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I just need some kind words and advice.
I lost my job on Thursday. Afterwards, I had a breakdown while driving home - it ended up with an ambulance being called and I had to be seen by a psychiatric team.
I am still struggling to come to terms with this, but I now feel like everything is getting on top of me. I have constant headaches, my shoulders and neck are so stiff, I am struggling with my insecurities, and I feel like screaming and hitting myself.
My other half is out with his friends today, and won't be back until later. He asked me to come over so I will be there when he gets home, but I am teetotal and dislike drinking and the effect it has on people (bad experience in past).
I've suddenly gotten the urge to just never see him again, and have now told him as much. He is aware of my issues, but it isn't fair on him anymore.
I know this is probably my depression, anxiety, insecurities all mixing together and creating a distructive cocktail, but I hate feeling like this and wonder if there is anything I can do to make it stop?
I've tried councelling, medication (I am on medication now), exercise, but nothing seems ot work. I have this pent up frustration and I just want to hate myself and make everyone go away and it really is starting to reach breaking point.
I am pushing friends and family away, I don't feel like I deserve to be treated nicely and have kindness or help. I don't want to be this person anymore but I can't seem to change because my emotions get so intense.
If anyone has any advise, please share it. Anything that can make this get better.
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