I feel alone in this.
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I've had brain fog for as long as I can remember- and honestly, my memory isn't that great so I'm tempted to just say Forever. Life was not something I enjoyed but it was something I could get through. Until my symptoms got worse.
Brain fog turned into migraines and tension headaches that woke me up in the dead of night. They accompanied me throughout my day. They moved behind my left eye, slithered by my right temple, and gripped the base of my skull and neck all day. One day it was so bad I went to the ER, convinced I was dying. My visit to the ER got me an liter of fluids and two injections (one for nausea, one for migraines) that didn't help and some bloodwork that was unremarkable. They recommended an MRI. The MRI I got 4 weeks later, but it all came back normal. It was like no one could tell me why my head felt this way. And that just made me worry further.
Suddenly, more symptoms appeared and my previous symptoms were worse. My chest began to hurt and my breathing felt stressed. I became an embarrassed athlete who couldn't do cardio for more than 10 minutes without strain. The bridge of my nose felt consistently squeezed. The right and middle of my chest constantly ached. I went to Urgent Care and asked for a ultrasound and EKG. They obliged with the EKG (normal) but did not have the equipment for an ultrasound. Instead, they took radiographs of my abdomen and chest. "Tons of gas", the doctor remarked pointing at the fog crawling up my sides on the picture. She suggested Gas-X chewables, Miralax, and another laxative. I left convinced my headache might have to do with this indigestion, which probably has to do with stress. If I could just knock this gas thing out it'd all go away. Right?..
It still hasn't gone away and has only gotten worse. At 4am this morning, I woke up in another episode of a splitting headache, nausea, and panic attack. I threw on some clothes and drove to the ER, leaving the window down to make myself feel I could breath. My jaw shook whether from fear/panic, the agony of the headache, or the cold- I'm not sure. When I arrived I got out and stared at the Emergency Room doors. I remembered the IV that didn't help. I remembered sitting there for 6hrs only to go home feeling just as terrible. I didn't want to go in and I told myself if it didn't go away I'd go.. but if it did- I wouldn't.
So I sat in my car thinking playing some music would help. It didn't. The longer I sat stagnant in my car the worse I felt. So in my last grab for independence I decided to walk down the sidewalk adjacent from the ER. My head continued to throb, my chest hurt, but the mental panic started to subside a bit.
I prayed, begged, pleaded with God and was comforted enough to drive back home.
I have an appointment with a Migraine specialist on the 27th (or 28th, I can't remember). I have an appointment with my provider at the end of next month and with a psychiatrist around the same time. Everything seems so far away when feeling like this. Minutes and hours in pain just drag. I don't know if I'll make it to the next one, much less the next day, or week. And to feel this anxious and foggy in a way that no one around me understands or is able to treat.. I'm terrified.
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jan34534 invariably-me
Edited
I am so very sorry you are going through this. It must be terrifying for you. But I’m very glad that you have the appointment coming up with the migraine specialist. Hospital staff, as much as they want to help, don’t really know what else to do except treat you the best as they can. So you are going to a specialist which is great and what is needed right now.
anxiety and panic alone is terrifying, but add to that severe migraine .
but there are some positives here.
Your MRI was normal thank goodness.
And you have the appointment coming up. there is hope right there.
And even though it made you feel awful, , you DID get through the last episode!
while you are waiting for the appointment, you can work a little bit on the anxiety and panic which would help for now.
Theres so much information online and on YouTube about anxiety management.
Many videos. there’s also many relaxing meditations for anxiety and panic. It will just help to settle your mind down a little bit and relax. I listen to these during the day and especially when I lay down to sleep. They are very comforting. I especially like one called it’s OK by Lauren. Very comforting and reassuring. it would also benefit you to listen to some mindfulness breathing exercises for anxiety.
Proper breathing is the key to relaxing the mind as well as the body When you’re suffering from anxiety .
while you are waiting for the appointment, do things to really relax yourself and try not to overthink anything at all!
Just pamper yourself. and Breathe!!
Take a nice warm bath, drink some comforting herbal tea with honey while you listen to a soothing meditation, practiced a long slow deep breathing, talk with family and friends, anything to feel more peaceful!
Have you ever considered speaking with a counselor about the anxiety? It could be very helpful for you. I do that once a week online virtually and it’s very helpful and I look forward to it! It really helps to vent to somebody else who can help.
One day at a time. one hour at a time. let us know how you are doing. We are here for you! Take care ❤