take control on getting better and it’s NOT your fault you have these symptoms. It’s hard for people or myself to know something is wrong esp when it’s not phsical blood pouring out from your skin and know hey I’m hurt.

    But I really do think you can get better.

    I am still working but I know I am.

    Wishing you best of luck!!! :D

     

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    • Posted

      Hi!!As i read your coment I see myself in every situation.

      I do the same with my fiance, i told him that when it happens just dont say anything,hug me and let me yell and cry.But as the time passes and its not getting any better,its hard for him too,to manage his tolerance,an as I said, I get worse and worse every time.

      I am looking forward to seeing a shrink,i just need to find someone good.I did some research and here in Macedonia there arent a lot of these.

      Please I need to know,this condition,what is it? Anxciety,depression? Can you tell me based on your excperience at the doctor?

      I also grew up in a family where a lot of fight was going on in the past.

      Just so you know,friend,your coment made me feel a little better,thankyou thankyou thankyou💐

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    • Posted

      Hey smile 

      So happy that you responded. 

      I think the other part that makes you even more upset is that you start feeling "guilty" to your fiance right? You feel like you are burdening him, even the slightest bit of him showing that he is getting tired of it makes you feel so bad. But you can't help it and you don't know what to do, but you need him close... you feel like maybe  if you disappear will solve all the problems....etc etc...  that’s what I feel. Even today I had that haha.

      Have you tried separating yourself in a room alone or letting it out (yelling it and all the things bubbling inside) FIRST ALONE before you hug your fiancé? 

      When I do it I

      -Know that I am getting angry 

      -I go to a different room where I can lock myself or something away from my fiancé. 

      -Bite into a towel really hard or scream in a pillow.

      -the other day I used the towel to just hit the bathroom wall lol

      -After I let that that “burst” out I calm down a bit.

      -Splash myself with cold water

      -Step out and hug my fiancé (but I will be more calm now)

      -I sometimes explained when I am not angry let my fiancé know how he could say things in a better way… I know it’s not there fault but sometimes even the little difference on what they say triggers me.

       I have been trying to do these recently, it’s a small difference but I know it’s better for both of us (me and my fiancéwink

      These are all my personal opinion but

      DON’T WORRY ABOUT FINDING A GOOD PSYCHIATRIST or DR.  If there is one that will be enough. Try and step in see how it goes. If they are not good DON”T BE UPSET YOU HAVE TRIED AND WE ARE HERE YOU DESERVE HELP.

      It’s okay if it doesn’t work. It will be.

      As for you question, about anxiety and depression,

      I did not know I had it. Anxiety is extreme worrying too much basically, and depression is feeling bad  you can’t get up, etc there are so many symptoms it’s faster if you google it.

      For me I was just randomly looking up stuff and fell upon reading about ADHD.

      as I read I felt more and more felt like I had it and my past getting angry at myself was the reason of add.. I don’t know but just wanted to see and then I went to the dr. 

      I ALWAYS thought my Anger bursts and stuff was never a ..let’s say a “mental health” problem. I thought it was a normal personality thing. So I didn’t even look it up before or etc I didn’t think it was even a thing to “cure”.

      When I first visited the dr. I just kept on talking at first about maybe I have ADHD or not. But in the end the doctor realized that there was so much in my life and how I grew up was ALOT… that many things I thought it was normal was not okay. He never says it but I guess I HAD depression and anxiaty.

      I still have a difficulty accepting it thinking I am just weak and dramatic… but there is a reason WHY you can get angry etc and there are so many factors that can develop to it . Family of course is one. I have a good relationship with my family now but that is a separate thing. My relationship and atmosphere growing up with my family has led me into what I have now. 

      Basically what I want to let you know is

      all the ANGER the FEELING BAD the WORRING the CAN’T GET UP or FEELING UNMOTIVATED or SUICIDAL is a “wound” the needs to be treated it is NOT a you are a over dramatic personality it is a real thing. 

      It is your brain and all your over working or connecting in a bad way etc.. that keeps you in this situation.

      I did not know I had depression or anxiety but now I realize I do.

      I am slowing feeling better and the other day I looked back on something that I went crazy mad and yelling and crying .. and I was like “Wow I was worried angry about that? Okay I was not okay Oh I did need help ..haha” 

      Before, I will be thinking no that is something I was really angry and upset about but this time it was different, I finally for the first time realized that it was something really silly to be so upset about, that I understood why my fiancé thought I am crazy to be upset over something like “THAT”  it made me realize it was over the line that I did need help.

      I am still going back and fourth I still deal with anger sometimes or violence etc but I def got better it has decreased.

      I don’t know Macedonia there probably not enough knowledge about mental illness or there might be medicines that are not accessible in your country…. Please don’t give up!!! Please don’t read one thing and think maybe I will never be better because I don’t have this or that…

      What about travel insurance? Sometimes if you go to another country that has better medical stuff you can try and go, but if you have travel insurance they might even cover it if you say you had that medical illnesss coming up while you were traveling (shh)lol

      Don’t give up.. it’s okay to feel sad it’s okay. Every person is different so there is not ONE cure but your body and mind is crying for help and you deserve it you need it and it will be okay. Because now you finally know that your anger and crying is not just a personality thing it can be cured. 

       

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    • Posted

      Okay I think were like twins or something??!😄Lool...

      Ive never tried that,locking up into a room alone, i always feel better when i yell at my fiance(oh poor thing).I promise the next time it happens im gonna do exactly as you said,and I hope it works.

      Ive been thinking about the future,you know,when i get married and have kids,will this be continuing?God i hope not.It scares the hell aout of me!

      Thankyou for all the kind words aand advices , I hope these awful things will happen less and less for both of us.

      I hope we keep in touch????💐

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