I feel a complete mess

I'm not sure i am in a position to suggest exactly what you should do, but as someone who also has depression and anxiety and works in a school i empathise - particularly as i have recently gone through a regressive phase which led to me upping my dose to 40.

I do think it would be a good idea to talk all of this through with your GP, if you haven't already done so. Perhaps be open to the fact that this is not the right time to reduce your dosage and consider sticking with 30.

Alternatively, the summer hols are near and you could see if the transition to 20 becomes more manageable while you don't have the added pressure of work to deal with.

Teaching is such a demanding profession, so be sure to be kind to yourself as you phase back into the classroom. Perhaps discuss the difficulties you are having with your Headteacher/line manager to see if you can at least stick with your current work pattern until things improve.

it seems that you were trying to increase your work load and decrease medication at the same time. I tried that and it didn't work well for me. your work and family life need to be in a stable condition before medications can be lowered.

I am not a Dr. it has just been my experience. I thought I was doing really well and over my severe anxiety issues and then lots changed and bam, it was back. I increased my meds again and am beginning to stabilize again.

I wish you well and hope you can find the proper balance again. I went back into the classroom as well and it increased my stress which triggered increased anxiety so I understand your position.

i have read all your post dating back 4years .with the kind of anxiety n depression you been suffering i say you need to stay on this med for LIFE!.why wean ???best regards

if i where you after 30years with this job i would retired.having wrs over your employment is not worth it.in my opinion is not the celexa causing havoc is your job.best regards

Anxiety is often born from stress, and if you’ve a demanding job then it will continue to play havoc with your anxiety whilst you’re still suffering with it. You can’t ‘have your cake and eat it’ … so to speak.

People who are overworked, have stressful jobs often have burn out. You can push your body to its limit, but if you continue to do so then it’ll result in anxiety. Something in the end has to give.

Decreasing meds and increasing workload is obviously not a good combination. Some people thrive on stress, working all hours, and some people can’t cope. I’m one who can’t cope. Even though I’ve recovered years ago, I know my limitations even now, and soon recognise when I’ve pushed myself too much. So I step back. Nothing in this world would ever make me revisit the place I once was in. Its just not worth it. My health and sanity are far more valuable than any extra stress.

6 months is not long enough for you to start weaning meds. You often get lulled into a false sense of security and think you can do this without meds. You can, but not yet, and certainly not then adding on more work.

I stayed on meds for years before I even thought about reducing. I didn’t want to come off, just reduce far enough to see how I’d fair. I then stayed on the slightly reduced dose for many years as a maintenance dose until I reduced even further. My total time on meds was 16 years.

May I suggest you go back up to your previous dose and wait on it for a few months. Its too early for you to wean. May I also suggest that the extra workload is too early too. Wait on the meds until you feel more settled - and then wait some more. Only then try a bit more workload. Stay on that dose for a long time before even considering reducing, and when you do, do it by just 5mg then stay there for a long time too.

Hi, I am in total agreement with Katecogs ( as I usually am - Hi Kay!). I was on citalopram for two and half years and went through hell - like most of us have ! I was off work on sick leave for 5 mths and dreaded returning to my very stressful job. I did return but this time it was different. Like Katecogs said, you will get to know your own limits on managing stress in the workplace- do not rush things too fast, talk to your line manager and look out for your self. There are no medals to be gained for soldiering on and making yourself worse. I think you are perhaps expecting too much from yourself - what's the rush to reduce the dose? I reduced by a tiny fraction at a time and so gradually it was almost unnoticeable. i do feel for you x

If you want to control your WRS anxiety and depression, the best way is meditation, which is a good mind control technique.

'I began alternating one day 30mg and the next 20 mg. i feel terrible.'

Are you still doing the above? I would choose a level and hold it steady, the central nervous system likes stability. I think this is contributing to how you feel.

Fellow teacher here, so I understand the stress. And teaching is one of those jobs where there seem to be no boundaries, more and more is expected. You have to set your own boundaries, really, around not taking work home etc.

I tend to agree that it sounds like a bad idea to be reducing your meds right now, especially as you have just gone back to work. You may have coped with increasing the days if you stayed stable on one dose. However, it does also sound as if you are being phased back in too quickly.

Could you go part time for a longer time?

I left teaching once, and the WRS followed me. I discovered that I can get stressed in almost ANY job because I am a perfectionist. Teaching is a high stress occupation, its true, but some people survive it and dont burn out. I think they tend to be less perfectionist and better at delegating. I spose what Im trying to say is, I think its about how we personally handle stress and making the adjustments we need. For me, I have cut permanently to part time, and I did supply for a long time too - much less stress involved. I'm not rich, but I feel a lot better able to cope.

Roll on the summer hols. Sending you best wishes. Personally I wouldn't mess with my dose, I'd stick with 30, and try to have a good summer break.

Thank you all for the replies. i have put myself back on 30mg and shall stay there. yes a mistake to come off but work or meds I am where I am and its a very dark place right now. Only 3 days to go till the end of term. I am permanently part time from September but I'm very depressed. I just don't want to teach anymore but cant afford to give up totally. I'm 52 and could retire at 55 on a very much reduced pension. I've cut from 5 to 3.5 days but I just cant see how I can be happy. Just giving up is not an option at my age.

I feel so bad I'm concerned for my family holiday. A big trip to New York and Canada paid for by my 90 year old dad. I should be excited but instead i feel numb. Would a change of medication help? Have people stopped citalopram for other drugs? If so what?