I feel fed up of these feelings and symptoms and life.

Ever since I had some scary pressure in my head that made me black out and pins and needles all over my body 3 years ago which led me to a&e on an ambulance I been having different symptoms over the years. Had ECG, chest x-rays and multiple blood and urine tests....all normal...

But I don't feel normal anymore..

I feel down, fed up and don't want to live anymore.

I'm fed up of the constant weird sensations in my head, the feeling like it is full, it comes and goes. Like my brain is focusing on something painless in my head now and then.

Tightness in my scalp. Tension like headaches that's hard to focus sometimes.

It is so difficult to explain it to the gp.

I'm fed up of the heavy feeling in my nose and my ear. My ear aches now and then and like popping in my ear.... like fullness.

I constantly get flare ups, where the feelings become more noticeable, with low mood and fatigued.

Sometimes my head goes numb and a ringing sound in my head. It's kinda similar to the feeling I had 3 years ago only shorter and only happens once.

I can't go on an elevator or escalator without an uncomfortable sensation in my head, same with theme park rides.

I been given nasal sprays and antibiotics, in my last visit, I was told by my gp that she can't find anything in there inside my ears.

I still feel something's there though.

Been told again that it may be due to my cleft palate and lopsided nose that blocks my ears and causes this, and was told there's nothing much she can do about it.

Been also told it might be anxiety and being bored with my job and life can cause feelings to become worse.

But in my mind I feel like I have something more than just anxiety.

I'm not saying I know better that the gp....they have more training than me and I'm aware of it. But my mind feels like there's something wrong and has not yet being diagnosed..

I had and eye test last year. That was normal, but it still gets fuzzy sometimes.

I feel fed up of the feelings in my back...

My lower back hurts, feels uncomfortable like a nerve feeling.

When I tie a knot it hurts my back and that hard to explain sensation in my head.

I.e when walking, my brain focuses on behind my nose in my head somewhere.

Last year it was my legs and arms, like nerve pain.

GP couldn't find what was causing them did a physical exam and wasn't so concerned.

I feel there is something wrong with me all the time. Some uncomfortable symptom, pain or discomfort that doesn't leave me alone.

I feel that I been going in and out of the gp and never feeling any better. I'm fed up of going there.

There's only 2 doctors where I live, and 15min. and one problem only

I can't simply go there when I feel like it...

I been postponing things lately, before it was social anxiety, low self esteem that was preventing me, now it is these feelings.

I feel like I'm wasting time and wasting my life away.

I'm 30 years old now, I had some opportunities, I wanted to work abroad, travel etc. Whatever this thing is, I feel sad and disappointed with myself for being a coward in life, wasted my 20s procrastinating, now this...

I feel it will never go away...

I feel scared of that feeling I had 3 years ago coming back. I hated it... I feel it might, I feel afraid to black out. I haven't since then, but it could come.

If it is something like MS or maybe an unruptured aneurysm or a tumor or whatever....to be honest....I don't care if it's "manageable" I don't want to live like this anymore....

Not just this....

I hate waking up every morning, same thing over and over again. Life is boring, work, working and helping my dad on the family farm....it's all boring.

I've lost interest in things these past 3 years.

I spend my nights playing xbox or watching youtube or on my tablet.

Entertaining, but I feel I should be spending my nights doing something else.

I feel nobody understands.... nobody gets it....I don't think anyone cares.

I have no plans in ending my life, despite thinking about it....I fear dying yet want to die and the same don't want to die....

I manage to get a referral to a gastroenterologist about my constant acid reflux and bowel problems though....waiting till May this year....

I try to eat healthy.

I used to do some weight lifting to build muscle....can't do it anymore.....the tiredness in my harms is uncomfortable, it shakes a lot and hard to lift my arms when they tire.

Pushing hard like cycling or anything that causes pressure in my head like carrying heavy weights make me feel lightheaded sometimes.

I had CBT, it hasn't done much.....

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